There will come a point where I finish the last chapter or piece I ever write. I genuinely hope that I only stop writing because I physically can’t. Writing gives me too much joy and inspiration to ever want to stop. It saddens and slightly scares me to think of stopping writing, because to me, the characters I write have touched me in some way. I know it sounds ridiculous to say that about erotica, all things considered, but I’m also a very over-emotional person, so I’ll accept that I’m perhaps reading too deeply into it.
I thought, for the first time in a while, about the fact I’ll eventually pass on, and therefore, I can’t do things like write forever. It felt like thinking about losing a friend. I pre-emptively started missing and almost mourning my life’s passion. I suspect we all have precious pastimes like that – the very idea of not doing it anymore makes you feel alone and sad. It’s why we like to recapture our youths – in a weird way it’s like mourning. We grieve for the lost opportunities, and we’re happy for the memories we do have. We wish we could have spent more time just basking in the joy and friends and happy memories.
Reader Geekstyle astutely pointed out recently how my stories’ structures resemble sitcoms. I’m actually kind of flattered by that comparison, because I grew up watching sitcoms with a lot of very special episodes, like Family Ties and Night Court. You can actually find a lot of small & subtle references to both shows in Being More Social in particular. I love those two shows – they’re episodic, with conflicts usually being self-contained, but the shows actually have a sense of continuity. Major events that happen in one episode aren’t forgotten because the events were a one-off joke – they’re now part of the show, and more importantly, part of their characters.
Characters are a great anchor. Shows and stories alike benefit from having events be things that happen to characters, instead of the focus of the story itself. People often use the word “saga” incorrectly: they’re not epic stories, they’re stories centered around events. That’s fine for a lot of applications, but especially in erotica, I prefer to write legends: stories about people. (EDIT: I learned this in a class on Ancient Greece, so regardless of how Google defines saga and legend, this is how I define them, and you can’t stop me.)
I enjoy writing in sitcom-like ways. I like self-contained conflicts and plots the characters can solve, especially when the characters are still affected when the event fades into memory. I think it’s another reason why I enjoy crafting a whole world and seeing people care about it. There’s no greater feeling in the world than when a commenter tries to use what they’ve known to link two stories of mine together. They care as much about the characters as I do. That’s… so incredibly validating. I’m so incredibly happy to think of a reader caring as much about a character as I do. That sense of shared joy is… immense. I just want to say, “You see it too?? Yeah, this person is awesome! I love them! I’m so glad you love them too!” But they’re a fictional person, and I’m just being over-emotional again.
It’s not bad to be over-emotional. It can lead to being a drama magnet, or crying more than the average person does, or even being a little vulnerable or sensitive, but it can also lead to joy and creation, and that’s wonderful. I’ll talk to you all next week.
One thought on “Legends & Mourning”
Your consistency and passion over the past year has been wonderful to see. I one day aspire to write something that people care about and understand just as you have experienced, so I can see why you feel so lucky and motivated and happy because of it. So write man, just write, cause if it’s good people will care, and I care. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like erotica, it just feels like a story with no boundaries. Keep it up and don’t worry about the future, just be in the now.
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