I gazed back from the passenger’s side of the car to look at Molly, who was sitting in the back seat. Her eyes met mine and she gave a small, polite smile and a shrug. The two of us sighed almost in sync as my head turned back around to look at the road. Chris said nothing as he drove.
We had just finished picking up Molly from her Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Neither of us knew if it had gone well or not – she refused to tell us anything about it, and the two of us mildly accepted that. If anything, I think the both of us were glad that she took my intervention so seriously and accepted the ultimatum that she needed to do something about her condition. A part of me wondered if she wanted to do this herself and was waiting for someone to tell her, ‘Hey, you’re seriously messed up.’
You’d think Chris was the type to play some Beyoncé or Scissor Sisters in the car or something, but nope, the car ride home had the radio off and no one was saying a word after Molly was in the car. The silence was painful.
Sooner than later, we arrived back home. “Here we are.” Chris said simply, albeit flamboyantly. “You good to go, hun?”
Molly smiled sweetly at Chris. “Yeah. Thanks.” she simply said. She began to get out of the car, as did I.
“Do you need… do you want any company or anything? Are you okay?” I clumsily asked her as she began to walk back to the house.
She looked puzzled. “Why would I need that?” she asked me.
I shrugged. “I dunno. In case you want any. I dunno.”
She looked at me weirdly. “I mean, if you want to hang around I won’t say no.” she replied coolly. Detachedly.
I sighed and tried my best to hide any disappointment on my face. “Sure, sounds good.” We both made our way back inside, with Chris bringing up the rear. I turned around to smile at him, trying to communicate my dissatisfaction with this whole thing without saying anything. The way he smiled back let me know that he was feeling pretty similarly.
As soon as I closed the door to Molly’s room from the inside, I sat down on the bed and threw my head into my hands, sighing deeply.
“You okay?” Molly asked, a little distantly. It hurt, even after all this time. She could at least pretend to care.
I debated whether to respond with ‘yeah’ or ‘no’ in my head, so I just turned off my thinking and let whatever would come to mind first fly out of my mouth.
“I made you an alcoholic.”
A pause. Molly said nothing. Eventually, I heard her chair creak as she calmly walked up beside me, then sit down next to me.
The grabbed the wrist of one of my hands and dragged it away from my face, only to fold it into one of her own hands. “Hey.” she began softly to make me pay attention to her. Slowly my head rose to look her in the eye. My eyebrows heightened in anticipation of what she was about to say, which she clearly was struggling to get out. “I actually let myself go before any of this stupid drama even began.”
How like Molly to refer to me assaulting her and the fallout of such as ‘stupid drama.’ My eyebrows went even higher. “What?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, and gave a somber smile. “I just… yeah. For a while. A long while. Stuff has been piling up for a while.”
“How long is ‘a while,’ Molly?” I asked incredulously, no longer slouching on the bed.
“I didn’t exactly mark down the day.” Molly replied lamely. She chuckled slightly, but the chuckle quickly turned into an uncomfortable cough as her eyes welled up. “I don’t… like myself. I really don’t like myself. I started drinking a long time ago. I was smart about it, I knew to only drink if I thought you weren’t going to barge in or if you were out or something…”
My face flooded with guilt as I realized that whenever I was out having sex with some college girl, Molly was hating herself and drinking her problems away, slowly destabilizing. All this time and I could have seen the signs, I could have helped her if I wasn’t so obsessed with getting another notch on my belt.
“…and it was nice.” Molly continued. “Probably bad for me, but at least it felt nice. I forgot a lot when I was drunk. I’d wake up and see I texted like six people I haven’t talked to in months. I forgot about the world, for just a few hours. I forgot about why I didn’t like myself. Sometimes I’d just straight-up forget the fact that I didn’t like myself.” She turned to face me and smiled plainly. “So it’s not your fault, Aaron. You didn’t make me like this.”
“Molly… I’m so sorry…” I slowly started.
Molly shrugged. “Don’t be. It’s whatever. I don’t want to care about it. I get why I need to stop, but it just helped me overall. It does suck because it costs a lot, and I know you judge me for it.”
“No, I don’t, don’t worry.” I soothed her.
“I know you do.” she fired back with some heat. We met eyes and I could see behind the anger, a girl whose trust I’d broken before pleading with me not to lie to her, never to lie to her again. I had to admit, I’d fallen into the habit of telling her what I thought she wanted to hear the most, and in the meantime, had refrained from telling her what I thought and felt. Maybe what I should have been telling her.
“Okay, yes. I’m worried though.” I defended myself. “I don’t think it’s how you should… I mean…”
“Live? How I should live?” Molly asked me. I nodded. “Yeah, I’m making a few of those mistakes.” she chuckled to herself. “But I’m making them on my own terms.”
“Fucking up on your own terms.” I nodded. “I remember.” We both looked at each other for a bit before I felt my mouth opening again. “Am I… is this… us having sex. Is that you fucking up?”
Molly’s expression didn’t change. Not humor, not discomfort, not anything. “I don’t know.” she told me plainly. “I mean, if you were to view this from the outside, probably I shouldn’t be having sex with you. I shouldn’t have had sex with Carson either. But I had sex with both of you. It’s probably really weird for me that I had sex with you specifically after all this, but we’re here now.” She put a hand on my thigh and made a facial expression I had never seen from Molly before. Like a humorous ‘fuck everything’ expression. “I don’t regret it. If given the chance to live the last little bit again, I’d still have sex with you.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, I’d still have sex with you too, if you even need me to say that. I’m sorry I’m still so weak.”
“Hey, I told you to stop with the apologizing.” Molly replied, her hand now rubbing my thigh. She slowly looked up into my eyes and gave me a knowing, an almost challenging, smile.
I knew what was coming and in the moment, shared her attitude of ‘fuck everything.’ If I was weak, I was going to enjoy it. Assertively, I grabbed her by the back of the neck as I moved in to make out with her. Molly gladly reciprocated, her breath caught in her chest as she kissed me back. With one hand on the back of her neck, my other travelled down her clothed body, exploring her modest curves and telling her just how much I loved her body.
Both of us knew we shouldn’t be doing this, but for now, in this particular chapter in our fucked-up lives, that’s what made the both of us want it more. As our kisses evolved, our tongues began to explore each other’s mouths as our hunger grew. We had done an awful lot of talking, but we both could communicate pretty wordlessly what it was we wanted.
I made a show of kissing my way up Molly’s body as I removed her shirt and bra. As I undid her jeans, I sucked on her nipple. Molly removed my shirt herself, and as she removed my pants, slid down with them and made sure to get a good long taste of me. I’m sure she only meant to tease me, but as she began to get into a rhythm of me sliding into her mouth over and over, she resigned herself to the position and eagerly started sucking me off as her hand slipped into her panties and she started masturbating.
Molly wasn’t the best at giving blowjobs, but even just seeing such a formerly innocent pure soul corrupted and now so eager for my cock that she literally could help but suck it made this my favorite kind of blowjob – a blowjob from Molly. Every once in a while she would look up at me with her big, innocent eyes and see how much I was enjoying myself. Then she would smile with her eyes, squinting just a little in her own cute way. I loved that smile, and fuck it all, I loved her.
As much as I loved getting serviced by her, I equally loved servicing her too. After a few minutes of her sucking on me, I reached down to communicate it was time to move on and motioned for her to get on the bed. With a grin of realization, she complied and hurriedly removed her panties, spreading her legs apart as she welcomed my fingers, tongue, or cock. Today I decided to service her with my tongue, and as I moved into position, I heard her sigh with short breath in anticipation.
With my fingers lightly brushing across her thighs lovingly, I extended my tongue and gave the first slow lick up her slit. Molly sighed contentedly, followed by a slow, lazy, satisfied moan as she knew my tongue would be working on her for a fair while.
And it would be. As my hands travelled up and down her thighs, my tongue continued its journey, making Molly pant, then moan, then eventually break her silence.
“Oh, oh my god, Aaron…”
That gave me the confidence to keep up my oral attack with spirit. I could figure out that Molly wasn’t the most vocal during sex, so any time I got her to say my name, to show both her and myself that the thoughts of me had invaded her mind enough to get them to spill out of her mouth, it meant she was mine. She had nothing on her mind but two things – Aaron, and the pleasure he gave her.
I alternated between lapping at her slit and gently playing with Molly’s very sensitive clit as one finger, then two, began to penetrate her. Molly’s shoulders rose up and down in an almost exaggerated way as the sensations built up within her. By the time I had stopped, I’m sure Molly would have tried to make a flirtily disappointed expression if her eyes weren’t glossed over and she could see straight.
But she and I both knew what was coming. I crawled up the bed to face her, grinning with confidence as she regained her composure and smiled back at me.
“P-play it safe, Aaron.” Molly breathed, still trying to catch her breath.
“Top drawer?” I asked. Molly nodded. I hopped off the bed and opened her top drawer to find a freshly bought pack of condoms. Magnums.
“Thanks.” I replied. “I have some free ones from the university in my room, but…”
“Too small, I know.” Molly replied, still breathily. “Why do you think I bought them? Hurry up and get over here.”
With the condom applied, I resumed my position, crawling up to Molly who was passing the time by gently rubbing her clit and looking me up and down. By the time I had positioned myself in front of her, Molly was looking at my cock in anticipation and biting her lower lip. I held myself there, only barely touching her, as I looked her in the eyes and raised my eyebrows, asking an invisible question. Molly softly smiled as she nodded.
That was the invitation I was waiting for. Slowly, I slid myself into her, going slow and watching her face as the head, then the shaft, slowly disappeared inside her. Molly took a sharp inhale and let her head hang back as she adjusted to my size. Slowly, her hips ground against me, first in a circular motion then back and forth, until her head came back up and she gave me a wink.
Giving her a wink in response, I began to push my hips back and forth, her eager wetness making the process simple. Instantly, she began to breathe heavier.
“Fuck yes. I’ve been wanting this all day.” she panted. “God, Aaron you’re so good at this.” With that, she wrapped her arms around me and began to admire my shoulderblades with her hands, with her hips rising up to meet mine.
In amongst her slight moans, Molly cleared her throat, almost nervously. “Aaron, choke me.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, taken a little off guard.
“I’m sure. Do it, sir.” Molly practically moaned, making me smile in slight disbelief. My hand went from supporting me on the bed to trailing up her body, then stopped.
“Beg for it.” I found myself saying.
Molly grunted in slight sexual frustration. “Please, Aaron. Choke me. Claim my throat like you’re claiming my whole body. I want this so bad.” By the end, she had raised her voice, moaning like a little schoolgirl for me.
I chuckled in a low voice. “Blood or air?”
“I don’t know. Let’s try blood.” she replied, and my hand rose up to meet her throat, closing in around the sides. I squeezed harder and harder as I kept fucking her in the same rhythm, timing my thrusts so that she’d feel faint at the exact moments I had filled her up the most. Molly’s eyes went back as her eyelids fluttered closed. Every so often, I’d release slightly, keeping her awake enough to feel every sensation coursing through her body without her passing out.
Molly tried to speak, tried to make words, but none could come out as she struggled to form basic consonants. Her body was too busy reacting to every sensation, her brain overwhelmed with the pleasure and heightened sensations, balanced with barely being conscious. Her mind could only process and feel one thing – pure pleasure. Her moans quickly turned into the gasp-laughs I knew her for, her sex-laugh. She was close. I kept up the pace and smiled in concentration as my hand worked its magic on her neck. Her body began to stiffen and her muscles contracted slightly against me as I gave it a few more thrusts before staying fully inside her. I allowed her to enjoy me impaling her fully as she came, grinding her hips on me.
Molly gave a long, satisfied grunt as her body deflated like a balloon, seemingly sinking into the bed. I released the grip on her neck and kissed her on the forehead, retracting myself from inside her. OVer the course of a minute, we both regained our strength and found ourselves in sitting positions on the bed.
“Sorry.” Molly mumbled.
“You didn’t get to finish. As usual.”
“That’s not your fault.” I replied. “I’m just kinda desensitized. I rarely cum during sex. I mean, it does happen, just not often. It’s nothing you did.”
“More than half the time?” she inquired.
“Less. A lot less.”
“Then what’s even the point of sex for you?” she asked.
“If you’re going into sex expecting not to even get to climax, that kind of takes away the point for a guy, right? And you have a high sex drive. So why do it? Why don’t you just jack off?”
“Well, for one, as you just pointed out, I have a high sex drive.” I replied, absentmindedly jerking off my dick slowly as if to prove a point. “Also… I dunno. It’s like, I enjoy the connection. If sex isn’t about getting off, it kind of moves the goalposts. It’s about pleasing my partner, or it’s about connecting, discovering their kinks…”
Molly smiled and rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah, what an altruist.” she told me as she began to put her clothes back on.
“Well… it’s true!” I protested. “Fuckin’… you try never cumming during sex, then find out why you do it. Live in my world a little.”
Molly laughed in response, now fully clothed, and went to her desk to get something. I removed the condom and started to clothe myself. By the time I was fully clothed, Molly was sitting at her desk, drinking out of a bottle of some kind of whisky.
My eyes flared. “Um… hold on.” I began awkwardly.
She finished her swig. “What?” she asked, turning to face me.
“I mean… you literally just got out of an AA meeting.” I started. “I’m still here.”
“Oh no, you might find out I’m an alcoholic. Good call.” she replied, before taking another hit from the bottle.
“Still, you should stop.” I replied.
“No.” she told me flatly. “This is me, this is what I want to do. If I’m fucking up, oh well.” Another swig. “You were fine with not looking too deep into it when we were having sex a few minutes ago.”
I sighed angrily. Guilty. I looked down at my feet and eventually Molly sat beside me on the bed. “It’s okay.” she told me. “It’s not like this changes anything else. Plus, what, did you think one AA meeting would cure me?”
“I hoped.” I told her.
“You never once considered asking me to go to sexual therapy or anything.” Molly pointed out. “Somehow that one slipped on your radar. But alcohol? Oh fuck, stop drinking immediately. Let me get Chris involved. You’re going to AA meetings.” She leaned her head back, bottle to her lips. “Kinda hypocritical.”
“I can see your point.” I replied diplomatically, feeling more uncomfortable as the seconds pressed on.
“You wanna know the most fucked-up part? You doing that sleep thing to me probably boosted your chances of us having sex. I think I’d be hesitant going into a relationship with the old Aaron because if I fucked things up with him, there would have been an important friendship lost. But I don’t mind doing this with you. If something happens, who cares? You assaulted me. What friendship am I even going to lose?” She took another generous swig. “I couldn’t have done this with the old Aaron because I respected him more. He actually looked out for me. Before you took over.” She leaned her head back and took another big gulp.” And you wonder why I’m not into you romantically.”
“I really don’t.”
“Good.” she nodded her head a bit, then leaned her head back with her lips pressed to the bottle again. “I don’t think I could have been with the old you anyways. I think I view relationships weirdly. Like, they’re for people you just met or the ones you don’t really like emotionally. That way, when they dick you over, it won’t hurt as much as the guy that you actually emotionally connect to dicking you over.”
“That sounds really unhealthy, Molly.” I replied uneasily. “I don’t think you should ever view relationships that way.”
“Unhealthy.” Molly repeated, turning to look me in the eye. “Yeah, I can’t imagine either of us doing anything, to ourselves or to each other, that you could possibly consider unhealthy.” Never breaking eye contact, she took another gulp from the bottle to prove her point. “You’ve let about five thousand destructive habits fall on me, one of them being yourself. You don’t get to act all high and mighty now.”
“Then why give me what I want? If this all… if all this means nothing.” I replied, hating every word coming out of my mouth, realizing it was truth.
“Because I want it too.” Molly replied plainly. “Plus, it’s not like I completely loathe being around you. You’re kinda scummy, and not a good friend. But you have… good friend qualities.”
“I’m trying to change for you.” I replied in a protest.
“Don’t.” she simply replied. “Don’t change for me. Change if you really want to.”
“So if you weren’t a factor, it wouldn’t matter to you if I still was old Aaron?” I asked, trying to prove a point.
“You’re taking sexual advantage of a vulnerable girl all because she thinks she wants it. I’m not sure if I believe you’re not old Aaron, you’re just kinder about it and actually asking if I want it now. And of course I think I want it.” She took another gulp then grimaced, looking at the bottle. “I think this stuff is hitting me harder now. Maybe I should be alone for this.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind. I want to be here for you and help you through this.” I replied, reaching to grab her hold to hold it.
She pulled her hand away. “No, I’m serious. I should be alone right now. Please leave.”
I sighed. “You sure that’s what you want?”
“Yes.” she replied, not looking up at me.
“Okay. I’m here for you anytime if you need it. I don’t care how drunk you are.” I replied as warmly as I could.
People say stupid things in fits of desperation sometimes. As I walked away from Molly, I could feel her falling between my fingers like sand. I turned back to her, to see her taking another drink from the bottle, and once again, the words just flew from my mouth.
“I love you.”
She stopped drinking abruptly and just stared at me. I thought it was going to be like a movie where I just bolted afterwards, but I held my ground.
“I love you. You don’t have to say it back. I don’t think you feel it back. And I don’t mean in the, ‘I love you, we’re meant to be’ way. And I’m sorry I fucked up and still am weak today, but we’re both weak. We’re both taking advantage of weakness, I never mean to take advantage of you. We’re just… this situation sucks. But I just want it to be better, and I just want to see you smile. In that way, as a friend, I love you.”
Molly stared back at me for a while, her expression unchanging. I sighed. “Do you wanna say something, or should I leave now?”
Molly held up a finger in a gesture to get me to wait there. Eventually she said, “I wanna say it back, but I just can’t.”
“You know what? I’ll take that.” I replied, shrugging. “Have a good day, Molly.”
“Bye, Aaron. Thanks.” she replied as I shut the door.
“And then she said, ‘thanks.’ I don’t get what that means.” I concluded.
“I see.” Mira, a social worker for the school, replied calmly while nodding. She wasn’t a full psychologist, so I couldn’t call her Doctor, even though I tried to insist on it when I first met her. But thanks to the university, her services were free to me, so I took what I could get.
“So what do you think?” I asked her.
“This was a lot for one story, Aaron.” she let me know in that trademark calm tone all workers of this sort seemed to master. “It’s good that you’re considering her feelings, and equally as good that you’re self-aware that a continued sexual relationship isn’t healthy for you two.”
“Big heaping load of good that self-awareness does, though.” I replied, blowing a raspberry. “After a while one of us gets weak and asks the other for sex. And if the other says yes every time, neither of us wants to stop.”
“Then what’s the solution there?” Mira asked me.
“Not saying yes. I get that. But it’s like her with the alcohol. I kind of can’t not do it.” I paused. “Do you think I’m addicted to sex?”
“Physical sexual addiction takes a lot of forms, but based on what you’ve told me, I wouldn’t say it’s the sex you’re addicted to.” Mira replied, looking over her notes.
“It’s sex with her specifically?” I asked.
“Getting that validation from her.” she clarified. “She still means a lot to you. You told her you loved her when you wouldn’t have normally, all because you had a fear of losing her. In a way, your sexual relationship is continuing for the same reason – she is angry at what you did and you feel that without giving her sexual pleasure, you can’t offer her anything and she’ll move on from you.”
“Well- I mean- yeah.” I conceded, slumping down into the chair.
“Do you have any other sexual partners right now?” she asked me, clicking her pen.
“Do you think that’s coincidence or due to personal choices?”
“Honestly, could be either.” I replied. “I don’t know what would happen if another opportunity was right in front of me. I mean, I’m used to being… well, being a fuckboy.”
Mira gave a soft laugh. “Promiscuous.” she corrected me, looking to me for approval before writing anything. I lazily nodded, and she wrote a little more down. “And that seems to go with the natural charisma you have.”
“I don’t know about that.” I almost bashfully replied, looking away.
“When we first met, a lot of the language you used with me could easily have been construed as flirting.” Mira informed me, no doubt looking straight into my eyes. “It was only when we started prying into your life that you adopted a more casual tone with me.”
“Shit, really?” I replied, sitting up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“I know.” she nodded. “It seems like your normal personality. It makes sense that you’re promiscuous. You have a natural way with talking to people, with a high sex drive, and you’re in an institution surrounded by hormonal young adults.” She scribbled a few notes down. “It’s not an inherently bad thing, but it’s good to be aware of it.”
“Oh hell yeah.” I replied without hesitation. “It’s always good to be self-aware. If I was self-aware a few months back, none of this would have happened.”
“Well, it happened.” Mira replied. “You can’t change the past.”
“No, but I can change the future, and that’s why I’m here.” I replied with confidence, looking her in the eyes again. “So, what do I do?”
She chuckled uncomfortably. “I can’t tell you that.” she replied tenderly. “As much as you’ve told me, I don’t know the full story. I’ve never met Jenny myself.”
Jenny. Not Molly. I figured if nothing else, discretion would be appreciated, so once again I swapped some names around.
“We both know that your actions in the past were not okay, and you’re here because Jenny alluded that your behavior hasn’t improved and you want to change that.”
“Correct.” I nodded.
“From what it sounds like, there are two options here. The one I recommend is that you and Jenny take some space away from each other. Allow yourselves to grow as individuals. It sounds like you both are vulnerable and unstable. I understand you think being around each other helps, but sometimes people change and sometimes the best of friends can be unhealthy for each other at a certain point in their lives. It’s okay to acknowledge that right now, it’s not healthy for Jenny to be in your life or for her to be in yours, and that you need some time apart. You might reconnect down the road, but that’ll depend on who you and Jenny become, as individuals. It may happen, it may not. If it doesn’t, I’m sorry, but it’s probably for the best, given what I understand from your story.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “What’s the second option?” I asked.
She gave a low laugh. “I thought you might say that.” she replied. “Option number two is to find another way to get your mutual validation from each other. Support each other in healthy ways and allow your friendship to grow from that.”
“Basically no sex with each other.” I nodded.
“Not necessarily.” She raised a finger. “Nothing that makes things worse for either party or your relationship. If you start doing things only she likes just to get her to like you more, that’s also unhealthy, and unsustainable.”
“You underestimate my patience.” I joked.
She gave a quick pity-laugh. “Find mutual hobbies that don’t include addictive qualities. See if you want these activities to include only you two, or if you’d feel more comfortable in group environments with mutual friends. There’s a lot of variables, but we can both conclude that sex between you two feels cheap and hollow for you, and you think it makes Jenny dislike you more over time.”
“Even though she asks for it.”
“It’s possible she knows what she wants as little as you do. Maybe she doesn’t want sex at all and is sexually confused right now. If she realizes after she has it that she didn’t want it…”
“…she’d blame the guy that asked her to have it, or even the guy that said yes to having it.” I realized.
“Something like that. Sex isn’t a solo activity. You two can share the good feelings, but if it’s associated with bad feelings, you two share that too.” She shuffled her notes. “Given what you did to her in the past, I can definitely conclude that if she isn’t sure you haven’t changed, you should absolutely stop having sex with her.”
“Yeah, I’ll try. Fair warning, we’re both weak.” I tried to joke.
Mira didn’t budge. “I can’t make you stop. Only you can. But you know it’s the right thing to do.”
“Yeah, true enough.” I nodded, looking out the window pensively.
Mira glanced at our watch. “I’m afraid our time is up.” she told me, a look of care on her face. I appreciated that, but there wasn’t a way in hell I was going to let her know that. She got up, then quickly sat back down. “Before we go, and I’m sorry we can’t spend more time on this… you indicated on your sheet you were having suicidal thoughts.”
I continued looking out the window, not wanting to give up the facade of looking like I didn’t care. “Hm? Oh, yeah. Yup.”
“Have you made any attempts?”
“Nah, just thoughts.” I answered lazily. “Like, ‘hey, wouldn’t it just solve everything if I didn’t exist? Maybe I should do that.’ But I haven’t actually tried anything.”
“For the record, suicide would make things worse, not better, not just for your case, but for Jenny’s too. If she still wants to be your friend, your suicide would emotionally devastate her, and there are always better options.” she told me seriously. “Do you think you’ll start making attempts anytime soon?” she asked, following up.
I shrugged. “No. Just something I thought I should include on the sheet, just to be honest. It doesn’t really bug me.”
Mira was silent for a few seconds. “When I brought up the subject, your body language changed.” she informed me. “You folded your arms and closed your legs inwards. Your shoulders hunched up a bit, and your brow furrowed. It’s okay to not feel okay about these kinds of things.”
“Okay.” I replied simply, not wanting to think about what she said.
“So you’re not thinking of attempting?” she asked me again.
“No. I promise. It’s just a thought. It’s why I’m here. We’re gonna work towards making sure it just stays a thought, right?”
“We’re going to work towards making you feel better, and making Jenny feel better, yes.” Mira responded. “Are you still okay with next week?”
“Tuesday? Yeah, I’ll see you then.” I told her, looking back to her eyes in order to smile at her. We exchanged a few more words, then I left.
Once I was out of the building, I sighed, then texted Chris to let him know the session was over. Chris was really going above and beyond for us, although I think he was just glad to know that the whole ‘sexual abuser and victim living together’ situation was unwinding and becoming easier for his empathetic ass to deal with. Within a few minutes, he showed up, and promptly danced out of the car, albeit with concern in his step.
“Hey.” he began, walking up to me. “You okay, sweetie?”
“Who me?” I replied casually and shrugged. “Yeah, it was no biggie. We just talked a bit. The weird thing about this school is-”
I couldn’t finish the sentence. As much as I tried to hide it, I couldn’t stop what was happening. I started bawling immediately, full-out crying, and Chris instantly scooped me up in a hug and started patting my back as I cried on him, crying too hard to even form any kind of sentence. Mira was right, this situation was too much, and we had to do something to fix this – due date, yesterday. I was going to try my hardest to fix things. That being said, even though deep down I knew that cutting Molly off from me was the wisest thing, I just couldn’t do that. It would hurt too much. There had to be a better way.
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