Chapters of Life

Week17

Sorry about the missed week and then being late with the blog post this week, especially given my last blog post was so early in the week. Hell of a time for me to leave a 14+ day period between blog posts, shortly after I confessed my suicidal tendencies online. Well, hey, for better or for worse, I’m not dead.

Largely I missed last week’s blog post because I was helping a friend move, and dealing with a transitional stage of my life. These past few weeks have been something of a weird moment for me. I helped a friend move out, hours away, and effectively said goodbye to not only one good friend, but many friends in my life. I put all my eggs in one basket and most of my friends were in one singular group. So when the time came that I inevitably wasn’t involved with that group anymore, I found myself realizing that apart from chats on Facebook or whatever, I wouldn’t be seeing these people much anymore. A new chapter was beginning.

That said, if a new chapter was beginning, it would appear I got writer’s block. The past few days have been spent entirely alone in my house (not the wisest move to make when one is suicidal, I realize) and now I’m fully grappling that I won’t see a lot of my old friends regularly ever again, and if a new chapter is coming, I need to go out and do things with new people. I’ll be trying that this week.

It’s interesting how life goes through stages. High school was a stage, then when I moved out and started university, I went to another stage, where very few old friends carried over into my new life. Now I’m in a very similar situation again. Very few friends will be carrying over and really all I have from that stage that did carry over are my more refined sense of personal direction and experiences. It’s not like I’m any more likely inherently to succeed, or I took friends with me. I’m just bobbing in the water as the tide of life carries me from one beach to another. I don’t really know how to feel about this. I’m still processing it. Right now, I feel sad, but with my condition, that’s expected. I’m trying to get over this slump I’ve found myself in and get back to writing because hey, Only If You Want is the next piece I’m releasing, and I project it to be over 20k words. That’s a lot. Here’s hoping I finish it in time. I’ll talk to you all next week.

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