[New Chapter Posted!] Unlearning to Apologize

The first thoughts I had when I first finished Mutual Benefits Chapter 20 while looking it over were of all of the things I could have done. Could I have paced it better? Could I have included this one extra scene? Should I have padded this one scene? I’m trying to unlearn all that. I took a deep breath and tried to remember a mantra I’ve been trying to teach myself lately.

It’s enough. Some people won’t feel that way, but it’s rarely the case that all people do.

I think I have this weird notion that every chapter in a story of mine has to be the best one so far, which of course sounds ridiculous when said aloud like that, but is hard to unlearn for me. Even when I read multi-chapter sex stories other people have written, I rarely consider the last chapter the best… and yet.

So, here we are. This is the twentieth and final chapter of Mutual Benefits. It ended the way it did, and above all, I’m not going to entertain ideas, particularly in my own head, that it ended ‘the wrong way.’ It didn’t. It ended exactly as my mind showed me, and the only improvements that could be made were my ability to tell that story effectively. If you liked it, I’m glad. If you didn’t, don’t worry, I’ll keep trying to make my next stories better.

It’ll be nice to pick up another story next month and not have as much baggage of an already established couple that has been through their fair share of drama… unless, of course, the most popular requested story gets voted on next month, in which case, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Spoiler alert, if trends in my Patreon voting can be believed, I’m likely going to start Consequences (the sequel to Being More Social) next month.

That itself is a huge reason for my to unlearn apologizing every time I post a chapter: I’d say over half of my readers that started with Being More Social are going to dislike Consequences. It’s not the same story, and I have a feeling a lot of people want more of the same. As well, a lot of factors fell into place with Being More Social, a lot of which hinged on my relative starry-eyed inexperience with writing at the time. I won’t be able to recreate that the second time around, and I elect not to, because trying will only create a stroy I’ll be even less proud of.

I kind of wish I could wipe all expectations of me clean off the slate and start anew. I feel like a lot of people predict how the general feel of my stories will be, and then I either disappoint people when it’s exactly as they expected, or I disappoint other people when it’s nothing like they expected. I hate disappointing people. I want to bring them joy, but I also want to tell the stories I want to tell. I’m sure nearly every author can relate to this on some level.

This is a lengthy blog post to say, “I want to please people, I’m insecure, and I’m greatly affected when I disappoint people due to their expectations of the story.” Unlearning that will be an adventure, not one of two blog posts. Quinn ended up with who he ended up with. No apologies. The story’s end was a great hint at the future, but carried a certain ambiguity. No apologies again. The characters at the end weren’t the same characters who started out the story, and might even have changed the themes of the story that made you originally start reading. No apologies. I hope the ending does the story justice, and perhaps I should go into posting a chapter not assuming it’s going to disappoint people, but rather, to go into it assuming some people will like it and be glad for the time they spent with Quinn, Morgan, Taylor, and the others. I know I’m glad that I spent time with them, but now, it’s time to move on. I’ll talk to you all next week.

3 thoughts on “[New Chapter Posted!] Unlearning to Apologize

  1. It’s enough.

    Actually, it’s a very good ‘resolution’ and whileI’ll be interested, some day, to hear more about Quinn, Morgan and Taylor as their lives intersect more loosely, I’m more keen on knowing what happens to Adam and Nicole (hint hint). You’ve done a really good job taking us through teen dramas (which were not part of my life at that stage – and I probably wouldn’t remember if they were) to a new level of maturity for all our protagonists. And that’s what good fiction/drama is all about.

    Really looking forward to whatever you choose to write next.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I enjoyed the ending, it was well done.

    I’ve been reading your stores since you were posting Being More Social on xxnx and I gotta say Mutual Benefits is one of my favorites. I was shocked to hear you were writing a sequel to Being More Social (hopefully Megan makes an appearance!) and I can’t wait to read it.

    Liked by 1 person

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