Revising My Memories

When I’m working to create stories but also try to have everything remain as consistent as possible, a few things are important to me. One is making sure that I always try my hardest to know what I’m talking about. That would be why during my older essays I included things like ‘that’s how I write stories, others can do things differently’ etc. It’s not only an acknowledgement that there’s no one way to write, it’s also a safety net.

Keeping that in mind, it’s rare that I read the same erotica story twice. There have been a few emails to me asking why I read erotica, whether I read it as a critic or just to masturbate, etc. I will say for the record that I basically never read erotica to masturbate at this point. I get too sucked into it and try to live in that world, and kind of forget about my own hormones for a second in lieu of the hormones of the story, as weirdly cheesy as that sounds.

Side note: There’s a weird trend that some writers have where they’ll break the immersion of the story to add an author’s note in the middle of the god damn story to tell the readers they had to take a break from writing because they made themselves so horny they just had to masturbate. Number one, thanks for sharing, bro. I really needed to know that. Number two, thanks for breaking the immersion of the story to say that – I don’t know whether some writers think this makes a story sexier or what. Like, maybe to them it’s a sort of “I had to masturbate because of this, don’t you feel the same way…?” Number three, I’m amazed you had to masturbate at all considering how much you’re sucking your own dick by typing that. “You know the whole reason you picked up a sex story? Well, my story was so good that I just had to do that myself, and I’m writing the story! Ha!” I legitimately have a blacklist of authors who inserted this into their stories, and I pledge to never read their work again on the grounds that if they think that’s not the worst idea ever for something to put into a story then I’m never going to get anything valuable from them.

Anyway, back to the main topic. When/if I do read a sex story again, I usually pick back up on the themes it presented me, kind of like a weird nostalgia. Chris and Christie, available to read at, reads very high school-y. Because the majority of my work takes place beyond high school now, I have some strategies, like watching Glee (worst show ever) or reading stories like that to transport myself back to high school, or at least capture the feeling.

So to see what feelings I’d recapture I decided, despite my utter disgust with themes of incest, to pick up An Incest Birthday the other day because I remembered that in an older essay I held it up as a better example of storytelling from

I don’t think I have ever been more wrong in my life.

It’s terrible. It’s so very unforgivably terrible. Maybe I just thought it was good at the time of me first reading it because I was a lot younger and the website didn’t have any thoroughly impressing stories to offer, but it’s an absolutely sinful wreck. It’s a veritable checklist of things I don’t like about stories – It begins with the whole ‘let me tell you about myself’ thing, describes the protagonists’s sister including the term ‘a perfect ass’ then says “I never saw her in a sexual way…” You sure about that? Then it goes on to introduce paper-thin characters with weird forced dialogue and even more forced ‘no really, we’re getting along’ style relationships, then it does this weird “Me: <dialogue> Her: <dialogue>” thing for a conversation. I hate that in stories when it’s used for text messages, let alone a face-to-face conversation.

In an earlier essay of mine, I held up this story as a shining example of storytelling in erotica. Now I feel like I can barely hold my head up knowing I said that. I was so very utterly wrong. It’s made me alarmed for what else I have assumed incorrectly, and now I just might have to make a list of the stories I read a long time ago to make sure I remember them correctly.

I’m not sure if there’s a greater meaning to this, I just felt like that would be a decent thing to talk about this week. Reread the erotica you find great (including my older work). You just may end up surprised. Always hold writing pieces accountable for their quality, not the memories you had reading them when you were 13. Boy, did I ever learn that the hard way. Sorry for the lateness of this week’s post, all. I’ll talk to you later this week.

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