Mutual Benefits Chapter 18 was just published! Go read it before reading this.
A lot of the time, when it comes to flow and the genuine feeling of real emotion in writing, the two tend to go hand in hand. When you feel something truly real, it feels like the writing is completely effortless. The fog has cleared and it’s all so evident what needs to be written, and how.
This chapter in particular was an interesting challenge because the opposite took place. Whenever I felt something truly real from the characters, it felt like the flow of my writing (and possibly the flow of the story from your reading perspective, but that’s up to your opinion) slowed down. I found that I spent a lot of time lingering on certain moments of high emotion, and I found myself doing what I don’t often do – rewriting dialogue.
Dialogue is, normally, the part of writing that comes to me the most naturally. I don’t do well in a lot of areas, but my dialogue seems to hit the spot in a lot of erotica circles. I almost worry if the dialogue in this chapter will potentially suffer just as easily as it will potentially excel given this seismic shift; the dialogue was hard to capture, not because I didn’t feel the emotions as strongly, but seemingly because I felt them too much and felt I may have not conveyed them to the extent I wanted.
I don’t worry much about this story. Now that there are factions of people that want more drama, factions that want less drama, never-Morgans, and pro-Morgans, this story need only follow my voice. Knowing I’ll disappoint readers sets me free in a way that I never felt in any other story since other stories had largely a singular following, wanting a singular outcome. I do worry about this chapter. Maybe it’s unfounded, but I worry that I’ll need to sharpen my tools and work on managing the emotions of this story. Taking in less and sharing more.
Of course, this could all be paranoia. Maybe this chapter is as strong as the others. Perhaps it’s less strong, but due to other factors. Perhaps it’s even stronger. And perhaps it’s not that big a deal since the next chapter will be along before we know it. I’ll talk to you all next week.