“You feel things too deeply,” Nicole commented in a caring yet scolding tone, never stopping with the backrub she was giving me. “Just talk to them when school starts up again. I’m sure they’re fine.”

Megan and Zelda were not fine, or at least, not fine with me. From the beginning of the break all the way up to Christmas—today—neither of them answered any of my texts. With Zelda, I didn’t have the confidence to text her more than twice, but with Megan, I had texted her every single day of the break, with zero replies. 

“I think I should text Megan again,” I mumbled. The backrub was helping, but not with everything. “Can you help me make a good text to let her know-”

“Nope,” Nicole simply replied. “Every time I tried to help you make up to a girl, it’s gone horribly. I think you gotta learn when to just not fix things with girls, and let time do its thing. Switch.”

Nicole and I turned around and I started massaging her back. “But it’s Megan,” I protested as my hands moved. “She never just ignores my messages.”

“Yeah, all the reason to realize that when she doesn’t reply, she doesn’t want to reply, bozo,” Nicole pointed out. 

I stayed silent. It was a great point, but… but I couldn’t just sit idly by and do nothing. If I knew something could be done, then I had the responsibility to do it.

“And your line of thinking is noble,” Nicole continued, reading my mind as she always did. “I get that feeling powerless sucks. But it’s not powerlessness. It’s control…lessness. Things will work out. Or they won’t. But badgering them is the quickest way to make sure it doesn’t work out.” She turned back and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “Okay?”

“Okay,” I conceded. 

Nicole beamed in response and stretched her back, shooing my hands away without even needing to use her hands, then got up and retrieved a package from under her pillow. “Present time?”

I smiled politely. “Sure, that sounds lovely.”

Nicole lowered an eyebrow and mimed slapping me across the face with her free hand. “It’s Christmas, lighten up,” she ordered with a playful tone. 

I went with her miming, pretending to fall over. “Aaah…” I yelled, falling onto her bedroom floor, grabbing my cheek.

She responded by chuckling and lightly kicking me. “Be present for the present, you diva.”

“Only if you…” I replied, reaching behind me and grabbing her gift. “…will also be present for the present.”

We exchanged gifts and Nicole immediately inspected it, throwing out a few guesses, all of them way off. It was nice to see she wasn’t psychic about everything. Eventually we  started to unwrap them together. Nicole’s smile spread across her face as she uncovered…

“A velvet art coloring book,” she murmured, looking it over. 

I stopped unwrapping mine and nodded. “I saw old velvet art in your desk when we were cleaning in here a few weeks ago. I feel like you’d only keep stuff like that if you really liked it. I just wanted to get you something that would make you happy.”

She was still staring at it. “Damn…” she murmured. “I… yeah. I did a lot of velvet art as a kid. You done good, hotshot.” Her voice got quieter as she talked. She eventually looked away. “I wish I got you something more meaningful now. I feel like an idiot.”

“Hey, c’mon,” I laughed, returning to unwrapping my gift. Internally, I couldn’t help but gloat. Booyah. I scored the bullseye. I knew that seeing her velvet art was an important find. I unwrapped my gift to find…

“Hey, it’s GTA five!”

Nicole smiled nervously. It was clear that she felt like she was underwhelming. “I figure since we’re playing games more, we may as well play the big ones.”

“This is cool, but I don’t have a…” I checked the box. “…PS3.”

“Well yeah, but…” Now she was turning red. “I do, and, uh… Look, I’m only going to be playing it with you, no one else, not even alone, so it’s still a gift for you, dummy.”

I grinned, which only made Nicole squirm more, as well as keep talking. “I thought it would be-”

“I like it,” I soothed her, going in for a hug. “I’m looking forward to playing it with you.”

Nicole returned the hug, putting her head on my shoulder. “Mrrh,” she conceded.

“I’ve actually wanted to play it since it came out,” I continued.

“Well, duh,” she replied, her head coming up from my shoulder. “Remember how on the day it came out, like half the students skipped school? Scott asked me what was going on. I didn’t know how to tell him that half of his school skipped to go home and game.” She looked me in the eye as she finished talking, then blushed and looked away.

“What?” I asked with a smile.

“Mrrh,” she mumbled cutely again, then went in for a kiss. “Thanks, hotshot. This was a nice Christmas.” She hugged me again, and then slowly shifted more of her weight onto me. More… more…

“Uh, Nicole?” I mumbled as I was beginning to lose my balance. I could hear her giggle as I felt my legs give out and the two of us crashed to the ground.

“Ow…” I groaned with a wince. “What was that?”

“Your gift was sweet. I wanted to cuddle.”

“Your bed is right there.”

“I wanted to cuddle on the floor.” I would have replied, but Nicole held my lips shut with her fingers, grinning and biting her lip. She kissed me on the nose and added, “Merry Christmas, boyfriend.”

Nicole always downplayed our relationship, and rarely called me her boyfriend. I made it clear I loved it when she called me that, no matter how awkward it sounded. She removed her fingers from my lips as I smiled back at her, then kissed her lips. Our kiss evolved until Nicole was on top of me, kissing me and, of course, grinding on me. 

“Admit that Christmas makes you horny,” I told her.

Nicole grabbed at her heart and closed her eyes tightly like she was in pain. “Alright, prosecutor, I confess,” she replied in an overly dramatic voice, then rolled her eyes. “Such an idiot. You make me horny.”

“Me being considerate makes you horny,” I corrected her.

“Well me being anything makes you horny, you scuzzball,” Nicole barked back, shifting down my legs and grabbing my hard-on through my jeans. “Why, I bet you’re hard right now,” she added in a faux dramatic voice. She pulled down my pants with a determined expression as if she was proving a point, and revealed my rock-hard cock. “See??” She licked it from base to tip and stuffed it in her mouth, all while committing to the bit with this pissed-off expression. I laughed and she raised an arm and flipped me off, all while she sucked on me.

I threw my head back and relaxed. Playful sex was almost as good as serious sex, and with Nicole being Nicole, there seemed to be an abundance of both. It helped that ever since she decided not to run after other guys, she wanted sex from me more, though it probably would have been distasteful somehow to bring that up. 

Nicole was committed, playing gently with my balls while sucking me down, her peeved expression never leaving her face. It was really cute, and the more I laughed, the more jokingly pissed off she got, so of course, I tried to laugh often. It wasn’t easy since Nicole’s blowjobs were unquestionably the best, and before long, I was firing into her mouth, which she eagerly accepted.

She seemed acutely aware of how sensitive dicks got after cumming, and gently slowed down her sucking, eventually releasing her mouth from me. “You’re the worst,” she said with a pout.

“You just sucked the worst’s dick,” I joked back. “You liked the coloring book that much, huh?”

Her pouting disappeared right up until I asked that question. “Mrrh,” she complained again, turning away to get her water. I couldn’t help but smile.

***

The forest we hiked last year. Midnight. Alone.

It was two days before class started back up again when Megan sent me that text. I replied confirming I’d be there before I even thought about how I’d get there, but I would walk if need be.

So, I did just that. It was a good hour away by foot, but I didn’t care. At 11pm, I made sure my parents were asleep, then snuck out of the house, beginning my trek to the woods. Luckily, I arrived right around midnight, and after a few texts, Megan and I found each other.

Like me, she was wearing a lot of layers, trying to brave the cold, but unlike me, she wasn’t interested in talking immediately. “Just follow me, I’m not ready to talk yet,” she simply told me, and started to walk through the forest. I shivered and followed her.

We walked until we reached this little hill at the edge of the forest. It wasn’t like a cliff or anything, but it was enough to overlook a bit of the city. Megan stood on top of the hill, looking over the city, and I slowly walked up next to her.

She never took her gaze off of the view before us. “We couldn’t have met at my place. Matt’s there,” she simply said.

“Yeah,” I replied quietly. “I guess my place would have been a bad idea too.” Neither of us said anything for a bit, so I decided to break the silence. “Did we need to talk about something?”

Megan stared at the city for a bit. “Need,” she repeated. “Do we ‘need’ to talk about something. Do we ‘need’ anything, Adam? Is what we want what we need? You don’t need me at all. I could walk out of your life anytime, you know.”

“…Megan, you’re scaring me,” I replied uneasily. “I’m really sorry I invaded your privacy. I had no idea you even liked girls.”

“I don’t,” she simply replied. “I don’t like girls. I’ve never been into girls. I’m not into them now. I’m just into Zelda, and I don’t know why, or how, or…” She exhaled, still laser-focused on the city. “I’m not a lesbian. Or bisexual. I’m straight. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Megan… it’s okay to be bi. It’s cool if you are. I won’t jud-”

“God will judge me,” Megan replied. “My parents, Matt, everyone.”

“I bet your pastor would understand,” I mumbled. Weirdly, that was a breaking point for Megan. I heard sobbing from her, and turned away from the city to see her start to cry. “Hey, hey, I’m sorry.”

Megan got a hold of herself, still looking anywhere but at me. “I don’t want to lose myself,” she said, tears still on her face.

“Go on,”  I encouraged.

“No. That’s it. I don’t want to lose myself.” Her lip quivered. “I try to put on a brave face, with everything. Whenever people are mean to me, or when they just dismiss me, even my best friends…”

“I’ve tried to make sure you feel like a valuable friend,” I replied immediately.

She gave me a look. “The last time we were in these woods, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. You sat me down on a rock and told me you had no feelings for me and that our relationship was entirely one-sided. Then you laughed, like you just told me a hilarious joke. I didn’t know what to do, so I had intercourse with you, just to make me feel like you liked me back and you were just mistaken or something. Yeah, you got better, but I never was allowed to be angry with people about things like that.” She looked away from me, out at the distance. “And now I think I am.” She stood there for a bit longer, before scooping up some snow at her feet into a snowball, and chucking it vaguely towards the city, all while giving a hearty yell. 

“Megan…”

She breathed in and out a few times. “I feel like a new chapter is coming. A new me. Megan is dying. Maybe the person you’ll see next won’t even be named Megan,” she told me, with the same eerie calmness I remembered from last year, when she decided to get her abortion.

“Is the new you going to pursue a relationship with Zelda?” I asked.

For the first time since we got there, Megan smiled, and chuckled, though it was a sad chuckle. “Zelda,” she repeated, then sighed. “I don’t even know what the heck my plan was with Zelda, you know. Like, if you hadn’t barged in like that. What was I going to do after the break started, sneak off to her house? Kiss her? Date her? Have intercourse with her? I made a vow, you know. And the worst part was, Zelda accepted it. She would have been fine if we just kissed and didn’t do anything more.”

“Why is that the worst part?”

“Because I know I wouldn’t have been fine with just that. I wanted more. I’m trying to run away, trying to never have intercourse again, and I just, can’t, do it.” I saw tears form at the corners of her eyes again. “I know how badly it hurts. I know I don’t want to do it. I know I’m not a lesbian. I know I don’t even want to have intercourse with a guy, let alone a girl. God is testing me, and I’m failing. I can’t not do it, Adam. I can’t turn away from sin. What the heck does that make me?”

I stood by, not knowing how to answer. 

She turned to me, the tears flowing. “What does it make me?!” she demanded. “I hate this. I hate this life. I hate myself. I’m losing myself, Adam. I hate what I’m becoming, I hate what I am.” Her lip quivered. I felt sympathy tears coming on. “I hate sex. And I can’t stop wanting it. I just need to let this chapter start. I need to change myself, before I just die.”

“Fuck that,” I heard myself blurt. Before I realized it, I was grabbing Megan by the shoulders. “No. Fucking no. I’m already dealing with Nicole trying to end her life, I am not going to let that happen to you too. You’re not dying, you hear me? You’re not going to die, you’re not going to hate yourself, you are going to be alright.”

Megan stared at me, digesting my words. Her own feelings about herself melted away in the face of what I told her. “Nicole is…?” she asked in a tiny voice.

I breathed in and out, trying to hide my tears but failing. Eventually, I was crying, just as much as Megan was. I don’t know how long I just stood there, gripping her shoulders, crying and repeating small statements like “everything is just so hard,” but the entire time, Megan just held my shoulders right back. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not going to die,” she admitted. “I just meant that I’m… I can’t go on like this.” She let go of my shoulders and I let go of hers. “I know I’m going to feel like a new person once we get back to Hazelwood. I don’t know if the new me is going to be better or worse. I just wanted to say goodbye. I thought you’d want that much.”

“And what if you don’t change?” I asked her. “What if you go back to Hazelwood and you’re happy w-”

“If I’m happy, that would be a change, Adam.”

It was my turn to throw a snowball at the city. Megan watched me, and added, “How bad is Nicole doing?”

I remained frozen in place from my position where I threw the snowball. I paused, then sat down on the snow. “I don’t even fucking know,” I answered. “Some days she’s great, some days she’s, uh… scary.”

“You said I was scary.”

“No, scarier. Terrifying. Hurting-herself-in-the-bathroom level scary.”

“Oh my gosh,” Megan breathed. “Nicole. That’s not fair.” She didn’t say anything more, and before long, she was sitting next to me, with both of us looking out at the city together. Absent-mindedly, I grabbed one of her hands and was playing with it. 

“Do you really mean it?” I asked. “About becoming a new person.”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “It’s not that I want it. It’s that I feel it.”

“Well, I’m willing to be friends with New Megan too,” I replied, still playing with her hand.

“I hope she’ll want to be your friend too,” she replied. “I want her to be.”

“So, what, New Megan will forget Zelda existed? That’s going to be awkward.”

Megan exhaled sharply. “I’m trying to forget Zelda exists too.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little… unfair?”

“No.” She turned away, bringing her hand with her. “No it’s not.” She sat in silence for a bit before turning back to me, but still said nothing. When she met my gaze, she only shrugged.

“I love you,” I told Megan. “I’ll always love you. If you go away, I’ll miss you.”

Megan’s eyes got misty again. She looked down at the ground, then at the city. “You live your whole life being good,” she began calmly. “And then you find out that it was all for nothing. That you can’t be good. That even your friends can be poisonous. Your idol wants to kill herself. Your best friend and you made so many mistakes that you had to kill your son. The girl that makes you feel love again makes you feel so guilty you want to die. Your biological brother hates you now, and your spiritual brother just had a crush on you this whole time. Who knows if Carson ever even just liked me as a friend? I can never know now. And to top it all off, my body wants intercourse so much that hating it can’t stop me.”

I exhaled sympathetically, listening to her.

She stared at the city again, and looked off towards Hazelwood. It was too far away for us to see, but it was clear she was looking in the direction that it would be. At lightning speed, she got to her feet, picked up some more snow, and chucked it in Hazelwood’s direction. “Fuck you!!” she screamed in the direction of Hazelwood, her face unhinging as she screamed. “Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuuuck yoooou!!” She kept scooping up snow and throwing it, getting more sloppy with each throw until she collapsed into the snow, bawling her eyes out. 

I quickly rushed to her back, holding her supportively. We laid there for the next ten minutes, with her crying and me rubbing her back and telling her it was okay, that everything was okay. Everything was not okay, and we both knew that, but both of us needed to hear me say it.

***

Megan wasn’t in class on Monday. Zelda was.

I stared at Zelda for an unhealthily long portion of the class—not as an object of desire, but as a friend. Even though I wasn’t the worst guy in the world, I could totally believe that I caused her to hurt, and possibly worse yet, she didn’t truly know if I didn’t care that she was a lesbian. Knowing she might not be in the mood to talk, I took a scrap of paper and wrote on it.

I’m sorry I asked you out. I didn’t know. You’re a great friend and I don’t want to lose that.

I waited until she was looking in another direction and slipped the paper onto her desk, then quickly leaned back in my chair and pretended, perhaps for the first time, to be interested in Mr. Kovacs’ lesson. Occasionally I would steal a look in Zelda’s direction, and after a few minutes, while I didn’t see her actually read the note, I noticed the note was no longer on her desk. She picked it up, and hopefully, she read it. 

I accepted Nicole’s advice. I may have stuck my nose out again, but I did something small, instead of cornering her. The rest would be up to her.

***

Mr. Salvador looked up from the papers he was grading and nodded, looking right at me. “I think that’s the best decision you can make right now,” he told me seriously. 

I shrugged, playing with my hands. Even just being in Savlador’s office made me nervous. “Well, you said it would help Nicole, so it would probably help me,” I concluded. “Plus, I have a lot of stuff to say, and… I feel like I need to tell someone, or I’ll just explode.”

Salvador’s eyes danced. “Yes, I gathered as much last year,” he replied, as if we were sharing a joke. “I’ll recommend you to the school counselor as soon as I can.”

“I appreciate it,” I replied with a nod, then thought about it. “Actually… can I ask a weird request?”

“‘Make’ a weird request,” Salvador corrected me. “And don’t ask me. Tell me the request. I can say no, but asking me if you can ask something cheapens what you’re about to say.”

That was definitely the Salvador I knew. “Can you ask them like how you did with Nicole? Where you’re recommending it on my behalf? I kind of… don’t want to ask for counseling. I don’t want the counselor to know I asked.”

Salvador stopped reading, and put down the paper. He looked baffled. “Why?”

I shrugged. “Something about asking for it…” I stopped and chuckled. “Actually, yeah, something about asking for it cheapens the message. I feel like if I just come forward going, ‘I wanna talk about some shit,’ th-”

“What did I tell you?”

“Sorry, sorry. Some… stuff, then it’ll seem like I feel like my problems are too big and important, when I know they’re not. But if I get recommended by a teacher, even if I asked them to, then that kind of… confirms it. Like, it lets me know, ‘yeah, other people think this is bad too. They think you should talk to a counselor.’”

“I just said it’s the best decision you can make. There’s your confirmation,” Salvador replied.

“Yeah, but like, the counselor doesn’t know that. I’m probably just another emotional student who has problems. It just seems so silly.”

Salvador took off his glasses and started to clean them, shaking his head. “You’re stuck between two very emotionally volatile friends, both of them starting to display very concerning behaviors.”

“In their own unique ways, but yeah,” I admitted. I couldn’t help but think back to what Jason said about me ruining May’s life. What if I was ruining their lives as well? Megan’s and Nicole’s. If May stayed, would she be doing worse right now? Was I cursed?

“That doesn’t sound silly to me. Especially since, if I can be blunt, you don’t look like you’re doing all that well yourself.”

“I’m not,” I agreed. “But it’s mostly because I’m worrying about them, and a lot of the drama that we all caused.”

Salvador chuckled. “I’m glad you’re calling it drama now, instead of thinking it’s the most important thing in the world. Or that it happens only to you.” He put his glasses back on. “You’re at the age where a lot of people hurt over normal human things, Adam. And most people will come away from this just fine. Nicole is an extreme case, so we deal with it extremely. Based on what you told me about Megan, it sounds like she’s just going through a lot of stress. It’s impactful, but it’s also human.”

I frowned. Despite telling Salvador a lot, he didn’t have the full full story. I bet he would change his tune if he knew Megan’s whole story. I clicked my tongue but said nothing.

“Is there anything else?” Salvador asked after enough time passed to let his words sink in.

“I don’t think so,” I replied, standing up. “Let me know what they recommend. And yeah, I’d prefer if you recommend ‘on my behalf,’ but do whatever you need to.”

“I’m going to say you requested it, Adam,” he told me firmly. “Even the context of you knowing you need it is important information for them to know your intentions and do their job.”

I said nothing. That actually made a lot of sense. “Okay,” I finally said, walking towards the door. “I’ll see you in a month or so, won’t I?”

“You will. I’m glad you took drama again. You have a gift for it.”

“Yeah. Both kinds,” I said bitterly, and promptly left. I stayed longer than I wanted to as it was, and Nicole was probably not going to be happy, but as I check my watch, I realized I was still on time for the Council to start. Thankfully, I had beelined to Salvador’s office right after English class.

That didn’t stop me from jogging all the way to Room 203, and luckily, when I got there, it was seemingly seconds before the meeting started.

“Almost late,” Nicole said, looking at the room’s whiteboard before turning around to look at me. Her eyebrows raised slightly. “Huh. I would have bet money Megan would be here before you.”

My eyes wandered to Megan’s seat. Empty. I frowned to myself, seeing that everyone else was there, and trudged over to my seat, right beside Jarrod’s. 

“How’s it going?” I asked him, offering a fist bump, which he returned. “Salvador treating you well?”

I tried to bond with him over any and all commonalities, and luckily for me, he took drama this year (though even just looking at him could tell you he was a drama kid). He shook his head, looking down at the floor. “I got a C- on my last assignment,” he lamented. “He’s too much of a hardass. I dunno how you like him.”

“He does that to kick the students in the pants a little,” I replied diplomatically. “He knows students give, like, a baseline effort. You’re giving seventy percent, which is normal. Every student only ever gives seventy percent. He’s the only teacher that wants to see you at a hundred. Trust me, if you do your next assignment with more effort, he’ll like you, and you might even like him.”

Jarrod just went “hm” in response, turning away from the floor. Nicole waited for about thirty more seconds before sighing and beginning the meeting, and it lasted for a full five minutes before Megan walked in. 

She was a hundred percent right. Even her walk looked unlike Megan. She normally had a kind of glow to her face that was just… gone. What used to be the shy makings of a smile was replaced by perpetually lowered eyebrows, even slightly lowered eyelids, and a vaguely inquisitive face. 

When Megan walked in, the same face could be seen on Nicole for a microsecond as she looked at Megan, before she blinked and reverted to her normal expression. “Ah, Meggster. Good of you to join us.”

“My name is Megan. Just use that please.”

No one in the whole Council spoke for a little bit. Internally, I cringed. Megan wasn’t bluffing; she was a wholly different person now. I expected Nicole to take that well and move on, but for whatever reason, she didn’t. “Um, so, the last two billion times were fine but this isn’t?”

Megan shrugged. “I’m just telling you what my name is.”

Nicole’s lower eyelid slightly twitched in thought. “VP, take over,” she ordered roughly. “Megan, you, me, hallway. Now.”

Right before I got up to lead the meeting, I felt my phone vibrate with a text message. As I watched Nicole and Megan leave to have their chat, I read the text. A text from Zelda, one which made my heart sink.

I read your note. I can’t forgive you for this, I’m sorry. She left me because of what you did.

***

Sabrina sat next to me awkwardly, watching my face before asking me, “So… what did you want to do in here?”

I sighed. “I’m gonna be real with you, Sabrina, I don’t think I want to do anything today. Yesterday was kind of hard on me. I just thought we could go here if you wanted to talk or something.”

“Talk?” she asked in a slightly weirded-out tone. “I mean, can’t we talk anywhere? If we have the key now, we should, you know, take advantage of the opportunity.” She started to trace lines on my thigh over my jeans as she talked, punctuating her point.

I smiled at her. “I know, we should, but right now, I have a lot on my mind.”

She smiled back. “Maybe I can help,” she offered. 

I laughed. “You can’t fix any of my problems, they’re a bit too complicated.”

“Yeah, but I can…” Her hand went to my crotch, still tracing lines. My cock throbbed in my pants. “…Distract you again.”

I thought back to what Megan said in the woods. “That’s really sweet Sabrina, but I don’t want to make this too one-sided. I don’t want it to seem like I only want sex out of this.”

She smiled a confused smile. “Well, I mean, we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. We do want sex out of this, right? I’m okay with it being, like, just sex.”

I stared at her for a bit. Without my protests, her smile got bigger. “Don’t worry,” she cooed, feeling like she was winning this little argument. “But I-”

“Okay,” I conceded, shaking my head. “But… I’m going through a bit right now.”

“I know how to make you forget alllll about it,” she agreed instantly. 

“No, no, I mean… I want to eat you out. I want to feel like I’m helping you too.”

Sabrina turned pink. “You w-want to…”

I chuckled. “I think we already talked about this, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you actually wanted to,” she mumbled. “I’ve, uh, never had a guy do that to me.”

“Yeah, seems like guys don’t seem to do it, in my experience,” I replied. “But I’m not guys.”

Sabrina gave a big smile and looked back to the door of Room 203. At our angle, no one could see us in the room, and the door was locked. Satisfied, she bit her lip and slowly nodded, getting up.

I looked back to the door myself before giving her all of my attention, watching her undress. She chuckled, looking away in embarrassment, but didn’t stop, revealing her beautiful pussy to me. It was decorated with beautiful little tufts of blond hair, and her little lips were puffy with excitement. On one level, it was a shame no one ever ate her out before, especially since she blew two other guys. On the other, I was happy to be the one to give this to her.

She looked at the table and grimaced a little, which made me chuckle. “Don’t worry,” I told her soothingly. “We can do chair or standing up. Table is a little stiff.”

She smiled, still clearly shy having her pussy on full display to me, and opted to go for the chair, sitting down and spreading her legs open. “L-like this?” she asked. “Is this good? Or…”

I nodded, getting down on my knees before her. “Perfect,” I told her quietly, leaning in and kissing her between her legs, right above her pussy.

Even though it wasn’t even in her more sensitive area, the effect was instantaneous. She inhaled, then exhaled a breathy, “Oh wow…”

“Yeah, you think that’s good?” I jokingly teased her. “Watch this.”

She bit her lip, watching me kiss her above her pussy, over and over, with each kiss getting half a millimeter lower, until I felt my lips making contact with her vulva. Sabrina instantly closed her eyes and moaned, lightly moving her hips forward. She was polite about it, but she wanted more. She clearly wanted more.

I grabbed both of her legs from underneath and began the main show, moving my tongue around her folds, listening to Sabrina moan as she felt, for the first time, a man exploring her sex. It was clearly long overdue, and she was loving every second of it. I was going to make up for lost time and then some. 

I played with her, dragging my tongue across her slit, experimentally moving it in as far as it would go, and occasionally coming up to play just a little with her clit. Each movement made her squirm. She was warm to the touch, bright pink in her face, and unable to hold back her little whimpers. She loved it.

“Ungh…” she moaned, feeling my tongue enter her again. “Oh my God, Adam, yes, yes, we need to do this more, so much more… Fuck, I can’t believe how… oh, wow… how good this feels…”

I was such a stud. Sabrina was all mine, and I had a monopoly on her feelings right now. I did everything I could to please her, stroking the undersides of her thighs as I feasted on her. I wasn’t sure if it was because it was her first time, or if it was because she seemed naturally sensitive (and given our hallway interactions, that was a distinct possibility), but she was getting closer to her orgasm than most of the other girls I had eaten out.

I looked up at her, my tongue still busy, to see her looking directly at me, still profusely blushing, now holding her hands up to her face, cutely biting down on her sweater cuff. Smiling even with my tongue out, I thought of doing something, just to see her reaction. I was hard and throbbing anyway, and she liked seeing my cock, so why not? 

Looking her dead in the eye, I released one of my hands from her thighs and pulled out my dick, stroking it slowly, never looking at it. I only looked at her. She gasped as she saw it, and it would be the last thing she saw before her orgasm took her. With high-pitched gasps, she began to squirm and writhe, her muscles contracting around my tongue. She was doing a good job keeping quiet, but it was very clear it was a powerful one.

I kept up speed, still playing with her, trying to avoid the most sensitive spots so as to not ruin her moment. She grabbed the top of my head for support, scrunching up my hair in her hands, giving a single, slow moan. She was cumming on my tongue. I was the first guy to give her an oral orgasm. 

As her climax subsided, I kept up my efforts, only thinking to stop if I was asked. At first, she was clearly confused, even though she didn’t say anything, but soon, the pants and gasps were back. I kept up my oral work, running my tongue gently over her clit and playing with her folds, with her soon figuring out why. As Sabrina’s second orgasm approached, she had a harder time keeping quiet, and started to moan a little louder. I was almost tempted to come up for air and give her a “Shh!” but luckily, she wasn’t that loud for long. 

Her legs clamped on either side of my head, her eyes closing, her mouth hanging open. I was giving Sabrina rolling orgasms, and jacking off all the while. She reached the pinnacle of her orgasm just as I reached mine – I was pent up, although I had actually already jacked off that morning, so I shot a blank. As far as I was concerned, that was welcome news. She didn’t have to know that I came – shooting a blank was totally a weird thing for a guy to do… right? – and I didn’t have to clean up any awkward mess off the floor. 

Sadly, little did I know, that second part wouldn’t come quite true. As I finally took my tongue back into my mouth, I realized that Sabrina’s juices were dripping off of the chair and onto the floor. “Oh, wow,” I murmured, the first thing I said since I began tongue-fucking her. 

She remained in the chair, almost lifeless, my efforts clearly reducing her to a blushing pile of jelly. I realized very quickly that I’d have to clean this up somehow… or just pray that it would all evaporate or something.

Eventually, Sabrina regained consciousness, and practically dragged my head up to meet hers so she could kiss me deeply and passionately. “You have the best tongue on the planet,” she practically rasped, still breathing heavily, looking me right in my face with glossy, half-closed, lust-drunk eyes.

I can only imagine the look I was returning. Even as the bell rang, we didn’t take our eyes off of each other. We didn’t do anything but smile.

The bell sobered us up, and before long, she was putting her clothes back on and had agreed to leave the room first. I said I’d clean up any mess we “may have” caused, but, truth be told, I just pushed in the chair and hoped no one would notice. Even if someone did, they’d probably just think we spilled some water or something. 

I was supposed to wait a full two minutes after Sabrina left, but… what was the risk? I looked at my watch and rolled my eyes, figuring that I was going to be late as it was, and grabbed my backpack, slinging it over my shoulder. I exited the room and prepared to lock it from the outside… then slowly turned around.

Unabashedly staring at me was Athena. Not even looking away when she saw me turn around. Far enough away that I couldn’t just whisper to her, but close enough to make this feel… weird.

“Damn,” I heard her say.

So, that was the risk. I blushed and turned back to lock the door. “What?” I asked innocently. 

“No, nothing. Like, I already knew, so I mean… this shouldn’t be a shock.” She remained fixed in place.

“Knew what?” I feigned ignorance. “Oh.. Sabrina? That?” My brain worked overtime. “Actually, she and I are kind of… fighting right now. We needed a place to let it all out-”

“Bet you did.”

“Hey!” I snapped. “Look, I don’t know what you think is happening here, but-”

“There’s no need to lie,” she said in a weirdly calm voice. “It’s whatever. I’m actually kind of jealous of how bold you two are.”

I sighed. I guess I was caught. “Yeah, well…” I mumbled feebly. “…Beats the hallway, right?”

“Yeah.” 

I chuckled awkwardly. “Don’t you and Jason get ideas now.”

She chuckled too, then, as abruptly as it started, the conversation ended. She waved goodbye and quickly left.

***

It seemed like a lifetime ago that Jason and I fought. In reality, it was a few weeks ago, but in my mind, it felt like it was last year when we fought… and I guess technically it was.

I should have been more alarmed when Jason came into the weights room. I had just finished a rep and my arms were sore, but I still jumped up, remembering that he punched me in the face last time. I didn’t do anything more. I just stared at him, and he stared back.

Eventually, he broke eye contact with me, and eyed one of the machines. “Can I use it?” he asked with a dry voice.

I stared at him for a bit and nodded. “Want to get stronger?”

“Something like that.” He sat down. “I mean, the gym’s here… why not?”

“Why not?” I repeated. 

He began using the machine, doing lat pulldowns. “Athena says she saw you and-” I got up off of the machine and headed for the door. “No, no, wait, c’mon!” Jason prostested.

“I don’t want the speech, okay?” I told him. “Just have fun on the machines, man. Have fun.” I held my hands up in a surrendering motion and made for the door.

“All I was going to say was that you had an opportunity to hit on Athena and didn’t!” he tossed out.

I stopped in my tracks and whirled around. “I told you a thousand times, I’m not interested in being a homewrecker. Let it go already.”

“I’m trying to!” 

We both stared at each other, breathing heavily. Jason was the first to speak. “I’m trying to, okay? I miss seeing the gang at lunch. I feel… I feel like it’s my fault. I feel like… I heard your reputation with girls and got worried. Yes, I’m jealous, okay? I know. But I got reasons to be.” He shrugged. “I got reasons to be.”

“You hit me in the face when I didn’t even do anything. I just talked to her,” I nearly yelled. I clearly wasn’t as over this as I thought.

He sighed. “Yeah,” he admitted. “It wasn’t a good thing to do. I’m not mad I confronted you, but I should have asked first.”

I laughed. “Should have asked before you punched me. Damn right.”

“Fine. If you want to hear it so damn badly, I’m sorry. I heard bad shit about you, and my mind rushed to worst-case scenario.” He stood up and stretched. “But if you heard that some boy was famous in the school for ruining girls’ lives, and you heard him go, ‘nah bro, I’m just in an open relationship,’ especially with a girl who doesn’t have the best reputation herself, what would you think?”

“I’d think, ‘hmm, maybe gossip isn’t everything,’” I countered. “You know, get some hard evidence. Who even said th-”

“Well, I mean, I kind of did get hard evidence,” he argued back. “I saw you and Sabrina. To me, that was like, ‘yup, this is it, he’s a player.’ Then, suddenly you’re talking to Athena?” He paused. “It’s just too much of a coincidence. Even now, it bothers me, but I guess I kind of lose the high ground.”

I looked away. If I could forgive Matt, I could forgive Jason. “Nah,” I admitted in a quiet voice. “Whatever. I’m not gonna pretend I’m your biggest fan, but at least you’re actually saying stuff to my face now. So who-”

“Yeah, well…” He gave a really sad laugh. “I thought about you telling Athena to break up with me. Even if you’re just friends, the idea of her…” His voice quivered. “…Listening to you… that hurts.” He shook his head. “Can’t do it. So I want to try to… I dunno, I’ll listen. For her sake. I know that you were in a weird place and Athena was kinda acting weird. She approached me and was all, ‘did I do something bad?’ And at that point, I just had to think, ‘what the fuck am I doing here?’”

“She did something bad?” I asked.

“She said something like, ‘I did something bad. I talked to Adam and I didn’t tell him not to. I don’t want you thinking I was letting him hit on me.’ Something like that.”

I shook my head. “Both of you are… like, no offense, there are trust issues there.”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

“Now wait, before I forget, who told you that I was ruining girls’ lives?”

I just heard about it in class. The popular girls were talking about you.”

“Who’s that?”

“The pretty ones, you know, the ones in that cliquey group. Taylor, Morgan, Sadie, Crystal… I think there was one more.”

“Jason, I don’t even know these people,” I protested.

“Does that matter?” he asked. “Did you hurt people or didn’t you?”

Ouch. Bullseye. I looked at him for a bit, readying my answer, when the door opened again.

“I thought I told you,” Nicole barked as she walked inside. “No more st- oh.” She stopped in her tracks as she saw Jason. “Uh, hey. How’s your girlfriend? Still older than you? Neat.” She turned to me and smiled sweetly. “Mind if I talk to you for a sec in the hallway, Adam?” 

I looked back at Jason, then at Nicole. Jason cleared his throat. “Hey, Nicole?”

“It’ll be quick, I promise,” she immediately replied, walking out the door. 

“I’m sorry that people say mean stuff about you,” Jason continued. “You should ignore the gossip.”

She popped back in and lowered an eyebrow at Jason, smirking in disbelief. She opened her mouth once, shut it, then twice, shut it again, then spoke. “You are… the king of saying awkward and unflattering things,” she told him bluntly. “But thanks, I guess.” With that, she practically grabbed me by the collar and dragged me into the hallway.

“Ow!” I complained. “What the heck, Nicole?”

She forcefully shut the door and turned to me. “Didn’t I say no sex stuff inside the school walls?” she asked. 

I stared at her for a bit, then caved. “Okay, how’d you find out?”

“Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that covering for you is becoming hard, and it’s all because you’re not listening to me. Why don’t you listen to me?”

“I do!” I protested. “I was trying to tell Sabrina no, and-”

“And what?” Nicole laughed, leaning in. “Did she just hold you down and force you against your will to-”

“Hey, stop,” I said, forcefully yet weakly. “I have a bad past with that shit.”

She froze in place, then leaned back. “Okay, you told her no. Then what?”

“She, uh… made a compelling argument.” 

Nicole’s look couldn’t have been less impressed. Admittedly, even coming out of my mouth it felt silly. “Compelling argument.” She rolled her eyes. “Maybe we should just be monogamous. At least then you have some reason to actually listen to the shit I’d say.”

“Well, look I-”

“Nah, shut up,” she replied, now looking away. She snapped her fingers a few times in thought, then internally made some kind of decision. “Okay, yup. We’re mono now. Deal with it. Let Sabrina know the best way you know how.”

“Hey, wait,” I protested. “That’s not fair. You can’t just spring this on me. Stopping now is just going to cause more drama, and you hate drama.”

Nicole froze in place again, only her face changing. Looking me right in the eye, very slowly, a smile spread across her face. A very threatening, ‘I’m going to kill you’ smile. In the blink of an eye, she’d grabbed me by the collar and hoisted me up off the ground.

“And what the hell do you call me having to pretend to know what’s going on and lying to Mr. Scott for you?!” she demanded with an icy tone, dangling me. “Is that drama? Is that fuckin’ drama? Dude hates me as it is. Dude doesn’t believe me as it is. And when I lie for you, the only way to make you look good is to make me look bad. I had to give a speech about why I deserve to keep my damn job. I have to stick my neck out for you all because you have to do things in the dumbest, brattiest way possible. And every fuckin’ time, it bites me in the ass.”

She was shorter than me. My arms were more muscley than hers. How the hell could she do this and make it look so easy?! “Put me down,” I choked. “I’m allowed to think of Sabrina’s feelings too. Or mine.”

While hoisting me up, Nicole retrieved my keys out of my pocket with her other hand. “You’re certainly allowed,” she agreed, only putting me down afterwards. “I’m allowed to change my mind, too. We’re only open because we agreed to be open. I decided to stop sleeping with other guys, and that suited you just fine.”

“So you’re not open?!” the voice of Jason asked from the doorway.

Both of us turned to face him. Nicole emitted a grunt of pure frustration. “Oh my God, leave me and my life alone, you worm,” she spat, pushing him back inside the Spartacus Room and closing the door, holding it closed with her hand. I heard sounds of resistance from the other side of the doorway. Nicole didn’t seem fazed by it. 

I hesitated, looking at the door for a bit before shrugging and opting to continue the conversation. “It’s different now,” I argued. “Now that Sabrina and I started, it’s hard to put that genie back in the bottle.”

“Adam, it’s okay to admit you just don’t want to stop having sex with her,” Nicole replied, surprisingly calmly.

I stared at her for a bit. “Okay, actually, yes,” I conceded. “I want to keep having sex with Sabrina.”

“Cool, thanks for being honest,” Nicole replied with a muted, lipless, all-business smile, and a pause. “I forbid it.”

“What?!” I couldn’t believe this. “This sounds like jealousy.”

“It’s not. It’s me being tired of your shit. It’s me asking you to do something and always having to say it three extra times. Forgive me for taking things into my own hands.”

“That’s exactly what you said I shouldn’t do!” I yelled. 

“Yeah, the playing field is kinda different when you’re comparing texting girls incessantly when they’re not fawning over you twenty-four-seven and preventing your boyfriend from getting in trouble for fucking on school property.” She let go of the door handle, and the door immediately swung open. I heard Jason fall onto the floor from inside the room. “Too many people already know. Captain Worm here knows. He could corroborate the story to Mr. Scott.”

Thank fuck Jason had his epiphany. Nicole dumbly saying that out loud could have been the perfect fuel Jason needed. Instead, he emerged from the room, rubbing his backside gingerly. “Why are you such a bitch?”

“I’ve always been a bitch!” she growled. “Welcome to me, jackass.” She turned back to me. “Anyone who knows about you, about what you and Sabrina did, are liabilities. If this were the mafia, this is where we’d have to whack Jason here.”

Jason turned to me. “You know what, man, I actually feel sorry for you. If doing stuff with Sabrina gets her angry, I say do it.”

Nicole stared straight ahead, her face becoming completely blank. I turned to Jason and mouthed the word ‘run,’ and he took the hint, leaving myself and Nicole, who was breathing heavily.

She waited until Jason was gone, and inhaled and exhaled noisily a few times, closing and slowly re-opening her eyes. She looked at me, then her face went neutral, and she slowly started to walk away.

“Hey,” I called out, following her. 

She was singing to herself as she kept walking. “I wish that everything was gold,” she sang out loud in a quiet voice, completely ignoring me. “I wish yoooou, were here to hooold…”

“Nicole,” I pressured, walking in front of her and stopping, trapping her. 

She tried to sidestep away, but I made sure I was in front of her no matter what she did. Eventually, she closed her eyes slowly again, standing in place. “Adam, whenever I tell you to not do something because it affects me, and you do it anyway, that’s a breach of trust,” she said in a soft, pained voice. “You’re just too stupid to understand that. And that hurts.”

“Calling me stupid hurts,” I countered.

“Good,” she replied, opening her eyes. “I kind of want you to hurt right now. It’s the only way you learn sometimes.”

I didn’t say anything and she kept walking. Eventually, I sighed and kept walking beside her. “What were you singing?”

“Did you like it?” she asked in the same soft voice. It sounded like she was a million miles away, barely registering me.

“Yeah.”

“Wishing. Electric Light Orchestra.”

“That’s cool. I like your singing. You’re a good singer.”

Nicole didn’t say anything and kept walking. I decided to keep talking. “Will I need to find another ride home?”

“No, I’ll drive you,” she replied softly. “But after that, I think we need a break for a few days.”

“Okay,” I admitted. “I’m, uh, sorry. I’ll be monogamous for you.”

“No you won’t,” she said, her voice floaty and emotionless. “Go ahead. Do what you want. I won’t cover for you, and you will reap what you sow. That’s a good compromise. That’s what couples do. They compromise.”

“No, you’re right. I’ll be monogamous. Or, if you don’t want to stop this, I’ll only do stuff with Sabrina outside of school. It’s not fair that you’re getting in trouble for me.”

Weirdly, Nicole looked even more pained when I said that. I wasn’t expecting that, so I protested. “What?! I’m agreeing with what you said.”

“Not when I first said it. After I got mad. Not when I told you that I took the fall for you. Only when you saw me getting angry at you.” She stopped and turned to me. “Adam, are you sure that we’re really couple material?”

My breath caught in my throat. “Hey, stop,” I croaked. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’m just bad at things sometimes. I’m being an idiot, but I can be better.”

“Being better would be cool,” she replied in her floaty, high, disinterested voice. We kept walking until we got to the doors. “At least you’re being a good friend for Megan.”

“What?? I’m an awful friend to her.”

“When we met on Monday, she told me that if she hadn’t met with you before the break was over, she doesn’t know what she would have done. She said that no matter what, she knows you’ll be there for her.” She opened the door for me. “You are the most inconsistent person I’ve ever met in my life.”

I scoffed. “I like to think of it as, ‘full of surprises,’” I joked.

Nicole slowly smiled, then ran her free hand through my hair. “Yeah,” she murmured.

***

Nicole wasn’t kidding when she said she wanted to take a break. Even when her friend Sydney hosted her next party, Nicole told me she wouldn’t be there. After a lengthy discussion where she said she wasn’t going, and I said I wouldn’t go if it meant she would go, and she clarified that she wouldn’t be going even if I wasn’t, I elected to go anyway. Parties wern’t actually bad at this point for me, and plus, there was another person going who I wanted to talk to.

Sydney was still a bit of a novice when it came to hosting parties and being popular, but she wanted to lean into it, and she was doing a good job. When I got there, I was assaulted by the usual wall of sound and sea of bodies, but this time, it was a lot more bearable, and before long, I was slowly sipping on a beer while hanging out with Sydney, Rick, and a couple of their friends in the kitchen.

Halfway through a conversation, the person I wanted to talk to walked in. She took a cup from the kitchen counter, and I could have believed she was going to fill it with beer, but to my relief, she filled it with water instead. 

“Hey Megan,” I said, almost nervously.

“Hi,” she replied, cool as a cucumber.

“Glad you could make it,” Sydney added. Megan smiled at Sydney, but didn’t say much more, electing to become a backseat figure in our group conversation. I smiled, happy at least that New Megan wasn’t going to just be cold and detached or whatever, but the smile quickly faded when I saw someone in the crowd looking at her.

That someone was Zelda. I wasn’t shocked that someone with her social skills came to the party, and who knows, maybe she came just for Megan, but I figured I should have at least given her the heads-up. I quickly opened my phone and typed a message – “Zelda is here. She’s looking at you.”

“Hey Megan, you may want to look at this,” I said, putting a hand on her shoulder – then immediately retracting it, knowing Zelda was staring at us and not wanting to send the wrong message – and showing her my phone. Megan looked at it, and not looking away, took my phone to add a word of her own.

“Who?”

I frowned as she typed it. She handed it back to me and shrugged, returning to the conversation. Sighing, I stepped out of the conversation and approached Zelda, not caring how little she may have wanted to speak to me.

“I know she doesn’t want to talk to me,” Zelda told me. “It’s okay.”

“It’s definitely not okay,” I replied. “I feel bad. But also… I’m not the reason she cut things off. I wanted to say that.”

Zelda shrugged, looking me right in the eye. “You’re not the only reason,” she corrected me. “I’m not an idiot, Adam. I get that Megan doesn’t want to be seen as… that. I’m not even out. I only tell people I trust.”

“It’s private, yeah,” I agreed, taking a sip of my beer.

“More like, I don’t want people excluding me from their friend groups and calling me a dyke when I do tell them,” she added bitterly. “So I don’t take those chances.”

“Carson was in the wrong to say that,” I said instinctively.

Zelda rolled her eyes. “Wow, what a hero,” she replied sarcastically. “That’s obvious. Have you confronted him about it? Did you actually take a stance?”

“I can.”

Zelda shook her head. “Until you do, you’re taking his side. This isn’t a he-said-she-said. Carson doesn’t like that I exist right now. I want to keep living my life, Carson… doesn’t. There’s no Switzerland there. Until you take my side, you’re taking his.”

“Switzerland?”

“It’s a Twilight thing,” she replied. 

“Mm.” I took another sip. “Have you ever been to Switzerland?”

“Don’t talk to me like we’re friends, please,” Zelda replied in a quieter voice, barely audible over the music. It was amazing how we could have such a private conversation with people all around us, and know no one could hear us. 

“We are friends,” I asserted. “This is just a… difficult chapter. And Carson said those things, not me. I get that you’re angry, but c’mon. I want to be your friend.”

“You wanted to ask me out.”

“Yeah, and maybe you’ll notice, after it’s been made abundantly clear that we won’t be going out, I still want to be your friend,” I countered. “It’s not like I want to go out with you or be your friend. I can want both. Nicole and I are together, but we’re best friends too.”

“I’m not sure if I trust that,” she replied. “Can you get me a beer?”

I half-smiled. “I thought I wasn’t your friend,” I replied sarcastically.

Zelda rolled her eyes and made a step towards the kitchen, but I held my arm in front of her and made a gesture, as if to say, ‘okay, okay, I’ll do it.’ I went back to the kitchen, retrieved a beer – I had to pay for it – and returned to Zelda, giving it to her.

“Thanks,” Zelda replied, then in a complete power move, walked away with it. I couldn’t do anything but chuckle. Well played, Zelda. 

From that point on, I was a lone wolf. I wandered around the party, observing, feeling like Paul did last year. Most of what I observed was the usual party behavior; drinking, bopping to music, talking and laughing, with the occasional couple sneaking off into the basement. 

I shrugged. Go where the action is, I guess. I walked into the basement to see it was where a lot of the spare rooms in Sydney’s place were. This party wasn’t a hormone factory like Phil’s parties were, but there was a couple making out on the couch, and only a few of the spare rooms had open doors. I looked around, and to my utter shock, I found Athena.

“Oh, hey,” I clumsily said, walking over to her. “Didn’t expect to see you two here. Where’s Jason?”

“Hey Adam,” Athena replied. “Jason isn’t here. I’m just on my own. You here with Nicole?”

“Nope.”

“Sabrina?”

“Nope.”

“Megan?”

“I mean, she’s here, but as her own agent,” I said with a small chuckle. “I’m a lone wolf. So is Megan.”

“Lone wolf, huh?” She replied, eyeing her beer. “Join the pack, I guess.”

I looked around. “Do you often hang out in basements with couples making out?”

She chuckled. “There were, uh, video games down here. They stopped a bit ago, but it was fun to watch.”

I looked around. Sure enough, there was some kind of games console hooked up to a TV. The couch in front of it was now solely occupied by a couple, joined at the lips. “And now you’re here to watch the show?” I teased.

“Yup, complete voyeur, you got me,” Athena joked back, the both of us giggling. “Nah. I just like it down here. I don’t even know why I like parties, but this is the best room. Yeah, it’s got… that, but also, people come down here wanting a break from the crowd, and I get to talk to them. Talking is nice.”

Yeah, I bet talking to people one-on-one is nice when your boyfriend forbids it fifty percent of the time. Speaking of… “So I guess Jason lets you talk to boys now?” I asked.

“Enh.” She shrugged. “We haven’t really actually addressed it.”

“He talked to me the other day. He sounded apologetic. Apparently someone told him about what she thought she saw in Room 203.”

“Hey,” Athena interjected playfully, taking a sip. “I didn’t ‘see’ anything. And what you do with her is your own business.”

“Ha, fair enough,” I replied heartily, going to take another sip of beer. It was nice to know we weren’t spied on.

“I heard a lot though.”

I choked on my beer. I didn’t even think about that. “H-heard?”

“Do you think the room is soundproof?” Athena laughed. “Yeah. If I was awkward or something, it’s because I heard a lot of… well, a lot of… you know.”

“Yeah, I think I can imagine,” I replied, rubbing the back of my neck. I imagine that was what got us caught. “That’s actually really good info.” Turns out Megan and Zelda were smart. Moaning is a pretty loud activity. Kissing, less so.”Let’s switch topics. If you and Jason haven’t addressed it, why is he allowing you to… I mean, not that you would need permission…”

“Yeah, you nailed it. He wouldn’t allow it.” Athena looked down at her beer and slowly swirled it, then eyed a free couch. “C’mon. If we don’t take it, some freshmen will.” We walked over to the couch and sat down on it, with Athena sighing and wiggling in place, getting comfortable. “But what you said renovated with me. Resovated. Reservated…?”

“Resonated.”

“It made sense,” she clarified. “It was like, ‘yeah, why am I letting my life get ruled like that?’”

“But you’re still with him? Don’t you think the best course of action is to break up with him? Then you’re actually a lone wolf at parties.”

“I’m actually a lone wolf at parties anyway,” she confidently shot back. We watched another duo come downstairs – Zelda and some girl. When Zelda’s eyes met with mine, she resolved to look anywhere but at me. Eventually, the other girl and her just resolved to standing in the corner and talking.

“Hmm,” Athena murmured out loud. I turned back to see that Athena had been waving to her. “She ignored me.”

“She’s going through a lot right now,” I replied diplomatically.

“Okay,” Athena said with a shrug. “Anyway, yeah. I want to stay with Jason, because, like, he’s got his good side and I like being with him. I just don’t like the other parts, and I want to… get a little control back, you know?”

“I… guess.”

“Whenever things get bad with Nicole, do you want to break up with her?” she asked me.

“Definitely not!” I instinctively replied.

“There, see?” she replied. “We’re the same.”

“I feel like that’s a way different thing,” I replied. “Plus, there’s so many layers to it. Nicole is super popular, she’s basically my neighbor, we’re an open couple…”

“It’s all the same if you ask me,” Athena replied. “Love is love is love.”

“Do you love Jason?”

Athena stared at me for a bit. “I don’t know,” she finally said. “I don’t have to know, I guess.”

“Well, if you introduce yourself at a party as a lone wolf and not taken, I dunno, it sends a bit of a message.”

“Hey, I’m not pretending I’m single or something,” Athena noted. “Besides, everyone does it anyway.”

“Everyone does not,” I protested.

“Have you ever cheated on a girl?” Athena asked me.

“Well…” I squeezed my eyes shut. “That was a complicated-”

“So, yes,” Athena cut me off. “Everyone has their reasons, but barely anyone says no. And half of the people that say no are lying.”

“So have you cheated on Jason?” I asked.

“Not yet, but like, yeah, I might,” Athena told me boldly, her face oozing confidence. It was actually kind of cute. “Will you judge me if I do?”

“A little, yeah.”

“Then what can I say? Sorry, I guess. Do you judge yourself for the time you ch-”

“Yes! Like, every day!” I replied forcefully.

Athena shook her head. “I think you need to let that stuff go. I bet the person you cheated on doesn’t even care all that much anymore.”

“Only because I did so much other stuff to make her upset,” I grumbled.

“Still… I dunno, I think you and Nicole have it right. We want to do stuff with a lot of people. At least you two are being honest about it.”

I laughed. “Nope. It caused so much drama for us. During my last conversation with Nicole, she wanted to be mono again just so we could stop making things so complicated.”

“Oh, so are you mono?”

“No, we didn’t finalize anything.”

“Cool.” With a sudden show of force, Athena reached forward and kissed me. I was so shocked I just froze in place, letting it happen, but when she retracted, concern broke out on my face.

“Are you crazy?!” I asked, looking around. By the grace of God, Zelda and her friend were gone, and didn’t see anything. Because we were on one of the two kissing couches, Athena and I blended in and effectively hid in plain sight, but still, if anyone knew either one of us, we could get in serious trouble. “I only just convinced Jason I’m not trying to do anything with you!”

“And you’re not!” Athena replied, smiling, matter-of-factly. “You didn’t try anything. In fact, you didn’t even kiss me back.” She paused. “Do you not like me?”

“No, I like you, but- wait, what kind of like?”

“Um… either?”

“I definitely like you as a friend and… uh…”

“If you don’t like me and I shouldn’t have kissed you, just say that,” Athena replied. “It’s cool. It’s whatever.”

I stared at her. The longer I stared, the more clear it was that I was supposed to say something. “I…” I sputtered. Why couldn’t I say it? 

Athena’s smile got bigger the more I hesitated. “You…?”

“I don’t know how to answer this,” I admitted. “I think if you were single, I’d feel differently, but I also know that if you broke up with Jason then immediately kissed me, I’d feel-”

“Then I’ll stay with Jason,” Athena said, matter-of-factly. “And what we did didn’t happen.”

I frowned. Jason accusing me felt so much more real now. I felt like I had so much less of a leg to stand on. In a weird way, his paranoia was right. Or maybe it only came true because he was paranoid…?

“Okay,” I conceded, not knowing how else this even could play out. I could have been the bigger person and told Jason like I did last year, but Carson was more mature. It was amazing Carson was more mature than anyone, but the bar was low. If Jason clocked me in the face after thinking it was possible I was hitting on Athena, and we only just “made up,” even we even didn’t really make up, then I was not about to chance it by going, “by the way, your girly kissed me.”

I stared at Athena, then looked around the room. Barely anyone was left, and I didn’t recognize anyone there. “Yeah, didn’t happen,” I agreed, mostly to myself. “I didn’t even know you wanted to kiss me.”

“I mean, you’re attractive, and I feel like I’m missing out. I know you got experience, so like, why not?” she replied with a shrug. “It’s not like it’s anything serious. Or anything big. I still care about Jason as much as I did before kissing you. It’s just kissing.”

I stared into Athena’s eyes. She stared back, and dramatically flipped her short auburn hair instead of saying anything. Eventually, I slowly got up, and grabbed her hand with mine. “Maybe we should talk somewhere more private,” I told her, motioning to one of the rooms with the door open.

I didn’t know if Athena thought I was insinuating something, or if she thought my intentions were honorable. I sure thought my intentions were honorable, but as soon as the door closed, something clicked inside my brain.

I was an overthinker, and a people pleaser. I got punched in the face and ordered around all because I was trying to balance everything. I had my morals and they only punished me. What if I wanted to actually want things? What if I wanted to say “fuck it”?

So I did. As soon as the door closed, Athena was against the wall, gleefully accepting my lips on hers, our bodies grinding against each other. She was just as eager as I was, if not more, and she was definitely bold, grabbing my hair or my ass as we made out, her tongue exploring my mouth, even groping me over my pants and feeling my huge hard cock for herself.

And I didn’t stop her. I didn’t stop her once. I never wanted to. I didn’t even feel guilty for her infidelity. I could have overthought it, but fuck it, my friends kept reinventing themselves. Why couldn’t I? Why couldn’t I enjoy myself? Why couldn’t I, a guy in an open relationship, just make out with one of my cute friends and not care what others thought? I had lived enough for other people. I wanted to live for myself for once.

---

These stories are made possible by the generous patrons at my Patreon. If you enjoy reading these stories, please consider contributing to my Patreon to help keep me writing and get yourself a few perks along the way.

<<Previous Chapter

<<Back