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It started innocently enough. When we all went to college and saw our old, awkward professor, we figured we knew what seminars were going to be like. But it turned out we only had Dr. Skarja for lecture – in seminars, we had a TA. And our TA, Ryan, was a complete hottie.

It wasn’t clear if the guy even knew he was hot. Honestly, in terms of looks, the guy was around a 7/10 – maybe an 8/10 on a good day. However, a few seminars in, it was abundantly clear the guy had what Tristan next to me would call “serious rizz.” Ryan was some kind of new age hippie – his hair wasn’t long, but longer than what you’d expect from a guy, cascading down to his shoulders in brown beautiful waves. He always had at least three necklaces on. He had deep dark eyes you could get lost in, but more than that, he just carried himself around the room with this confidence. It helped that he was totally low-key, constantly making jokes not at us, but with us.

He wouldn’t dress fancy or anything – just a t-shirt with some band on it, hugging his impressive chest and biceps. He definitely used his time at the campus gym well. He also brought his energy wherever he went, his smile contagious, his laugh reassuring.

He’d blush a little when we told him it was the only seminar we were looking forward to going to. “C’mon,” he told us. “All you’re saying is your other classes suck.” While a few students would agree and laugh, the bolder ones would tell him that he just made coming to seminars enjoyable. His blush would only deepen. 

Sometimes he would tell us to bring our laptops to seminar, then end a little early and tell us to write down a little outline for our upcoming essay or something. Those moments were my favorite – inevitably, a student, one of the girls, would raise her hand and he’d walk over to where she was and peer over her shoulder.

You could smell him from there. He smelled like a mix of some quirky dollarstore cologne – how adorable – and pure pheromones. You could inhale his scent for the rest of your life and be set for life. You could die happy knowing you had everything you needed. He also was completely unaware of his effect – he’d lean in close, reading the screen and pay attention to nothing but the work. He’d never talk about anything but that, but he was so courteous, so human about how he did it.

I saw my friend Ash raise her hand once, and he walked over next to me and started looking over her computer. He moved his lips as he read the words, nodding.

“Okay, what I love about this is how it begins,” he began. “Beginning an essay on writing rhetoric with looking at it from a non-writing perspective – like, maybe some professor would go ‘um actually’ and say you need an academic definition, but it actually super works here,” he gushed. He was so passionate about what he did. “Then, what’s the plan here, it shifts into movies then stories?”

Ash nodded diligently. “Um, yeah.” She was nervous.

“Okay, so, to be honest, you don’t even need the movies part, in my opinion,” he replied. “Like, just go straight into it, you know? Hit them with what writing means to you as a non-writer, then bam, right into the writing. It already segues so well, you don’t even need to buffer it with movies. Am I even using ‘buffer’ correctly…? Enh, whatever.” He leaned in closer. “Yeah, this all looks really good. You just gotta, y’know, tighten it up a lil’ better, but I think if you do, you’re looking at a high mark right there. Make sense?”

Ash blushed, though he couldn’t see from his angle. “Okay, thank you.”

“Great job, Ash.”

That was his staple. His trademark, his calling card. He always said your name after he was done giving you feedback, and he always said it like the name was beautiful to him. With that, he walked back to the desk at the front of our little square of desks and went back to writing something down, occasionally looking up to check if anyone else needed help.

When he did, his eyes locked with mine. I didn’t even realize I was looking at him. A second passed, then, instead of looking away, he raised an eyebrow at me jokingly. The two of us broke out into smiles, then he went back to writing things down.

I normally couldn’t talk to people, especially not teachers. Ryan knew that. I told myself that was why he sometimes made faces at me when he caught me looking. I normally would blush and look away, but something in his eyes made me trust him. I could smile at him. I could keep looking at him without being insecure. It was magic. But… even still, I wanted to work up the confidence to ask him about my outline. To say words out loud at him. Both because I wanted to talk to him, and because I wanted so badly to hear the word “Jessica” escape his mouth. I wonder how pretty he’d make the word sound. I bet he’d be the best at it. I bet no one could make the name sound prettier than him.

***

I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the world – a lot of my friends were kind to me and liked to hype me up, but you don’t major in creative writing because you’re popular and the prettiest girl on the planet. There were times I’d look at other girls, even girls in my own classes, and I couldn’t help comparing myself to them. I kept telling myself I could be prettier, or thinner, or less awkward-looking, or have nicer hair or bigger boobs or something. 

Even so, thanks to being in small classes, whenever a group chat was made on Instagram or even Discord or something, the class involved me. Each time it felt like a privilege. The others wanted me involved. It was weird, because I knew they invited all the other members of a class or seminar group, but it was always… flattering. 

Still, this latest group was different. I could feel my heart rate go way up the moment I realized that I was invited into a very different group chat – most of the girls in my seminar made one all about Ryan. I tried to deny it at first – I told myself it was just about the seminar, like a support group for struggling students or something. But there was no denying what kinds of messages we were sending in that group.

omg, did you see the shirt he wore today?

I swear to god he intentionally chooses the tightest fucking shirts

lmao

you’re so shallow

I am NOT shallow he is just YUMMY

like, if he is not single that will literally break my heart

ok Kylie, go ask him out then

go ask out your teacher

see how that works out

he seems really serious about his job

of COURSE he is, he wants to be a professor and he already has published a book before

OMG he’s a published author too?? 😍 

Etc. I blushed reading the messages – I knew that the other girls in the class probably found him attractive in the back of my mind, but now I was seeing firsthand evidence. I had kind of mixed feelings about it – it was nice that there was a group where I could vent those feelings if they became too much, but I was also kind of bummed that other girls, prettier girls, had the same feelings about him. Plus, they were bolder than me – my chances were probably in the toilet. Still, it was fun to send my own message.

I could get lost in his eyes lol

It was tame, and the stupid ‘lol’ made me sound insecure, but I couldn’t handle saying just ‘I could get lost in his eyes’ and nothing else. It felt too creepy. In fact, my legs and hands moved around nervously until the next message came in.

Right??? and hope this isn’t tmi, but I loooove the way he smells

omg Kylie haha

That was… a thing you just said

I laughed in relief to myself. Not only had my comment gone over well and the heat was on someone else, but someone else even acknowledged the smell thing. This group chat was fun. It was nice to have an outlet. I had a feeling I was going to use this group chat a few more times before the semester was over.

***

“And I mean… I’ll be honest, I am not the biggest fan of Kerouac,” Ryan continued, rubbing his one eye as he talked. “This is where as a TA I’m supposed to say ‘oh but I can see his significance, I hate him but he was important to…’ Nope. Just nope. He sucks.” The class emitted a small giggle. Ryan was never afraid to be opinionated, especially when it came to the class content. He cared so much about the class, and us. “So yeah, we have to read some bullshit, but what can ya do.” He leaned back in his chair and added in a mocking voice, “I am Jake cake. Rake. Write like Blake. What a friggin’ visionary.”

“Okay then Ryan, who’s your favorite poet?” one of the girls asked. I didn’t even need to look to know – it was Kylie. Just as she was over text, she was the boldest in the class, and wasn’t afraid to directly challenge Ryan.

This suited him just fine. He leaned forward and smiled. “Okay, so – when we say – like, my personal favorite, or the most important?”

Kylie shrugged. “Either. Or both.” 

Ryan blew a raspberry cutely, his brown eyes drawing up to the ceiling in thought. “If we’re going most influential, I gotta be boring and go for Shakespeare or something. Except – okay, so this is kind of complicated, but what we know as ‘Shakespeare’ is more like a culmination of a lot of ideas that came during and before the actual guy himself – okay, you could say that about literally any writer but his works were particularly important at galvanizing ideas and themes together in one, like, moment in time, but, like, yeah. It’s like how, I dunno, you need a fire and a lamp to make the light, but he made a really good lamp.” He paused and looked around the room. “Okay, that was poorly worded, I’m sleepy.”

The room laughed with him. He held total control over the room. None of us, especially him, noticed how off-topic we were.

“Plus, it’s like a lamp that stole a lot of fire. Like, the idea of plagiarizing work and putting that under scrutiny is a surprisingly modern invention, and it was a lot more accepted back then, but hoo boy, that guy just nicked anything he found interesting and maybe sometimes changed the names of his characters. Even so, he still put in a lot of work himself into making and presenting these things well, so like, yeah, Shakespeare, all things considered, was the most influential. Maybe I’ll change my answer later, but that’s what my brain thinks of first. But when it comes to my favorite, I’m kinda tied between Wordsworth and Plath.”

“Ooh, Wordsworth,” Kylie replied, putting her arms on the table, leaning in and smiling. “So you’re a romantic.”

The implication went right over Ryan’s head as he shrugged. “I mean, it works! I get some poetry snobs will go, ‘ew! Poetry that rhymes!’ but it works!! It’s the old ABABCC, it just gets me. Plus, it all flows so well. each word goes to the other so seamlessly and it’s like, augh! Yes! Exactly! Y’know?”

One of the boys raised his hand. “So who’s Plath? I’ve never heard of him.”

“I can tell,” Ryan replied immediately with a chuckle. “It’s a her. Sylvia Plath. She was pretty recent, twentieth century, and a lot of her poems were really personal or raw. She wrote about the Nazis, war, atrocities, but also about herself, and her parents, her mental problems… it was all really autobiographical. There’s a lot of repetition in her work that’s like a drum, hammering in the emotion. You read her stuff and have to go stare at a wall for a few minutes. Like…” He chuckled. “You know?”

I smirked. He was such a hippie. He saw my smile and pointed my way. “See? You get it,” he said warmly towards me, with that goofy lil’ grin of his. Part of me felt bad for getting wet to that little grin, but a part of me… really fucking liked it.

***

He’s so passionate, I love when he goes on his little rants haha

Sent. The chat wasn’t really active since last week when the girls made it, and he was all I could think about after seminar ended, so I did what I could to kickstart it. Happily, the rest of the girls took the bait.

imagine him talking like that about you someday, omg

haha get a grip

I cant believe you said that ‘youre a romantic’ thing to him today

yea and he IGNORED IT

maybe that’s bc you’re a student and he wants to keep his job lmao

youre in this chat because YOU FIND HIM HOT TOO SYDNEY

im allowed to be a hypocrite

I thought it was going to be the same gush as last time, but then another quiet girl, Janelle, piped up and wrote her first message.

I actually just found out that he dated my older sisters bff a few years ago. Apparently he was a player 👀 

wait, he cheated on her? thats not cool

no no, like

he slept around a lot

I dont think he was unfaithful

he just had a lot of friends with benefits

Instantly, the chat lit up with so many profile bubbles gathered around the “…” bubble. Everyone had something to say. Interestingly, none of the girls were even upset by the idea of him not settling down with one girl. None of them lamented being the one girl to get him. Instead, they just saw opportunity.

would.

this only makes me more interested in him haha

I’m not trying to date my teacher but if he kept me after class and called me his good girl I would MELT

this chat is getting way too horny, I’m going to go get food

yea seriously Kylie, behave

I’m a good girl 😇 

Whatevs. we’re all adults here, it’s not like it’s illegal to find your TA hot

ummmm it is if you’re a first year

we’re all third years so it’s fine. You bitches are all just dishonest

Okay fine. Yes I totally want him too

I turned pink. I don’t know what possessed me to write that. Maybe I was just encouraged by Kylie’s boldness and wanted to have my own turn. What I didn’t realize was that it didn’t take one break of the dam to trigger the flood – it took two. With Kylie being horny on main, everyone could laugh at her and tell her to calm down. But with two girls doing it…

okay FINE, ME TOO

I mean, you’re saying what we’re all thinking

THANK YOU. It’s not like it’s going to happen so what’s the hamr in talking about it

hamr

hamr

Sydney changed Kylie’s nickname to “hamr”.

omg STOP

It was like a big game of chicken. None of the girls, except Kylie, wanted to admit how horny they clearly were for Ryan. So as soon as any of us admitted, even for a second, that they were, the chat would just devolve into being horny, but in this weird, “we’re all just kidding… right?” way about it. And obviously, none of us were kidding.

***

“So, use the rest of the time this seminar to just work on your outlines,” Ryan instructed. “And remember, it’s a personal essay. It’s fine if you don’t want to cite any sources, it’s fine if you want to say ‘I’ in the essay and give opinions, and it’s fine if you want to get a little personal. In fact, insofar as you’re comfortable enough, get personal! This essay is all about you and how the subject matter relates to you. If you have any questions, I’ll be here.” With that, he opened his laptop and started writing, answering some emails or something.

Most of us probably started working on our outlines. Some people started checking their social media or something, and of course, when that happened, inevitably…

swoon.

…Kylie would message the group. For the last few days, the chat had covertly been abuzz with different messages about Ryan. Some days they were descriptive, and some days all that was needed was a single word. Thanks to Kylie’s persistence and openness, a few of the other girls came out of their shells, so I guess Ryan was right. Being personal helped.

ngl I was thinking of emailing him and pretending to want career advice or something and seeing if we could just talk

I blushed and looked beside me, giving a glance to the once-silent Ash. She blushed and shrugged. It seemed like the group had gotten to her too. I felt myself getting wetter. He had such a hold over all of us and didn’t even know it. 

Some of the girls had the conversation open on their phones or tablets or laptops, and occasionally looked around the room at the other girls in the chat, which at this point was every girl but one in the class. It was kind of hilarious how we were all proving the stereotype right by being in a writing class and being chronically single. We’d occasionally bashfully smile at one another as we locked eyes, as if we all shared this shameful secret or something.

omg that does sound fun, connecting with him outside of the classroom

isn’t that inappropriate??

nah. Our department is small, teachers and students are basically on the same level across the board

I mean, we literally call David ‘Daivd’ and not ‘Dr Skarja’

Daivd

daivd

Ashley changed Sydney’s nickname to “Daivd”.

yeah ok

btw i did some research on ryan and

guess what

wow, we’re stalking him now

I WANNA KNOW

so

it turns out

maya has got another ta named maddie for her seminar

and she and ryan used to be a thing??

I mean, if its cool for him to do it with his coworkers 😉 

were they dating, or was it…?

I dunno

Suddenly, Kylie’s hand shot into the air. Ryan quickly noticed and started to get up, grunting, “Yup, one sec.”

“Oh no, it’s not about my outline, I just have a question,” Kylie replied. 

“Oh, okay,” Ryan replied, sitting back down.

“So, I have another TA for a different class, her name is Maddie,” Kylie lied. “Apparently, she knows you?”

“Oh, Maddie Wilkinson? Yeah, I know her, she’s great,” Ryan replied with a smile.

Kylie paused. “Like, stop me if this is too personal or whatever, but did you two used to… date?”

Ryan gave her a weird look, albeit coupled with a smile. “Uh, no, that’s not too personal,” he replied, “but no, we didn’t. We were just friends.”

“Really? It really seemed like there was…” Kylie smirked knowingly at Ryan. “…y’know?”

Wow, she was bold. Ryan took the situation well, knowing all eyes were on him, diffusing the hot tension with a simple shrug. “Things can seem like things all the time,” he replied. “Maddie and I were never dating. We were close, but, y’know, that’s it.”

“Close, huh?” Kylie repeated.

Ryan chuckled. “I’m not going to elaborate on that,” he informed her with a humorous tone. “That would be going too personal. This isn’t a Gossip about Ryan seminar, how’s that outline coming?” The entire time, he had a joking tone, letting us know he wasn’t offended one bit. 

“I just… I dunno, she can be a bit overbearing sometimes, you know?” Kylie kept going. Kept lying. “I just wanted to know if that was your experience with her too.”

Ryan shrugged, rolling his shoulders. Without realizing it, he was showing off how well-defined they were. “Nope. Nothing but nice things to say about her. She might just be stressed, I know this year is pretty hard on her.”

Kylie nodded and replied, “Fair enough,” and immediately, half of the room went to their devices.

ok so what was the point of that kylie

that was so bold

they were definitely fwbs lmao

NO you dont get it!! 

did you see how I gave ryan the opportunity to talk shit on another girl hes clearly been with

and he didnt say shit??

what a green flag

okay, that’s actually a good point

yeah all it took was lying about a girl you never met

you need to switch classes kylie lmao

I think he can definitely tell at least kylie has a crush on him now

GOOD.

maybe he’ll actually do something about it

ok so i thought we said the whole point of this was that nothing was going to happen

so theres no harm in talking about it

hamr*

so were you lying?

or maybe she changed her mind and now shes okay with it

None of the girls typed for a little bit. Kylie could feel a lot of the eyes on the room on her, and calmly looked forward and started typing on her computer. The three dots on the chat screen lit up next to her profile. Seconds felt like minutes. I expected her to say no, but I wanted her to say yes.

Im not just okay with it.

Im going to make it happen.

One or two girls gasped, and one turned pink. Ryan finally noticed something was up on everyone’s phones and rolled his eyes. “Okay, sharing memes is fun and all, but you do need to finish those outlines, and this is the only time I’m available to help you with it, unless you need to book my office hours. So use your time well, okay?”

Kylie raised her hand again. “Actually, yeah, can I talk with you about my outline? But, um, it’s kind of personal, so could I book some time with you?”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, totally. Does tomorrow at…” He looked at his screen. “1:30 work for you? PM, obviously.”

“Uh, totally, thanks,” Kylie replied with a beaming smile. The rest of the room went back to their devices.

YOU ARE GOING TO GET EXPELLED I STG

its not like shes going to lock the door and start kissing him lol calm down

shes obviously trying to talk to him but like

I feel like youre not that weird about it

Hell no, Im gonna be respectful about it, of course

Im not stupid

Im not going to do something until he makes the first move

I read that last message from Sydney and the cogs started turning. My heart started beating faster. I realized what the best play was. Ryan would have never ever made the first move. Some of the things the students said were obvious as all hell and he still didn’t notice. So, suppose a girl actually made the first move. Suppose the girl he least suspected got to know him a little better and played her cards right.

Nearly shaking with nervousness, I raised my hand. Ryan saw it, realized its source, and hesitated. I never even said “here” when he called my name for attendance; I just waved. “Um, yeah, Jessica?” he asked, a little off guard.

“Um,” I began. “Yeah, could I do the same thing? I have an idea for my outline, but I…” I blushed, looking around the room.

Ryan sensed my unease at talking in public and took it from there. “Uh, yeah, totally. My next availability tomorrow is… 4pm. Does that work?”

I nodded and turned back to my computer. You could practically hear the vibrating in the room with how many messages were flooding the chat.

OH SHIIIIIIIT

KYLIE YOU GOT COMPETITION

calm down you idiots, its jessica

she’s not trying anything

she was the second one to admit she wanted him

are we all just going to ask him for office hours now

lmao “no, I’m spartacus”

A few of the girls giggled. Ryan looked at the room inquisitively and said nothing, though he did lock eyes with me again, this time making a comical shrugging motion. I laughed.

***

Maya Schroeder has entered the chat.

Okay so

I tried asking Maddie at a party pretending I heard they were a couple

And she said they weren’t a couple, and told me to keep it a secret (oops) but like

They fucked?? A lot????

ATTA BOY RYAN

this chat is so cursed lmao

so they were fwbs?

Haha yupppp

apparently he’s hung

duh

biggest case of big dick energy on the planet

sorry

hold on

you were at a party with your fucking TA???

yup

sorry I’m popular? 😉 

they still fool around from time to time

WHY IS A TA TELLING YOU THIS

morel ike ‘why arent more TAs like this’

YES OK THANK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION KYLIE

Daivd changed hamr’s nickname to “morel ike”

Even if the chat could be a bit juvenile at times, it was definitely getting bolder, and hornier. I loved it. I couldn’t not sneak a hand into my jeans and rub circles around my clit while reading those messages as they came in. I was so glad the news hit while I was at home and not in class.

I had a lot of time to think about it, and I decided I liked it. I liked how many of the girls were into Ryan. I liked how we were just horny for him with no shame. And I loved how we fed each others’ obsessions. 

Almost all of the girls in his seminar knew he had a habit of fucking around. They knew he was hung, too. And he was either oblivious to it or the best actor on the planet. Fuck… both of those scenarios were hot. I rubbed faster, panting out loud, imagining Ryan being fully aware of what he was doing and just using his seminar to tease us. Using his seminar like he would use us…

I shuddered, giving myself a silent orgasm. Even with my secret horny side, I didn’t want to weird out my housemates, and the walls were thin. Plus, my housemates didn’t know how horny I was. But these girls… I mean, they were pretty honest with each other, even if that honestness sometimes came in the form of being honestly judgmental. I could handle being honestly judged, and I wanted to stir the pot a little more.

tbh I have an idea

My cheeks burned. I bit my lower lip. It was such a naughty idea, yet one where we could still have plausible deniability.

we’re listening

yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

does this have to do with your upcoming appointment jessica 🤔 

I closed my eyes and slowly breathed out, my heartbeat quickening again. This was addicting. I didn’t know I could be this bold about anything, and yet, here I was, typing out my messages.

so

we were given a personal essay assignment. Ryan outright encouraged us to make it as personal as possible. What if we… test that, and see how it lands with him. We won’t make our essays x-rated or anything, but just include some sexual innuendos here and there. Enough to make him notice something. But if we all do it, he can’t just meet with one of us and tell that person to stop it or something. It could be fun to watch him squirm.

I waited, holding my breath when I watched the first person reply. It helped that it was Ash. I could trust her.

wtf

this has gone from silly to… I think that’s literally sexual harassment

I am not doing that, and no one else should do that either. I think we seriously need to touch grass or something because this is getting creepy.

This chat has gone too far and I think we should all stop and really think about what we’re doing.

Ashley Hildebrand has left the chat.

My heart sank. I thought this was fine. It seemed to all be normal and make sense in my head. Was it really all that bad? The profile pictures of girls that had read it were piling up, and no one said anything for… what felt like hours. When I checked the clock, seven minutes had gone by since Ash left. Eventually, a speech bubble formed. Sydney.

talk about an overreaction

it’s not “sexual harassment” to make a few sex jokes in your essay

like ???

Slowly, other girls gave their two cents too.

yeah tbh that was kinda a cunt move. We already talk so openly in seminar

you know what? Ill do it. I think it sounds both sexy and funny

yea, we just gotta be tasteful about it

just wait until we find out Kylie writes a sex story about her fucking Ryan and just submits that

I bet she would even write the bullshit kind where it takes like three thousand words before you even get to the sex

its called “buildup” Janelle

it’s called “I’m reading this to get off, not to get updates on fifteen different backstories, literally just read a normal book”

can normal books not be sexy 🤔

sex stories arent literature

cry about it

gatekeeping alertttt

HEY STOP BULLYING ME IM NOT GOING TO WRITE A SEX STORY

anyway, fuck yes. but be SUBTLE. just like a passing reference to something sexual and move on like you didnt just say that

Im jealous haha. I wish I was in the class, Id love to write a personal essay on like my first time and have ryan read it 😆 

switch into the class maya! or just write it anyway and slip it under his door 😏 

omg were going to make ryan hard reading our essays

I bet its soooo noticeable when hes hard 😳 is that why he wears jeans and not sweats

he has to wear sweats to the gym

OKAY WE NEED TO HAND IN OUR ESSAYS ON A GYM DAY AND MAKE HIM READ IT ON THE SPOT

lmao Kylie calm down

Under any other circumstances, I’d be both elated and turned on with how receptive the other girls were to my suggestion, but I couldn’t take my mind off of Ash and her reaction. Really quickly, I switched chats to a private one with her, and sent her a message.

Hey, are we okay? I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m really sorry, I was just trying to be part of the group.

Luckily for me, she responded pretty quickly.

Yeah, we’re fine. I’m not angry with you, but idk, it just feels a bit far, you know? It’s fine to joke around and point out that he’s hot, but we shouldn’t actually jeopardize our place in the class or his job. Plus it is kind of creepy. You can see that, right?

No.

yeah, totally. 

So, how did the other girls react? I really hope they agreed with me.

I bit my lip, thinking about the best play to make here. Eventually, I went with my gut.

Kylie was… kylie, lmao

I think the rest of the girls agree tho. They’re not leaving the chat but it’s not like we’re starting anything

As I sent that, I saw on the top of my screen that Kylie basically announced she was going to play with herself thinking of Ryan. She worded it playfully enough that the other girls just laughed her off instead of being weirded out. I bit my lip and popped open my fly. It was like this burgeoning sex cult, with Ryan as our idol. None of us would have dreamt of talking like this when we started the chat, yet here we were, slowly corrupting each other thinking of our hot, jacked, hung, oblivious TA. It was the hottest thing in the world.

***

“Yeah, come on in,” Ryan encouraged me. “There is a class going on down the hall, though, so you should probably close the door.”

My heart started beating even faster than it already was. I was alone in a closed-off room with Ryan. I diligently closed the door, then sat down at the chair opposite him, not saying a word. Ryan finished some sentence he was writing and then closed the window on his computer.

“Okay, so,” he began, spinning in his swivel chair to face me. “Upfront, if you don’t feel like talking, at any time, you can just point to what you want on the outline or something. I get these kind of meetings can seem… you know, stern, so I wanna make this atmosphere as open as it can be.”

I gave a small smile, though my internal one was huge. Here I was, thinking about Ryan’s dick and how I finally was alone in a room with him, and here he was, thinking about my anxiety and how he could make me feel welcome. It was both so unfortunate and a blessing he was apparently not interested in romance. Unfortunate because if he wanted to, he could make any girl (preferably me) so happy someday. A blessing because any girl that had him would never leave his side, and I wouldn’t get another chance again. 

“It’s, uh, it’s okay,” I nervously managed to say before giving an uncomfortable giggle. Ryan nodded sympathetically as I opened my laptop, loading my outline for him. “So, I have an outline here, and I tried to make it personal to me, like you said, but I’m kind of finding it difficult to find a conclusion… I mean, does it make a good enough point?”

Ryan shrugged. “I dunno, but that’s half the fun of these things. Lemme take a look-see. If I may…” He motioned to my laptop and I passed it to him. His eyes looked over the outline, his lips moving slowly as he read. He started with a stern-looking, concentrated expression, then slowly, his eyebrows moved back up to their normal position. Then, one of the two eyebrows kept going. When he finished, he stared straight ahead and shook his head before looking at me.

“Wow. You took the challenge of making it personal to you and just said ‘Bet,’ huh?” He smirked, then lowered one eyebrow at me. His smile broadened and he leaned in. “It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it?” he asked in a friendly voice, like we were sharing a joke.

I giggled, but still shifted in my seat. “If it’s inappropriate, I can…” I trailed off.

“Nah, it’s totally fine. Just as long as you know it’s university policy to have a copy of all assignments in the last four or so years in their records. They’ll obviously never do anything with it, but you know, it’s just information policy.” He shrugged. “If you can believe it, Jessica, I’ve been around those themes before, and I think that…” He paused, choosing his next words carefully. “Themes like that can be seen as inappropriate or not safe for work by some, but… this department understands that when we ask for passion in writing, it can take many forms. Hell, some psych classes will directly ask their students to look at porn. Not for its, uh, intended use, but you know.”

He was so frustratingly professional. Speaking of porn, this should have been the time when a weaker-willed guy would just throw me against his desk and have his way with me. It was clear Ryan was going to do no such thing. 

“The theme is fine. Actually, if you wanted solid critique, here, in paragraph three, you kind of hop back and forth between actual events and what’s in your head. I get that you’re trying to go for a chronological order, but is there a better way to organize it…? I bet there is. If you can find that sweet spot, the essay will flow way better.”

Ryan was proving to be a tough egg to crack. This was already the most confident thing I’d ever done in my life, and here he was, critiquing it as if I wasn’t trying to make myself irresistible to him. I went a little beyond maybe some subtle innuendos in my essay; after all, I wanted to stand out in the crowd. The moment his shell cracked, I wanted to be the one he desired the most. As the girls astutely observed, Kylie had some serious competition.

***

Even though Ryan had come to the seminar with his signature smile, it took on a more puzzled look. When he sat down, he didn’t say anything for a bit. “So I, uh, marked all your essays here…” He paused, and looked up at us. “There were a few… commonalities amongst your essays. A few of you wrote about the same kind of thing, if you get me. A few themes kept popping up over and over, and it was interesting to see that a lot of you picked the same themes. If you know, you know.” He started handing out marked essays to the students.

“What kinds of themes?” One of the boys asked.

Ryan looked him in the eyes and smiled mischievously. “Hey Nik, these are personal essays,” he reasoned. “Some of us wrote about things that were pretty private to them. Close stories and all that. I wouldn’t want to give it away by saying what the themes were out loud. If everyone wrote about how they wish their mothers would show them more affection, me pointing it out would out half the class.”

“So we can guess it wasn’t about mothers then, right?” Kylie pointed out teasingly. Ryan only gave her a smile in response that I could only deduce was a warning smile. As he did, he passed her essay back to her. She started reading the notes, her face falling as she did. A few messages hit the chat.

he’s perfect in every other way, why does he have to be such a hard markerrr

tbh? This just makes him more attractive to me. He’s a tough man to please

lmao, the one time Kylie is silent in this chat

someone got a bad grade

haha sucks to be you, Maddie gave me a 92 on my personal essay and I wrote it the night before it was due

can we kick maya from this chat pls? shes not even in this seminar

ooh, sour grapes 😏 

As the girls chatted, I got my essay back. I flipped through it a few times, and saw I got an 83. Not terrible, especially for Ryan’s standards. He wrote a few things on the sides of my essay in red pen – a few notes on flow here and there, but my cheeks burned when I saw what he wrote next to one of my, shall I say, more personal points of the essay.

Stop enjoying this so much, this is supposed to be a school assignment 😉

I held my breath to make sure my breathing didn’t alert the class. Ryan wrote that. With a drawn winky face and everything. My cheeks burned as I looked back at him, but he was too busy handing more essays around the desks. I read over the note a few more times, then read over every other comment he left – they were all normal. As always, it was just a one-off thing with Ryan. Nothing concrete enough to seem like an attempt. And I bet he would keep it that way. As slutty as he apparently could be behind the scenes, and as casual as he was, he still kept it professional. As annoying as that was.

Did I have enough guts to make the first move? I didn’t know about that, but I knew I should at least keep the momentum going. I whipped out my phone and started an email to Ryan, asking him if he had time to meet with me about my essay’s mark this week. When I hit send, his computer loudly dinged, and I turned pink and looked down. He handed out the last of his essays, then mumbled, “One sec, this could be important…” He went to his computer and clicked something, then gave a puzzled look at his screen. He quickly typed out something, then hit the enter key with a stroke as if he finished penning a masterpiece.

I looked at my email inbox. Sure enough, there was an email from Ryan. 

Yeah, asking in person is so boring, isn’t it? Sure, I think I’m free tomorrow at 3. I’ll be in my office. Ryan

Kylie couldn’t resist getting a few more words in. “So, was it important?”

He gave her a patient smile. “Yes,” he said simply. “Okay, so for today’s seminar…”

***

“Hey, how’s it going, Jessica?” he warmly yet casually greeted me as he saw me enter his office. “Please, find a seat. You’re saving me from having to work on my bullshit thesis anyway.”

I giggled and sat down, sitting at the desk with him. “Thanks for always finding time for me,” I told him.

He shrugged. “Thanks for caring about your work so much, you make my job worth it,” he told me with that smile of his. “So…?”

I needed to play this cool. That was the game we were playing, since he got to make the rules. “To be honest, I just wanted to know how I could improve my style for the future,” I told him, just how I rehearsed. “I thought we could maybe go over each note you gave, maybe talk about it, and…”

Ryan listened well after I trailed off. He seemed to hate interrupting people. “Yeah, sure,” he replied diplomatically. “So, I remember your essay having a pretty strong opening, actually. I like how…”

He talked for a little bit about the strengths and weaknesses of my writing, all while I waited for the moment he’d come upon that one note. I bet he knew the one. The one that ended with a winky face he drew. And sure enough…

He flipped the page and saw what he wrote, laughing in slight discomfort. “Okay, so this note, obviously, doesn’t really have a lot to do with your writing,” he quickly said. “We can move past it if you want.”

“No, it’s okay,” I insisted. “What did you mean by it?”

Ryan’s look turned to slight worry. “Oh, I was just kidding around,” he immediately explained. “You know, I just wanted to lighten the mood a little. I understand it can be a little difficult to talk to your TA about this kind of stuff, even indirectly…” He trailed off and his wrist made a circular motion in the ‘et cetera’ way. “I hope it wasn’t going too far or anything.”

“Oh no!!” I blurted out. “Definitely not. In fact, I appreciated how you included that. I felt kind of… silly writing this essay about that in particular.” We both fell quiet. I decided to make my move. “Was… was that the common theme of this assignment? You know… intimacy?”

Ryan’s tongue moved around in his mouth and he sighed, looking around his office. “If you want me to be completely honest… let’s just say ‘maybe,'” he replied. “In case you’re worried, yours was not the most explicit.”

I smiled knowingly, like we were sharing a joke. “Kylie’s was,” I replied, voice full of confidence.

Ryan gave an ‘uh-huh’ gesture with his face, then paused and coked his head, his face suddenly in thought. “Well, almost. Two were… shall we say, not safe for work,” he admitted. “Yours was at least tasteful.” He looked at mine for a second, then back at me, then leaned in slightly. “Was this a prank?” he finally asked. “I can’t help but feel like this is too much of a coincidence. This feels pre-planned somehow, like some of the class expected me to freak out or something.”

Again, Ryan was either painfully oblivious or the best actor in the world, if his performance right now was anything to go by. I shrugged. “Maybe the others planned something. I just wanted to be… true to myself. I wanted to really take a risk, you know? You talked about how autobiographical Plath was, I guess that kind of inspired me.”

Ryan leaned back in his chair, still looking at me, marvel on his face. “Wow, look at you! Good memory,” he noted. “That’s quite charming of you, well done.”

I risked a smile. “Charming?” I repeated. 

“Or… polite. Kind? I dunno,” he fumbled. It was finally his turn to blush. I risked a quick look down at his pants – even in his dark jeans, it was clear. He was hard, and he was big. The imprint was snaking down his thigh.

“Are you, maybe, nervous about all of us including that kind of thing in our essays? Like, you’re worried about girls having crushes on you?” I asked. This wasn’t even that bold – if things went south, I could frame myself as asking to prevent it, to be the one girl he could trust.

“I mean… if my students want to date me, they’re gonna be disappointed,” he said with a half-laugh. I internally smiled. It was so easy to get him off-topic about anything, and he didn’t suspect anything was different here. “I’m trying to focus on my work right now. I don’t really do the whole dating thing.”

I smiled. “Kylie’s going to be disappointed.” My smile widened as he chuckled. “You can tell, can’t you?”

“Of course I can, I’m not an idiot.” We laughed. “I mean, crushes happen. They come, they go. Best policy is to ignore that kind of stuff and hope her feelings fade.” Even as he talked, his cock noticeably throbbed in his jeans. “So! Essay. Let’s keep it going.”

“Is she going to have to change seminars?” I asked, concern clouding my voice. “I’d hate to see her go.”

“Naaah, she’s fine,” he replied casually. “Crushes are innocent. It’s not causing a problem for me, and I hope it’s not causing an issue for her. She’s not barred from seminars just because she’s human, right?”

“Sounds like you know what to do in these situations,” I observed.

“It’s my job, right?” he asked warmly.

“Do you have to deal with crushes a lot?” I pressed.

He chuckled. “If my students get crushes on me ‘a lot’ – which I highly doubt – I don’t know about them,” he replied, in a friendly but emphatic way. 

I shook my head with a smile. “Ryan!” I giggled, deciding to put one or two more cards on the table. “You can’t deny that you… I mean… you can be pretty charismatic, you know. You can’t be charismatic and be that unsure about other people and how they feel. Isn’t that part of being a good writer, being interested in people and knowing how they feel?”

“I… well… argh. Point taken,” Ryan conceded, letting his head hang for a moment, his hands on his knees. He raised his head. “But that happens when I’m not a teacher. Teacher hat goes on, intimacy detection function turns off, you know? I got a job to do.”

“Yeah, but you’ll still do stuff with other TAs. I don’t think anyone thinks you were entirely innocent with Maddie,” I replied, my voice getting a little weaker despite my boldness. My heart was now pounding.

“Jessica, come on, this is going down quite the road of topics,” he laughed. “I was telling the truth. Maddie and I never dated.”

“I didn’t say you dated,” I replied in a voice just above a whisper.

He was silent for a bit. “Yeah, I suppose you didn’t, did you?” he asked after a while. “Did she tell you or something?”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s obvious.”

“I suppose it is,” he sighed. His tone was actually kind of… bummed. “So, uh, yes. Outside of my life as a teacher I can be kind of… cavalier. But I try not to let that affect… you know.”

I nodded diligently. “I promise, anything you tell me here, I’ll keep it between us.”

He looked at me. “You promise?” he asked. “I really want to trust you, but I don’t want to regret trusting anyone. All due respect, I love her as a student, but I don’t think I could trust Kylie to keep any secrets I told her.”

“I don’t even talk to people, you know that,” I told him with a nervous giggle.

“And yet here you are, talking to me,” he noted suavely, then looked away. “Sorry, just saying words.”

“Hey, I don’t mind,” I coaxed him. “No judgment. I don’t get to talk about this stuff a lot so this is helping me.”

He chuckled. “Hey, look, appealing to my teacher instincts, good move,” he replied with a quieter voice. “So, yeah, I was… am… cavalier. I do things on and off with Maddie and a few other people. Some people like romance, I like this.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m not really interested in romance either,” I told him. 

“Well, if you put yourself out there, I’m sure some boy or girl or whoever your age would really find you attractive,” he replied diplomatically.

The obvious flirt answer was ‘my own age, huh?’ but I knew if I pressed too much I’d lose it all. “Do you think so?” I asked sullenly. “I feel like I’m not as pretty as… to be honest, as any of the other girls in class. I look at them all and I just think that they’re prettier and would have an easier time finding a guy.”

“Some of them have already been quite busy with guys if their essays are to be believed,” Ryan scoffed with a joking tone, then held up a finger. “But I never said that!” We both laughed. “Anyways, Jessica, somebody is everybody’s type. I totally get looking in the mirror and going, ‘eugh.’ Sometimes I do that too. But I bet you’re really attractive to somebody. Hell, a lot of somebodies. And don’t think of the boys you like as the only one worth prizing in this exchange. If it’s meant to be, it shouldn’t feel like they’re finally accepting you as some kind of consolation prize. You deserve to be desired and prized too. Boys would be equally lucky to have you as you would be to have them. Okay?”

I giggled. “Okay,” I said softly. It felt like this was the furthest we could go today, and plus, I’d definitely earn his trust if I steered us back in the normal direction of this meeting. “Should we get back to the essay?”

He grinned. “Great idea, Jessica,” he told me.

***

can I tmi for a sec?

ooh, jessica got the tea 👀 

hit us with it

so, I went to meet with him about my essay and when we were discussing the sex stuff I could totally see his dick imprint haha

the rumors did not exaggerate.

OMG

hot af 😍 

WAIT did he mention our essays and how they all were like teasing??

I looked at Kylie’s message and thought about it. I was, to my own surprise, really enjoying riling these other girls up and making them more and more horny for Ryan, but if I had any chance with him, he made it clear that I’d ruin that chance if I was a blabbermouth.

no, tbh the talk was pretty professional

you know ryan

he was just professional and… hard. lmao

he can’t not know at this point

maybe its a bad thing?

like, he knows. and hes not acknowledging it.

maybe ash was right, maybe we shouldnt be doing this

??

he’s clearly not uncomfortable

if he was he’d say something

jessica did he say anything about being uncomfortable?

I smirked. Somehow I was their authority now. Kylie was too much of a loose cannon, and the other girls needed someone to follow. I was that someone. 

nope

he seemed as casual as ever

but he was definitely hard

tbh, especially knowing his tendency to be cavalier, i bet he likes it

he just cant say anything out loud about how he likes it

lmao ‘cavalier,’ good word for it

that’s actually really hot. He acts all professional and then goes home and jacks off thinking about us

if only he knew

hed never have to jack off again lmao

He can have me literally anytime

I have 100% thought of him every time I played with myself for the past few weeks

we know kylie lmao

OK but same??

Youre not even in his class maya!!

Yea

so that means

Im not his student 😈😈

oh fuck she’s right

she can totally fuck him!!

No.

I dont care if Im his student

Im going to fuck him first

first one to fuck ryan wins? 😉

ok but whoever gets to fuck ryan first, put in a good word for the rest of us 😤 

I smiled at my handiwork, my other hand down my pants, slowly rubbing my clit. My hand found its way down there more and more frequently lately. I couldn’t help but wonder if Ryan was jacking off more these days too. I hoped he was. And maybe he was thinking of me when he did. After all, he thought Kylie had a romantic crush on him, and she probably did. That meant I was the girl he could trust, and I was the one he was seeing the most often.

***

The girls talked up a big game, but come seminar, they’d be back in their same seats, still as polite, still as innocent. The only person who clearly put in a more visible effort was Kylie.

“Hey Ryan! Hope you had a good reading week. I missed you,” she said sweetly yet as casually as she could, sitting down in her chair.

“It was alright, yeah,” Ryan replied back, just as coolly. I now knew that with Kylie, it didn’t just go over his head. “Hope you had a good one too, Kylie.”

lmao smooth

there’s no way he doesn’t know what youre doing

he’s just not into you, sis

shut UP maya

how many times have YOU seen him this week

While the girls bickered, I emailed Ryan asking if we could meet about the upcoming textual analysis assignment. As always, his laptop made a pinging noise, and he responded immediately, giving me a time and place. I turned my attention back to the chat to see that it had once again turned away from explicit horniness into the Kylie Tantrum Variety Hour. She thought this was her moment. Better luck next time.

***

“Get whatever you want, I’m buying,” Ryan said almost absent-mindedly as he looked over the Subway menu behind the employees. “Jeez, the prices have gone up so much.”

“Are you sure?” I asked gingerly.

“I dragged you here, may as well,” he replied, still staring. “Besides, Peterson pays me a decent amount, so yeah.” 

As soon as I had walked into his office, Ryan declared he was hungry and wanted Subway, so I followed him to my university’s local fast food station. Hey, a free meal is a free meal, right? Plus, he looked so cute when he ordered. He was always needlessly polite with the staff, and tried to get their names and promised to remember them for next time. I could tell why Ryan had such good luck with girls. There was this combination of a naturally flirtatious personality with a genuine enjoyment of being around people that you can’t fake. Ryan liked people, and he liked fucking. He was good at handling both, I bet.

Shortly after getting the sandwiches, we went back to his office and sat back down. “Don’t worry about talking shop just yet,” he told me between bites. “I don’t wanna get any food on either of our computers. So, let’s eat first, and then after that, let’s go over the assignment. Work for you?”

“Yeah, definitely,” I replied. “Thanks for this. It’s really kind.”

“You’re, like, one of the only students that actually bothers to take advantage of my office hours. You’re saving me from boredom,” he admitted. “Plus, I like that you care so much about your writing. I seriously think you have the potential to go far, you know.”

I took a small bite of my sandwich and swallowed before I spoke. “I don’t know about that,” I nervously started. “Sometimes I feel like the only way I’ll make it big is if I marry a famous writer or a publisher or something.”

“Ah. Nepotism,” Ryan said with a nod. “Or… is it still nepotism if it’s by marriage? Enh. And I mean, hey, there are worse fates. When it comes to romance, I think I’m most attracted to talent and like, imagination more than anything physical.”

I couldn’t help but smirk. “But when it comes to friends with benefits, like Maddie-“

“Hey!” We both laughed. “Yes, okay, I can find beauty in a lot of people. People are cool! I don’t think it’s bad to find a lot of people attractive. And for the record, Maddie is a talented person! We’re just not compatible, romantically.” He took another bite. “If you want the honest-to-God truth, I’m kind of complicated and… well, bad, romantically. I’m not a great boyfriend, because it’s really hard to tie me down.”

I gave him a look. “So you have a hard time being monogamous?”

He turned pink. “Oh, uh, no… well, okay, yes, that too, but I’m usually in open relationships, so, uh… yeah. No, no I meant like… I’ll get interested in other stuff and suddenly, five days have passed and I haven’t talked to them. A lot of my former girlfriends got really upset at that.”

I nodded along. “I get that. It’s really easy to get swept up in the cool things life shows you.”

“Exactly!” he replied triumphantly. “So even if a partner was super into me, knowing how I am, that just tells me I’d be setting myself up for disappointment if I did end up dating them.”

I laughed. “Yeah, if somehow you ended up dating Kylie, she’d start wondering if she did something wrong if you didn’t talk to her for six hours.”

Ryan chuckled. “I can’t imagine such a scenario, but I’ll take your word for it.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re so politically correct,” I playfully yet boldly accused. “Challenge time. I’m going to ask you a direct question.”

Ryan, who loved matching playfulness with playfulness in equal measure, put down his sandwich and clapped his hands together, aiming them at me. “Be as direct as you possibly can.”

“Would you date a former student?”

Ryan froze, hands still together. He blinked, then immediately sat back, a hand on his chin. “Huh…” he murmured thoughtfully.

“This conversation never happened,” I coaxed hopefully. “Whatever you say doesn’t leave this room, and I won’t judge you no matter what you say.”

He chuckled. “Jessica, that’s quite a tall order.”

I shrugged. “I mean, I have my own theories, but-“

“I want to hear your theory first,” he challenged me. “If you want me to be open, you gotta earn it.”

I eyed him devilishly. “Then the promise needs to go both ways. You have to promise that this conversation never happened, and you have to promise to not judge me or treat me differently in class.”

Ryan looked at me inquisitively. “For guessing about me…?” He wondered aloud. “Okay, fine. Go.”

I paused, looking at him meaningfully before I began. Here goes. “I think you wouldn’t date a former student, or even a current one…” I trailed off suggestively, finding the confidence to look him in the eye. “…But I bet that if a cute girl that you’re teaching made the first move, you’d think about being friends with benefits with her.”

Ryan didn’t say anything. He stared at me, then at the wall behind me. I watched him get pinker and pinker, knowing I was blushing myself. I wanted to say something more to fill in the silence, but I knew that if I did, we’d just change topics. The silence was putting pressure on him. 

He eventually leaned forward. “Wow. The longer I don’t answer, the worse this looks for me, huh?” he eventually joked. 

I laughed, but kept up my composure. “Not worse,” I corrected him. “I wouldn’t judge you. I wouldn’t mind. It’s actually kind of fascinating.”

Ryan chuckled nervously. I stole a quick glance down to his pants – he was rock hard. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this too much-“

“I don’t mind,” I cut in without sounding too urgent or desperate. Calm. I really rehearsed that voice. I narrowed my eyes. “You’ve thought about it, haven’t you?”

“We shouldn’t-“

“Judgment-free,” I reminded him. 

He gave me a stare and eventually broke out into a smile. “You are so enjoying this,” he finally accused me.

I shrugged innocently.

He nodded slowly, then narrowed his own eyes in turn. “And who would that girl you’re thinking of be?” he asked, turning the tables on me. “Nobody asks something like that and insists that much, without having an ulterior motive. You may have practiced that calm voice well, but it’s clear it’s only a facade. You really wanted to ask me that, and you’ve wanted to for a while.”

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Holy fuck, my heart. I wanted to reply calmly, but eventually broke out into a nervous chuckle. “I, uh… I- I guess you’re right,” I admitted. 

“Ooh, I broke through,” he teased. He had this smug confidence about him now. I’d seen it in microscopic doses before during seminar, but never like this. “So now I’m curious. If we’re going no secrets and no judgment, did you really ever need to see me for your assignments, or was this all so you could lead up to that question?”

I chuckled breathlessly again. “Wow, you’re good, aren’t you?” I attempted to tease back.

“You just challenged the master,” he retorted. “I guess you’re finding that out now, huh?”

“Y-yeah, I guess I am,” I replied with a nervous laugh. “I, uh… Okay, part of it was truly about the assignments.”

“Part of it, huh?” He grinned.

“You’re hot, you dummy,” I blurted out. “You’re hot and girls are attracted to you. I get you knew the whole time that the whole class is into you, but you can’t just act dumb now and act like I decided to do this or whatever. My body is just… reacting.”

“Sorry, rewind,” he replied slowly. “I… I knew about Kylie, but I just figured you out now. What do you mean, the whole class?”

My cheeks burned. I said nothing.

“I see,” he replied, leaning back into his chair. “So if you know too, and you’re not guessing… The sexual innuendos in the essays. You all got together and decided to do that. Maybe even the idea came from you.”

My pussy pulsated. I never wanted to touch myself more. It almost ached with desire. The way he looked at me once he had me all figured out was… overpowering. My pulse beat in my ears.

He eyed the floor and chuckled. “Not bad, Jessica,” he admitted, then looked at the door, then back to me. “No judgment?”

“Y-yeah,” I said in a voice just above a whisper. My throat was getting drier. 

“Yeah, I could maybe be convinced if the girl made the first move,” he admitted with this smug cocky voice that made me gush. “But she’d need to be the type to know that, even if this blew up and we hated each other, we’d have to keep our secret to the grave. It would mean big trouble for both of us if it ever got out.” He paused for effect. “So I know I could never let it happen with a girl like Kylie. She’s clearly too obsessed anyway, it would only hurt or confuse her. I’d need a girl more mature. Someone who’s able to orchestrate her plan well enough that… that I’d be convinced to say the words I just said. You know what I mean?”

I nearly moaned on the spot. “Yeah, I do know what you mean,” I told him in this high, submissive voice.

“Good,” he replied with an assertive tone. He reached into his bag and pulled out an unopened water bottle. “I can hear your voice, your throat is drying up. Trust me, take a drink of this. It’ll help.”

I nodded and agreed instantly. He could have asked me to empty my bank account for him and I would have agreed at that moment. I took a generous gulp, then he took the bottle and took a drink too. He looked at the rim of the bottle. “Oops.”

“What?” I asked nervously. 

“We just swapped spit,” he observed, looking at the rim, and then me. He got up from the chair, and took me by the hand so that I got up too. Soon, we were standing in front of each other, mere inches separating us. He smiled hungrily, almost angrily, brushing some hair out of my face.

“Tell me you want this,” he ordered. 

“I really want this, I want you,” I immediately complied, melting at his touch.

“And you understand this doesn’t mean anything, and that there’s no exclusivity or monogamy. This is just having fun. Right?”

I nodded diligently. “No romance, no weird feelings. Just fooling around.”

He gave a little scoff-laugh, his hands landing at my waist. “Good girl,” he whispered. He closed the distance between us and his lips landed on mine. Ryan grabbed the back of my head as he began kissing me with passion he was hiding until now. I couldn’t stop myself from moaning into the kiss, my own hands moving all over his back, not even knowing what to do but knowing I wanted to do something.

His tongue boldly moved into my mouth, and the feeling of his tongue on mine felt like heaven. Ryan was, of course, an expert kisser. Realizing my own hard-earned lessons from writing – less is more – I stopped moving my hands frantically around and settled for running my hands up his back and pulling his body closer to mine. He responded in kind, his body pressing against mine, his dick imprint fully felt around my stomach. I loved how he was taller than me. He had a good few inches on me, and hopefully would soon have more than a good few inches in me, but in terms of our spiritual energy, he absolutely towered over me.

As he kissed me, his own passion and hormones began to flare up, then run wild. Eventually, he had me against the wall, shamelessly grinding on me, still playing a ruthless game of tonsil hockey with me. I could barely keep up with him, but I loved it. If he wasn’t going to take complete control, knowing I was lost to my hormones, I absolutely would, and since he had more experience, I was all too happy to be his personal plaything for the day.

Still pinning me to the wall and grinding up against me, his mouth came up for air, and he looked at me, panting, his eyes almost tearing up with lust. “How far… did you plan on… going with me?” he asked.

Even deep in the throes of passion, he thought to ask. How considerate. “I want you to fuck me,” I begged. “Please. I need it.” I looked around the room as a precaution. No windows, concrete walls, one door. Ryan followed my gaze and quickly locked it.

“How quiet can you be?” he nearly growled, moving back to me and beginning to kiss my neck. As needy and hormone-fueled as he was, he wasn’t stupid, and didn’t bite or suck on my neck. No hickeys. 

“I’ll be a good girl,” I moaned, and I felt Ryan’s dick throb through his pants. “Fuck, you’re so hard.”

“That’s your fault,” he told me with a low voice, boldly beginning to massage my breasts over my shirt. “You’ve been such a tease, and with your own teacher too. You’ve been touching yourself thinking of me fucking you, haven’t you?”

“Fuck, yes,” I moaned, feeling him go under my shirt. He reached behind me, with one hand, and undid my bra. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Ryan. It feels so good finally having your hands on me. I want to be such a good student for you.”

That cracked the veneer. Ryan chuckled, back to his normal voice, and he paused while telling me, “Why don’t we forget for now that I’m your teacher? Right now, we’re just two friends that want each other badly. Sound good?”

My cheeks burned. It felt so dumb to say it, especially now, but I couldn’t help myself. “You… want me too? Like, you want me specifically?”

“Surprised?” Ryan asked with a wink. “So, sound good?”

“Sounds good,” I agreed, and he went back to me, working my sweatshirt, then my t-shirt over my head. My bra quickly followed, falling off to the floor. I was topless in front of him. Ryan could see my bare breasts. Instinctually, my shoulders caved in.

“Hey, nope, not allowed,” he playfully chided me, then leaned into my face. “You’re beautiful, Jessica. Have confidence. Show them off,” he ordered with his smoky, low growl.

I bit my lip and nodded, moving my arms back out of the way. Ryan smiled in delight as he looked me over, taking one of my breasts in his hands and tracing his fingers along them. “Wow,” he murmured, his fingertips finally finding my areola. I sucked in air and he looked from my breast up to my eye, smiling a little. Slowly, he moved down and grabbed one of my breasts, cressing the outer parts, while he closed his mouth around my nipple.

I shuddered. I didn’t think breast play would feel good – it never felt good when I did it, and the one boyfriend I had in first year didn’t make me feel too good – but Ryan was making me feel things I had never felt before. I moved my hands to the back of his head, playing with his hair, feeling what his tongue, teeth and lips were capable of doing. And they were capable of a lot. Each movement of his was pushing all of the right buttons, each motion of his tongue directly designed to make me whimper and just get wetter. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was dripping at this point.

Ryan would soon find this out. While his mouth was busy upstairs, his hand boldly snaked down my pants like my own hand did so many times before while thinking of him. He hesitated for a second when his hand first made contact with my womanhood, and for a second, my heart skipped a beat, thinking I did something wrong. He took his mouth off of my breast, looked up at me, and smirked. “You’re so wet,” he teasingly told me.

“That’s your fault,” I teased back, causing his smile to broaden. While looking at me, he slowly moved his middle finger inside me. I really wanted to keep looking at him, but I embraced the wall behind me and looked up at the ceiling, suppressing the loud sex moan I would have emitted if I was less careful. He slowly started to pump his finger inside me, then, after a few movements, added another.

Two fingers. Perfect. The motions his fingers made were perfect too. It was like he arrived with a map of my most sensitive areas, a how-to guide to perfectly please me. I could only grip the wall and keep my eyes closed, my mouth open, topless in my TA’s office with his hand down my pants. Paradise. This was paradise. 

As he fingered me with one hand, he moved my pants and underwear down to my ankles with the other. I was mostly naked, just standing in my TA’s office, leaning against the wall as I finally felt him touching me. It was so surreal. I dreamed about it, but I never thought it would actually get to happen, and yet here he was. He had the perfect fingers, and knew exactly how to use them, curving them in exactly the right spot to make me gasp with almost every half-circle his fingers drew inside me.

He knelt down, looking up into my eyes, enjoying the tortured look on my face. Every so often, he would give a small chuckle and I would look down, enraptured, seeing him enjoy every feeling I was going through. I tried not to be loud, but I whimpered and whined like the slut I was for him. What’s more, it was clear he wasn’t fucking around either. As soon as he heard my breathing start to quicken, he winked at me and moved his face in, his tongue starting to lap at my clit. My legs almost gave out right then and there. Ryan was giving me the Venus Butterfly, I think, and it felt fucking amazing. I never had a boy do it for me before and, as I suspect he knew, it was making it very difficult for me to not break the “don’t moan too loud” rule.

Ryan wasn’t shy, diving in with his tongue, occasionally using it instead of his fingers inside my love tunnel, then going back to tonguing my clit and letting his fingers do the rest. It took an almost embarrassingly short time for me to reach my first orgasm of the night. Just once, I disobeyed his rule, giving out a lewd moan, enjoying the moment, letting all the feelings wash over me. It was like light took over all of my other senses. Ryan didn’t even have his dick out yet and he was already fucking like a Greek God. 

His eyes gave me a clear warning after my first moan, so I did my best to keep the rest of my orgasm quiet. All the while, he slowly but consistently kept up his motions, letting me ride out my orgasm. Eventually, he took his tongue off of me. “If I make you cum again, are you going to be quiet this time?”

I embraced the wall. “Yeah, I’m sorry,” I breathed.

“Good.” Immediately, he went back to my womanhood, attacking it the same way he had before, knowing exactly where to go and how fast to do it. An even more powerful force started to build within me. Knowing the promise I just made, I gasped suddenly and held my breath, squeezing my eyes shut. He was so confident he could make me go from one orgasm to the next. And he was completely and utterly correct. 

I shuddered and shivered, giving at best one of two strangled hums as wave after wave of pleasure rocked my body. “Holy shit,” I finally managed to breathe, feeling the sun and stars blip across my vision. I felt lightheaded. How was this even possible? Ryan wasn’t human. I still felt his fingers and tongue on me the moment my orgasm slowed its motion. I felt confident opening my mouth again to pant, the double orgasms taking a lot out of me.

I felt his motions stop, then his fingers retract. My vision was almost blurred, staring right at the wall in front of me. I could barely think. It was like he fucked me dumb… with just his fingers. I couldn’t get my mind off of how good all of that felt. Eventually, I heard him chuckle. “You good?”

“I see why you’re popular with girls,” I managed to quietly slur.

He chuckled and grinned cockily. “So I’ve been told,” he replied smugly. “Has this been enough for you or do you still want to see what the main event feels like? No shame in backing out.”

“Hell no,” I heard myself say. “I’m getting your fucking cock inside me, Ryan.” I was every bit as surprised as he was to hear me say that.

“Ooh wow, your inner fire just flared,” he observed. “What a hot flame it is. Well then…” He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a condom. Size large. Nice. “There’s not too many options in this room. You can bend over the desk if you want, unless you have any other ideas.”

My cheeks burned. I didn’t want to be the one to tell him that I’d only ever had sex in a bed, missionary style, with the lights off. I didn’t say anything and just shuffled over to the desk, my pants still around my ankles. I leaned over the desk and found a good way to bend over, looking to my side to watch the moment Ryan took his pants off.

The dude could have had a career in porn from every conceivable angle. Irresistible eyes, a fit and toned body, and now, as I saw (even though I knew for a while), a huge dick. An aesthetic huge dick too. Thick, long, and veiny. His foreskin covered half of his dick’s head, framing it in this aesthetic way I’d never seen a dick do before. He caught me staring and smiled with one eyebrow down, stroking it once or twice. He was hard as steel. “See something you like?” he asked rhetorically, then thought of something. “This can’t be your first time, can it?”

I shook my head no. “Don’t worry, I’ve had sex before. You don’t have to worry about popping my cherry.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’ve had a proper sex education, y’know. We both know that whole ‘hymen means virginity’ stuff is bullshit.”

I chuckled. “I meant spiritually.”

“Oh, gotcha,” he replied, moving up behind me. I held my breath, then felt his dick teasingly slide along my womanhood from behind. Fuck me, it felt hot to the touch. “Holy fuck…” I moaned out of instinct.

“Shhh…” he coaxed.

“You’re going to go slow, right?” I asked nervously.

“Of course,” he replied supportively, his hands running along my back. “And if I can say… you’re really tense. Breathe slowly a few times, relax your body. It’ll make you feel better, but it’ll also make fucking you way easier.” He laughed warmly. I obeyed, closing my eyes and breathing, trying to relax my body. He was right, my muscles were tense, and it probably would have made me tight in a very bad way. 

Once he had rolled on the condom and I relaxed my body, it was clear we were both ready. He lined himself up with me, making me bite my bottom lip. Holy fuck, even feeling him up against me was heaven. Doing this felt so good. So right, despite who we were to each other. 

“Ready?” he asked, his own voice full of contained excitement.

“Fuck me like a slut,” I breathed, then gripped the sides of the desk. Slowly, Ryan’s cock slid inside me, filling me up… then going farther. And farther. Ryan pushed his cock inch by inch inside me until I felt the skin of his thighs against mine. I took him to the hilt. Ryan was inside me. My fucking TA, Ryan, was inside me.

He remained there for a little, moving his hips around a little, allowing me to acclimatize to his size while still giving me mini-fireworks with how good his dick felt inside me. I could feel his dick pulsing and bobbing inside me, clearly eager as hell to get the real show going, so right when it began to feel okay, I breathed out. “Okay, I’m ready I think,” I told him. 

“If it hurts, I’ll slow down. Say the word ‘red,’ and I’ll stop entirely, no questions asked. Okay?” he coaxed in a warm, almost loving voice.

“Okay,” I replied, trying to match his tone, and soon, his hips were on mine, and he began thrusting. My TA was thrusting inside me, fucking me like one of his friends with benefits. I was another conquest of his. For maybe one night only, I was one of Ryan’s little sluts. And this whore was also taking his class.

The desk was remarkably stable for the workout we were giving it. I looked back at Ryan, who was taking his shirt off. Once it was off, he stood there proudly, still thrusting into me with his hips, and winked at me with a cheeky little grin. I blushed and smiled back. God, he definitely needed to be more careful about giving girls crushes on him. 

His fingers were great, but there was something about having his dick inside me. Something so primal, something that made me feel so receptive and submissive. I loved being Ryan’s little cumdump. Hell, if he asked to take off the condom, a part of me would have said yes, especially after knowing how he fucked.

Every motion of his was perfect. The way he topped off each thrust with a little upward motion, the way he’d build up in speed under he was ramming me mercilessly, only to thrust particularly deep, hold it there, then slowly begin the cycle anew. He had direct contact with my inner goddess, and knew exactly how to play with her. He could have gotten anything he wanted from me. And today, and hopefully so many other days, he just wanted to be inside me. How lucky was I?

I loved the feeling of his hands on my hips. They were soft yet rough, his touch gentle yet assertive. Everything about him was so perfectly balanced. Before long, as he fucked, he couldn’t stop himself from getting really into it and making little grunting noises. Amongst the noises, I heard a low laugh. “Did you ever think it would end up like this?” he asked.

“I never thought I’d be so lucky,” I admitted, taking his dick, being his slut. He rammed me faster in response.

“Me either,” he breathed, thrusting his cock to the hilt inside me, letting it remain. Stars prickled across my vision. “You always intrigued me, and you’re right, any one of those girls could have probably worn me down if they played their cards right, but… only you did.”

Pride swelled within me. I did it. I beat out all of those popular beautiful girls. I was the one Ryan wanted to fuck. I wasn’t a particularly jealous type, but who doesn’t want to hear the object of their adoration tell them they particularly wanted to fuck them, while railing them? I practically purred with happiness, feeling Ryan pick up speed. His dick felt heavenly. I felt my third orgasm approach, and just as I did, one of his hands released my hip to grab my hair. It was like he had a sixth sense. He grabbed my hair and rammed me, keeping up a brutal but consistent pace, knowing I was cumming on his cock. Ryan was making his student cum, and he clearly loved every second of it as much as I did.

He wasn’t happy with just three. Ryan outpaced me every step of the way, eager to keep giving me pleasure, seemingly sharing it with me, as he rammed me to the breaking point over and over. I nearly tapped out after five mind-shattering orgasms, but happily, his breaking point approached soon after. I could tell because it was the only time he sped up that wasn’t part of the pattern of helping me cum. Naturally, I did my best to slam my hips back into his – I wanted to help him have the best orgasm possible too.

Ryan didn’t shout or bellow when he came, he growled like some kind of death metal singer, a guttural noise escaping from the bowels of his lungs. He slammed into me with particular force, almost making me yelp, and even though he wore a condom, I could feel the size of his load escape his cock and press against the latex. The feeling of that alone made a small moan escape my lips. “Fuck…” I moaned, enjoying the moment. “That’s it Ryan, cum for me, shoot that load.”

Ryan remained behind me, almost frozen in place, embracing the feeling before finally collapsing on top of me, both of us breathing heavily, covered in a sheen of sweat. The room smelled heavily of our deeds. Ryan lifted his head, kissing his way down my back. “Christ,” he murmured. “I’m so happy I took a chance on you, Jessica.”

“Me too, fuck,” I moaned back. “Please, take as many chances on me as you want. I’ll do it with you literally whenever.”

He chuckled, pulling out of me and, out of my eyeshot, disposing of the condom. It made a deliciously squishy sound as he chucked it away. I bet it was pretty full. I was about to turn back around at him when I felt two hands turn my head around. He was kissing me again. Clumsily yet passionately, I kissed him back, our naked sweaty bodies pressing against each other shamelessly. When we stood up, our lips still locked, I even felt his bare cockhead make contact with my womanhood. I moaned into the kiss.

Our lips slowly parted and we looked into each others’ eyes for a bit. “You’re amazing,” I told him dreamily.

“I’m only human,” he rebutted humorously.

“Fooled me,” I told him seductively.

He chuckled and then reached into his desk, pulling out a can of Febreze and going to town on the room. He had nothing on and he had zero shame being naked in front of me. “You okay?” he asked. “I didn’t go too far in any way, did I? Or maybe you’re feeling something you need to voice out loud?”

I shook my head, smiling. “I’m good,” I told him, sitting on the desk watching the naked Ryan Febreze the room. I giggled. He was so fucking cute. How could a guy so sexy still be so puppydog cute? Only Ryan.

“Now, remember what I said,” he almost ordered, even with a playful tone. “No crushes. Or if you do, manage it. This is… physical release for us, right?”

“I got it,” I promised, pulling my underwear and pants up. “To be honest, this dynamic is kind of hot. It’s almost better that we’re not together, but just… a teacher and a student with a hot sexy secret.”

Ryan looked at me and smirked. “Behave,” he ordered, even as his cock visibly throbbed.

“Seems like you liked that,” I teased. “Admit it.” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “Fucking your student is hot.”

Ryan sighed, and walked over to me. His face was close to mine. “The hottest,” he admitted back to me in a whisper, then stole a quick kiss from me.

“You know…” I began. I wanted to prove to him that I could be casual about this, and plus, I was a slut. I wanted to take this even farther. “…There’s a group chat some of the girls in seminar have. It’s about you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Great. You girls are insatiable,” he joked, then thought about it. “I guess that’s where you told them to do the whole essay-innuendo thing.”

I finished putting my shirt on, then nodded. My face was still flushed, and my hair was still a mess. “If you really enjoyed it, and you ever want to… you know… try it again…”

He hesitated, turning to me. “…What are you offering?”

“I know you said you could never do it with Kylie, because the feelings are too strong, but like half of the class would spread their legs for you if you asked,” I told him, feeling adrenaline surge within me. This felt so good, so hot. “I could help. I could see which girls are mature enough, if they could hold a secret. And I could help get them alone with you.”

The look on Ryan’s face was pure shock. To my delight, his cock throbbed. “You’d be okay with that?”

“After fucking you, I think I’ve realized something,” I told him seductively. “Not only is fucking my TA completely fine… I think as long as the TA is you, more girls should get to do it.” The image of Ryan fucking more of his slutty students filled my mind. There was no jealousy. It just felt like something I wanted to make happen. “And you like fucking girls, right? What do you say?”

Ryan’s face hadn’t changed from a state of pure shock. His dick, however, became rock hard again. 

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