Follow the Leader Chapter 5 has been released! I’ve been eager to write it for a while, and I hope it delivers. I’m having a lot of fun writing the story, and trying new things for a spin.

One type of scene I’d like to get back to is pointless conversations. As much as I’m aware that people don’t often monologue in dramatic ways in real life, sometimes I feel like we wish we could. It would be nice to let go of your pride and just talk to a friend openly and vulnerably about how you see the world, but something stops you. I often wonder what that something is.

I’m aware that as I grow older, I get more shame. I think my writing used to have more blatant monologues and this-is-the-most-important-moment-ever feelings, and I kind of miss feeling the need to include those. I feel like a lot of my writing’s events have more purpose now, and a lot of critics would even call that better writing. A lot of people don’t like “nothing” moments in stories. If something in a story doesn’t foreshadow something or serve as a symbol or inform us of the characters or world, a lot of people consider it a “low moment” or even a “waste of the audience’s time.” I find that really interesting.

If a character stops the story to just remark in a self-aware way of how they see the world, even if that doesn’t pay off in a more direct way later, I still find it valuable. I don’t know why; perhaps it helps me better imagine a character’s moral compass and why they make the other decisions they do. I’m aware that a lot of schools would call it “bad writing,” and that some might invoke “telling not showing,” but I think stories at the end of the day serve as vessels for surrogate friends. It’s nice to imagine yourself in the world, or having some kind of friendship with the character, or heck, being that character. In this way, I’d really enjoy if a friend hung out with me and told me about how they see the world, in whatever way feels meaningful to them. In the same way, I enjoy the feelgood 80s movie monologues some idealistic characters sometimes have in cheesier stories. I enjoy people being direct about their emotions and feeling how it plays out. Both as a writer and a reader, it speaks to me.

I write all this and yet, it’s interesting to notice how much my writing is becoming purposeful, as if it’s afraid it’s going to ramble or “say the wrong thing.” I wonder if there’s a more universal balance there. I don’t want my stories to feel manufactured, after all. I want them to feel as possible as… well, possible, while still feeling storylike.

This is all to say, I enjoy writing Follow the Leader and I’m noticing patterns forming within my writing now. It might be good to both practice and pause this habit as needed. I’ll talk to you all next week.