I’m Not Doing Well

Both this blog and the creative blog haven’t received an update in around a month. I was kind of stupid to take over the duty of writing that blog post, but I’ll be sure to update it as soon as I finish this blog post. When things go south for me I have a tendency to keep to myself and shut off communication from the outside world – not a good trait for the public figure I fantasize being.

The last blog post has a more ominous tone to it now seeing as it was the last one for a while. My family troubles haven’t gone away, there are certain things in life that shouldn’t matter that give me a headache daily, and on top of it all, since losing my job, I haven’t found one. Tweed even found one in this period after finishing school, which while not his fault at all, stings me quite a bit.

This month has been difficult for me. Writing during this period, while normally my therapy of sorts, has been more difficult than ever. I wrote the entirety of chapter 20, but it was bad. My regular critics thought it was bad, and I thought it was bad. I didn’t want to leave Being More Social on a bad note since this is the last chapter, so I threw it away. I don’t even want to show it to you all as a ‘possible ending,’ because it would just leave a bad taste in your mouth. So I’ve started to rewrite it. I’m about 2000 words in. It contains enough unexpected moments and ‘twists’ that I guess I’ve become known for, and so far I’m much happier with it, although once I’m finished I’ll run it through my critics to make sure it’s passable. I would rather keep ytou all waiting than serve you bad stories. I feel like I can do better than that.

The first step is getting a job again. Then the second step will be Being More Social’s ending. I’m sorry I couldn’t get it out in time for March, and I’m doubly sorry that the first draft I wrote was so bad that it’s taking more time than usual. I’m in a bad headspace right now, and I think I need to get out of the house more.

I suppose the good news is, there’s nowhere to go from here but up. Thank you all so much for having the patience you do, and I’ll be sure to talk to you all again soon. ❤

2 thoughts on “I’m Not Doing Well

  1. Thank you for your honesty. Like everyone reading this, I hope you emerge from the dark days and find things coming together for you very soon.

    A word about the story. I’ve really been enjoying reading it, and feel like I can’t wait for the final chapter. But here’s the thing. I can wait, actually, and I’ll have to. You owe your readers (not talking about your patrons of course) NOTHING. We owe you a lot for the ride you’ve given us through Adam’s freshman year. In Adam you’ve created a recognisably vulnerable adolescent. In Nicole, if all works out, we may have one of the ‘great’ characters of modern erotic fiction. I say ‘may’ because as an earlier poster pointed out there are still gaps in our knowledge of her psyche and we can only hope these gaps will be plugged in a way that makes her fully believable.

    Even if the story is never finished (God forbid) it will still rank high in it’s coming-of-age category. The nearest competitor, or perhaps comparator – it shouldn’t be a competition – for me is ‘Spitfire and Messerschmitt’ by Gina Marie Wylie which was never finished. But don’t get me wrong: I’m really eager to read the end – but only when you’re ready.

    THanks for the effort you make and the pleasure you bring.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your kind words.

      I’m as nervous about you when it comes to making sure Nicole’s character lives up to expectations in particular.


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