I could see why Jess was weird about Kelsea and me hanging out: it was really hard not to get jealous when Kelsea only had plans with Jess and I got to see the two of them running around and giggling with each other and having their own fun. After Monday, Kelsea didn’t make another Runescape plan with me, so I just accepted that and waited…
…And waited…
…And waited. Before I knew it, almost two full days had gone by. I was doing my best to distract my mind from it and pretend I had any life to go back to, but the more I tried to do other things, the more I realized how uninteresting other things were now that I got to both hang out with a friend and discuss jacking it with the hottest girl I knew. The real haymaker came when I saw her in the halls on Wednesday near the end of lunch.
She didn’t see me at first; she was just looking straight ahead, her lips slightly parted in this concentrated pout as she walked. Eventually, we got close enough that her eyes naturally shifted and before I knew it, she got firsthand evidence that I was staring at her.
She did what Kelsea did best: she pretended everything was totally normal. She gave me an innocent little smile, but didn’t say anything more and kept walking. It was kind of dumb of me to expect anything else: we hung out twice, and she was in another whole league at school. I mean, the higher grades had their own cliques and circles and groups. The seniors, even the less popular ones like her, had established groups. I was running out of time to find any kind of solid group at all; freshman year was almost done. Soon, it would pass me by like Kelsea was doing at this very moment. Before I knew it, she passed me by, leaving her scent in the air.
It wasn’t even perfume. It was just her scent. Fuck, I was down bad. I needed a hobby or something. Then again, my hobby before my slight obsession with Kelsea was jacking off in the living room, so hey, this one was an upgrade.
Still, a new one couldn’t hurt. Both of my last two hobbies I acquired had a serious chance of scaring Kelsea off for life, and I only got by on the skin of my teeth as it was. Maybe I could… just experiment with my style. See what could be my next new hobby.
Now, the eternal debate: was this going to be a hobby I had to go outside to do, or was I going to be a loser and get a hobby I could do in my room?
***
My room. Duh. Going outside? Being more social? This wasn’t 2012. Hard pass.
There’s a surprising number of hobbies you can acquire if you have a computer and an internet connection. Writing, coding, making music on software you totally legally got online… it was a neat world.
I wasn’t, y’know, very good at any of those things, but hey, I did them. I got to say I made things before, and that was kind of cool, even if I wasn’t talented at all at any of them. So what was another dumb hobby? After all, Blender was free, and I always wanted to try out 3D modeling. So I downloaded Blender and did what everyone did first: I made a donut.
It was actually kind of fun. Plus, it took my mind off of things, especially since it had now been a week since Kelsea and I hung out for the second time. Clearly I was too weird and she wanted to let me down easy, without The Talk or something.
Or she just forgot. “It was fun but then life got in the way. I’ve moved on.” I could picture it kind of vividly in my head. And hey, that was totally fair enough. She had her own life. I could look after my own. I already had that covered for the last sixteen years or so.
But then, of course, life finds a way.
I was so locked into my work that I didn’t hear the knock on my door. Or see the door open. But I sure felt the resistance in my chair when someone grabbed the back of it, and I felt my heart skip a beat when I detected a familiar scent, then saw a golden curl of hair out of the corner of my eye. I looked behind me, barely believing it for a multitude of reasons – Kelsea was suddenly right behind me, peeking over my shoulder.
“Wha- Jesus!” I nearly physically jumped.
Kelsea wasn’t fazed. “You’re either a day late or six early to mention him, my guy,” she calmly retorted. “So what’s this, you make this yourself?”
I was too busy catching my breath to think to respond. I just sputtered, then tried to form a sentence, even though wheezes came out.
Kelsea met my wheezing with a grin. “Damn, I really got you, huh?”
My mind went on autopilot. “Day late or six early to say the d-word, huh?” I breathlessly tried to quip.
Kelsea gave me a sarcastic, ‘you sure?’ look. “Pretty sure ‘Jesus’ is in a lot more prayers than ‘damn,’ St. Thomas Aquinas,” she quipped back. “Hey, by the way. Been a while.”
“Yeah…” I breathed, not knowing what to say. She was just talking to me again, like it was nothing. “You’re… in my room…”
“Yeah, I guess I am,” she replied. “I, uh, knocked, and the door was ajar, so it opened when I knocked, and… yup, here I am.”
I looked back at the screen, then back to her, and felt my ears burn. “I guess I should feel lucky I was actually doing something safe-for-work this time, huh?”
Kelsea did something she didn’t normally do: she paused and looked away. “Yeah,” she quietly replied. “Uh, sorry. I totally should have knocked louder. That’s, uh, my bad.”
Oookay, definitely changed her mind on talking about that with me. “Hey, uh, all good,” I replied quickly. “If anything, um – I’m, uh, s-sorry for saying that. So quickly. Or at all. Uh, sorry.”
“Hey, you don’t – you don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Kelsea replied. “In fact, I, uh, wanted to come in to, um, say I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” I repeated. “For what?”
“Well, I mean, last time we hung out, I, uh…” Kelsea was blushing. Kelsea was… stumbling over her words. “I may have crossed some lines. Like, that’s why you were kinda quiet this week, right?”
“Huh?” I blurted out. “Quiet?”
“Y’know, I figured, if you wanted to Scape it up again you’d ask, but then, y’know, it’s been a week, so like…” She stood up straight and put her hands in front of her. “Just saying, message received, and like, I just wanted to say I still totally value you as a friend. I never wanted to hurt you or anything, and-”
“Kelsea, I think we got something backwards,” I told her. I opened my mouth to speak again, but then eyed the door.
Kelsea eyed the door, then me, then the door again. Reading my mind, she got up and closed it. “Jess is at the store anyway,” she offered as she closed it.
I gave a single chuckle of appreciation for her. Even so, I waited until the door was fully closed to speak. “I just thought you would tell me if you wanted to hang out again. You’re the senior, you’re the popu- like, you have bigger priorities and stuff.”
“Oh my God, my dude, no!” Kelsea scoffed, with a regretful smile on her face. “I was waiting for you to say something, ya big doof! I chose-”
“Me?”
“-the last few times we hung out, so it was your turn! Then when you didn’t say anything for a bit, I just figured…”
I paused. “…What, like I didn’t like talking about… that?”
“Well, yeah! I mean, I’m the older girl, some guys see that and think it’s weird! I mean… it is weird, I guess. And y’know…” She started playing with her hands nervously. “If a guy is uncomfortable with a girl talking about that kind of stuff, especially an older girl, and he tells someone… y’know, I could get in a lot of trouble, you know? Like, if you told anyone, that stuff can spread, and-”
“Kelsea, I’d-”
“-I’d rather we just be upfront with each other before that ever happens, you know?”
“Kelsea, I’d never tell anyone. Ever. In fact, I promise, right now, whatever happens between us, I’ll never tell a soul.”
Kelsea smiled at the offer. “Oh yeah?” she asked, then held up a pinky.
I had to manually breathe to make sure Kelsea couldn’t hear my breathing change when I realized we were going to touch. Hey, at least my hand wasn’t drenched with sweat this time. I extended a pinky and we exchanged a pinky-square.
“Nice,” she murmured, looking at the two hands going up and down. “That’s legally binding, y’know.”
I chuckled, and she let go of my pinky. I pulled my hand back too, making sure not to be weird. “I’m sorry you think I told people, that must have sucked.”
“Nah, it’s all good. You literally did nothing wrong. In fact, why are you apologizing?” she laughed. “I just know that sometimes people can, like, regret that shit the next day, and maybe they feel angry, and maybe they tell people to, like, vent, and…”
I laughed. “I don’t even talk to people, Kelsea,” I admitted.
“Sure, but you have friends, and-”
“They’d-”
“-what if you told them, like, in passing?”
“They’d never believe me,” I admitted. “And I just pinky promised so we’re good anyway.”
Kelsea smiled slowly. “Yeah,” she replied. “Uh, thanks.”
“Goes both ways, right?” I asked jokingly.
“Oh yeah, of course. I mean, we don’t even need to like, talk about it again, if you want. It’s whatever you want. I’m good for it. I just thought, it was fun, you know?” She shrugged. “Maybe I’m making a big deal out of it.”
I paused. My vision blurred for like a half-second, and it felt like my body suddenly got hit with a bolt of lightning. Courage. Courage lightning. “You weren’t lying when you told me you haven’t gotten to talk about this with others, were you?” I asked.
I expected that to catch her off-guard, but she gave me a weak smile instead. “Yeah, I didn’t lie.”
“I, um… like talking about it with you. It’s… fun,” I admitted, feeling like I shouldn’t even be saying this out loud. “It’s even fun just having a little secret. Like, our secret. Like, I dunno, I get we ‘shouldn’t be talking about it,’ but-”
I heard the front door slam. Jess was home. And judging by the way Kelsea’s eyes moved, she heard it too. She looked back from the door into my eyes. “Tomorrow, after school?” she offered.
“I’m free,” I replied a little too quickly.
“Nice. Let’s catch up,” she whispered back as Jess’ footsteps walked past my room.
For some reason, I got this sixth sense for what was going to happen next, and whipped my computer chair back around. “Yeah, so, I’m trying to figure out how to improve my textures,” I told her, a bit too loudly. “The actual modeling is the easy part. But yeah, I made this.”
Somehow, some-fucking-how, even though I’d never done this before in my life, I predicted exactly what happened next. Sure enough, maybe because she overheard me, Jess opened the door. “Oh,” she murmured when she saw Kelsea, confirming both she was looking for her and her surprise at actually finding her in my room. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, Austin was just showing me how he’s been getting into – well, why don’t you show her?” Kelsea asked me in a friendly tone.
I shot her a smirk before turning to Jess. “It’s not much, but I’ve been fooling around with Blender, and I’ve made a few-”
“Oh wow,” Jess murmured, looking from behind my other shoulder. “Yeah, that’s kinda neat! Way to go. Looks good.”
It looked exactly like what you’d expect someone to make after only spending a few days playing with the software, but hey, I’d take it. Jess said ‘way to go’ instead of telling me off, and I made plans with Kelsea. Today was a good day.
***
“The trouble is, mithril armor looks the best, at least if you’re free-to-play,” Kelsea gushed. “I thought I’d like adamantite because it’s green, AKA my favorite color. But as soon as I put it on, I just wanted my mithril back. But… ugh, it’s level twenty armor. That couldn’t even fly in the stronghold of security, you know?”
Kelsea was a lot more opinionated on this game than I was expecting. More shockingly, she’d just been talking about Runescape for the past hour.
Finding that weird almost made me feel more creepy. Like, duh, she doesn’t have the hots for me. She’s having fun talking about this stuff, but it wasn’t like she was waiting for any opportunity to make the subject NSFW. But still… the hottest girl in school (in my perfectly reasonable opinion) was in my room, sitting on my bed, playing a game with me after she talked about jacking off with me last week. What even was life?
Kelsea gave a single chuckle. “You’re, uh, kinda quiet there, bud. Are you locked in?”
I swallowed. She was talking about the game and I was hard. It was like De Niro’s character from that one movie was chastising me. “You’re hard. She’s talking about the game and you’re hard.” I couldn’t help it; her scent was filling the room. The scent alone had a stranglehold on me. Thank god she – Joker, the movie was Joker, that was it. Thank god she saw the back of my head as I gamed and not vice versa, or I don’t think I’d be able to stop staring at her. “Uh, yeah. I’m almost level sixty.”
I looked back to see her peering from behind her laptop screen. “Nice,” she replied triumphantly. “I’m not even level fifty yet. Fishing is so boring, if you ask me.”
“I like it. It’s calming,” I told her, then turned around. She was watching my character fishing. It was weird – she got to see my screen all the time from her usual spot on the bed, but I never got to see her screen. Without any warning, I got up and walked to see her screen. Kelsea raised her eyebrows in response and didn’t say anything, even as I saw exactly what I expected to.
I laughed and folded my arms. “Combat. Quel surpris.”
“Quelle surprise,” Kelsea corrected me with a smile on her face. “Someone’s got to be the breadwinner here!”
“Hey, I’ll have you know those salmon sell for like four hundred GP each!” I argued, pointing at my idle screen while my character fished away.
“Yeah, but that’s, like, domestic shit. I’m coming home from war and you’re waiting for me with your apron already on,” Kelsea laughed.
“Woah,” I laughed back, surprised. “Um, so that can be your imagination, but I’m not wearing a-”
“Your character is, you clown, you absolute buffoon,” Keslea laughed, also gesturing to my character. I completely forgot I visited the Cook’s Guild recently – I was still wearing my chef’s hat and apron.
“Oh,” I admitted. “Well, okay, you got me.”
“But hey, may as well wear one now! Y’know, match your character,” Kelsea extended the joke.
“Or I could just take it off my character?” I rebutted.
“Yeah, but that’s less fun, Austin,” Kelsea replied, looking at me with a faux pout.
“Oh wow, well when you put it like that, I’m sold,” I laughed. “But I don’t think we have one in the house, so-”
“So to Amazon we go!” Kelsea joked.
“Hey, let’s do it, full send,” I replied, now into this. “Let’s look up how much an apron costs.” Kelsea hesitated. “A cheap one. We wouldn’t have to actually buy it, it’s just for the… y’know.”
“Uh, yeah! Let’s pull it up on your computer though. That way both of us can see the screens,” Kelsea added, in this… new tone of voice.
My eyes narrowed. “Nah, I’m here now, may as well be yours,” I replied, looking from her face to the screen. “You already have Firefox running, so let’s just-”
“Nah, I’d prefer yours,” Kelsea replied firmly.
“But literally why?” I asked inquisitively.
Kelsea gave a frustrated laugh. “Is it honesty time already?”
I furrowed my brow and said nothing, looking at Kelsea with no doubt a look of pure confusion.
Kelsea sighed and gestured towards her minimized Firefox icon. “Because I’m not actually sure that isn’t just porn. There, happy?”
My jaw fell as I looked at Kelsea. Holy shit. “Woah, really?” I asked, shocked.
Kelsea continued her frustrated chuckle and held out both hands. “Voila, the prestige, she wasn’t lying and she looks at porn,” she joked.
“But that’s not – wh- wait, didn’t you say you always look on your phone? Why-” I covered my mouth with my hand as Kelsea just turned pinker, even with her ever-present smile on her face. “Were you just… looking up porn on my bed while we were playi-“
“Oh my God, no!” Kelsea nearly yelped between chuckles. “No no, nothing that weirdo-level, but uh, it’s still not great…” She hummed to herself for a bit. “No judging?”
I shook my head. “And it stays between us.”
“I, uh, got, umm… bored in class,” Keslea admitted, turning pinker.
I sat down on the bed next to her legs, my jaw only closer to the floor. “No shit? I managed after a bit.
She adjusted her ponytail, fumbling with a knot in her hair. “Yeah, I sit at the back and I was all like… why not?”
“Does the school wi-fi even allow-?”
“Well Austin, that’s where this week’s sponsor comes in, NordVPN!” Keslea replied, putting on a voice. I joined her in laughing.
Still, boy did this revelation answer my prayers. I now had a pretty solid reason to go off-topic. “That’s so crazy… wait, so, is it more DILF stuff?” I asked, got up again, and looked around at her screen, as if this time I’d see it somehow.
And that’s when it happened.
I knew when she asked her next question things were about to change forever.
I could just feel it.
And I bet she could feel it too.
“I honestly forget what it is. Wanna find out?”
There was a pause in the air. Even still this time it felt… weirdly comfortable. I turned to her and mustered my best confident smile. “Are you trying to play it cool?”
Kelsea smiled. “Oh come on, Austin. As if you wanna say anything other than ‘yes’ right now.” She shifted over on the bed – even with my small twin-sizer, there was just enough room for the both of us and the implication was obvious. I shifted and sat down next to her – we were sitting next to each other. Her leg was right up next to mine, as was her shoulder. I was touching her. I could smell her, and I could feel the heat coming off her body. My eyes knew they couldn’t look at her when she was this close, but that was perfectly fine, given they were glued to the screen, waiting to see both if she was actually willing to go through with this and the type of stuff she looked up.
Kelsea just looked at the screen for a bit. “I can’t believe I’m going to actually do this,” she admitted to herself, trying to force a chuckle in at the end.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I immediately replied. “If you wanna stop, we can…” I figured she would cut me off, but she didn’t, so I just trailed off.
She was smiling next to me, and shifted a little. Our shoulders and hips rubbed against each other in such an innocent way. “That’s really… that’s actually really sweet,” she replied. “Nah, I’m good to go. Just, uh, getting ready.”
“Rip the band-aid off,” I suggested, ignoring that I was already getting hard. Her laptop was obscuring her view, so it’s not like she would have noticed. “Three, two…”
“One, aaaand bazinga,” Kelsea said with resignation, clicking on her Firefox window.
Yup, it was porn. It was absolutely porn. It was some kind of online gallery of context shots from a photoshoot – as if the website was telling you, “Look, here’s several pictures of a story. You can figure out how it went.”
And boy, could I. Kelsea was clearly over her passing interest in DILFs – the shoot featured a taller woman and a shorter man, and the woman was clearly in control. The woman was standing, wearing only a bra that still let her nipples show, holding some kind of baton. The man was completely naked, sitting on a chair, then tied to a chair, and then…
“Woah,” I breathed.
“Boy oh boy,” Kelsea murmured to herself.
“I can see DILFs are so last week, huh?” I asked.
Kelsea cackled. “Hoo man, I forgot this is the last one I looked up,” she admitted, and I swear I could feel her giving off more heat with how pink she was turning.
The woman was sitting on and riding the guy. She looked older than him. He looked nothing like me, but still… and let alone what the porn was, Kelsea and me were sitting on my bed, looking at this gallery of a woman riding a younger guy! I couldn’t help it; my breath became staggered.
“There, see? It’s hot, don’t blame me,” Kelsea joked, a little bit more breathless this time.
It was new – definitely not the type of porn I was used to looking up – and I wasn’t even sure if I would have found it hot on its own, but with Kelsea beside me? Yeah, I was sporting a fucking rager. “Yeah, look at how she’s busting out of that bra,” I commented, almost nervously. My throat felt dry.
“Yeah, and the way she’s sitting directly on him in this one. Like, that’s gotta feel so fuckin’ good… Plus, guy’s winning too. Not only is she fucking him, but her tits are in his face, so…”
“Fuck, yeah…” I murmured. “I can’t believe you have the balls to look at this shit in class, Kelsea.”
Kelsea laughed. “A girl’s got needs, and advanced chem was not satisfying ‘em,” she simply replied.
“How is this satisfying them though?” I asked with my own laugh. “Like, if I see porn and I can’t, y’know, do something about it, it only makes me need to release my pent-up tension more, you know?”
“Oh same. Big same, my guy, but: that just makes it more fun,” Kelsea told me with a confident smirk.
“Soooo as soon as you’re home you’re getting right to work?” I joked, looking over at her.
“As soon as I get a moment alone, all bets are off,” she confirmed.
“Ha, called it,” I replied smugly.
“Oh, whatever,” she shot back. “Pot meet kettle. At least I volunteered to show you what I like, instead of accidentally showing it off, twice,” she added, teasing me.
“Then I guess you’ll need to show me what porn you’re looking at next time too, then we’ll truly be even,” I joked back.
“Austin!” she giggled in shock, pushing me off the bed. I complied, but laughed as I did. She closed the tab and brought Runescape back up. Even so, she tilted her head and smirked at me. “Only if I’m already looking at porn that day. Deal?”
Damn. “Fuck yes,” I agreed. She didn’t need to tell me that the moment was over – I walked back to my desk and started to log back in. I didn’t say anything for a bit, but Kelsea broke the ice.
“That was fun.”
I turned back to her. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she admitted. “Thanks for, um, not judging.”
“Not judging? It was… hot!” It was strange saying the word out loud, and trying to say it so nonchalantly.
She smiled confidently. “So, wanna try out the Wilderness?”
***
Between hanging out with Jess and hanging out with me, Kelsea was becoming a regular fixture at our place. When I saw her at dinner the next night, I was hardly even surprised. And clearly, Kelsea was adjusting to our arrangement a little smoother than I was, because when she saw me, she simply waved and gave a friendly, “hey!” before turning back to Jess and continuing their conversation. I tried to say “hey” and “hello” at the same time and “hrgh” was all that came out. It was good enough for Kelsea though, who went back to whispering with Jess.
“Wasn’t Will supposed to come tonight?” I asked mom casually as I reached for the meatloaf.
“That was my understanding,” mom huffed. “Will’s great but sometimes he’ll just fall off the face of the Earth. I tried texting, calling…”
Not to crush mom’s dreams or anything, but Will was not great. There was being nice and then there was being fictitious. His last performance here didn’t exactly earn him any new fans, and that was with a fuller house than usual.
Jess, as always, was a bit less subtle than me, but… not wrong. “That’s disrespectful, mom,” she told her bluntly. “And I know it’s not my business, but I really think you could do better-”
“Jess,” mom warned her.
Kelsea just moved her mouth to the side, eyes straight down at the plate. I looked from her to mom. Mom met my eyes, expecting me to disagree with Jess, but… I just shrugged, and kept eating. Mom just sighed. “New topic?”
“New topic,” Jess agreed, her eyes moving back and forth at the table to find anything to say. Eventually, she looked at me. “Uh, Austin has a new hobby.”
“Oh yeah? What is it?” mom asked, doing her usual ‘polite interest’ thing.
“Oh, um, just messing around with Blender,” I told her quietly.
“Y- what?” mom asking, putting down her spoon. “My blender, that I keep on the top shelf? The one you didn’t ask to borrow?”
The sudden need to defend myself should have come, but it… didn’t. Instead, I actually smiled. “Mom, the program is called ‘Blender,’” I clarified. It was so out of character, both mom and Jess paused, though Kelsea echoed my grin, clearly pleased to see me reacting this way. “It’s used for 3D modeling and stuff.”
“Oh,” mom replied, the wind fully taken out of her sails. “Well, that’s nice then.”
“He’s made a few things already, and they’re pretty cool,” Jess continued casually. It’s not like she was glazing me – I’m pretty sure she really only wanted to stick to a new topic – but any W I could take from Jess of all people, I’d take in a heartbeat.
Even still, I couldn’t help deprecating myself. “Yeah, but they don’t look, like, good yet. They look like something out of those old Veggie Tales DVDs you showed us.”
Kelsea laughed. “Veggie Tales,” she repeated with ironic reverence.
“You can go ahead and laugh,” mom told her humorously. “When I was young the church used to show us Veggie Tales all the time. It used to be a way to bring us together.” She paused and ate a spoonful of mashed potatoes. “Speaking of bringing people together, Kelsea, it feels like we’re seeing you more and more around here.”
Kelsea nearly froze where she was, and looked at mom. “Oh, is it… am I-”
“No no, not a bad thing,” mom clarified. “I’m just saying, as in… Is everything okay at home?”
It was kind of a silly question. If there was a more wholesome family than the Fabers, we never met them. The family did nearly everything together, often leaving several times a year to go on family vacations and outings and things. Kelsea had two younger sisters and a younger brother, and one of the sisters was in my year, so even aside from Kelsea, I already knew the Fabers were what people pictured when they thought of the quintessential Happy American Family. Heck, Kelsea was one of only two people in the family that had brown eyes, along with her father – the rest had the stereotypical All-American Blonde Hair and Blue Eyes. Imagine picturing the type of sickeningly-sweet family that would go to, like, the fucking grocery store together and laugh at their in-jokes together and smile and hug and shit, and that was the Fabers.
Yeah, I’d try to get away from them every moment I could too, if I were her.
“Oh my God, ha – everything’s fine,” Kelsea scoff-laughed. “I just like doing my own thing. Plus, Jess is my best friend, and I just prefer hanging out with friends than my family sometimes. Family can sometimes get a bit… too much, you know?”
Jess and I looked at each other and… smiled. “Yeah,” Jess admitted.
“Yup, I can agree with that one,” I added just as smugly.
“Hey now!” mom chided us, not in on the bit, as always.
“And you both are really cool people and I like being friends with both of you,” Kelsea added, though I wasn’t sure who exactly the emphasis on ‘both’ was meant towards. For Jess’ and my part, we both looked squarely at each other again.
***
Scape tn?
It wasn’t as nervewracking asking over Discord, but the wait was. Five minutes after I sent the message, my hand was drumming on my desk. Ten minutes later, I considered maybe deleting the message. Thirty minutes later, I just started messing around in Blender just to take my mind off of it.
I was so in the zone that I didn’t look at my phone for the next hour or two. When I heard Jess knock on my door, my eyes didn’t even leave the screen. “What is it?”
“Kelsea’s here,” Jess’ muffled voice informed me.
My gaze whipped towards the door, then back at my screen. The Discord icon was lit up on my task bar, and when I opened it, I saw her reply. Replies.
sure! Gimme a bit to dry off, I just showered
sorry for the delay, omw
2 minutes out cap’n
I smiled at the messages. I got up and opened my door to see Jess, who clearly had ‘I’m not thrilled with this but whatever, I guess I’ll share my toys if mom said I have to’ written all over her face. I turned my head towards the living room and sure enough, Kelsea was sitting down. “Hey!”
“Ahoy there, matey,” I replied.
She saluted me. “Ready to set sail?” she asked, getting up and starting to put some book away in her bag. She paused and dangled it, looking back at Jess. “I can give this back to you… Friday?”
“Monday’s fine, it’s all good,” Jess replied casually and walked off towards her room. On some level, I kind of knew how she felt. Ever since Kelsea and I started hanging out, I began to feel antsy and… lowkey annoyed whenever Jess and Kelsea were both just in Jess’ room. and heck, Jess was her best friend for nearly five years now, so hey, maybe she was being nice.
“She’s trying to be nice, you know,” Kelsea told me from behind. “This is new for her, and she isn’t used to having me around the house and having to… well, it’s weird to say, but having to share me.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, walking into my room. “I was actually just thinking the same thing.”
“Oh, okay. Good,” Kelsea replied, slightly triumphantly. “I mean this in the kindest possible way, but I’m used to you two not really seeing eye to eye, you know?”
“Yeah, she can sometimes be… I mean, I won’t say much, but she can sometimes be a pain,” I agreed.
Kelsea’s signature smirk adorned her face. She wanted to say something. All I could do was sigh. “What?” I asked expectantly.
“You can sometimes be unfair to her too, my dude,” she replied in a gentle, kind voice. A voice that told me she wasn’t talking down to me, but still found this important to say. “And sometimes it do be like that. I’m not always great to my family, but I can’t just pretend my best friend is this evil witch and you’re an innocent little guy.”
“Yeah well, we both know…” I trailed off, then eyed the open door. I closed it. “We both know I’m not exactly an innocent little guy.”
“Wow, turn on the censors. Thank goodness you closed the door before saying that. My poor virgin ears,” Kelsea joked.
“As if any part of you is a virgin,” I joked, then realized how that sounded. My face fell as Kelsea’s smile turned shocked.
“Damn, Austin! Where the hell did that come from?” she asked, genuinely taken aback. Uh oh – the smile said a lot, and right now it was screaming, ‘I’m only smiling to make the situation less tense, and I think I’m offended.’
My voice caught in my throat. “I didn’t mean-” I started, accidentally showing off the biggest voice crack known to man. Nice. Great chaser to the Shot From Hell. “Just – like – you’re, you know, really bold, so I mean like… you’re experienced! In a good way! I- I don’t even judge like that! Like, I wouldn’t care if you- if half the school- I mean…” The words stopped coming, and I hung my head in shame.
Kelsea laughed, but she laughed cautiously. “Austin my guy, first of all, you gotta work on thinking before you say shit, alright? That was, uh-”
“Yeah, I feel bad,” I admitted. “That was uncool.”
She stopped and let me say that, then nodded slowly. “A bit,” she admitted. “Second of all, for the record, actually all of me is a virgin.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised. “How?”
Kelsea’s playfully disapproving look didn’t end. “Well, let’s see,” she began. “By not rushing into things, by having never gone on a second date, by not having sex if you’re a real nerd, and by being generally unattractive if you wanna be roundabout.”
“What are you talking about, ‘generally unattractive’? You’re literally the hottest girl in-”
The silence. Oh my God, I hated the silence. As soon as I stopped talking, Kelsea just looked at me, taking in what I said, what I didn’t say, and what I was clearly about to say.
Weirdly, this was the thing that made Kelsea’s smile wane completely. “The hottest girl in what, this room right now?” she joked regardless, despite the smile being gone.
I opened my mouth. Nothing but embarrassing noises came out.
“School, right? That was gonna be the last word? ‘School’?” Kelsea asked, her tone getting gentler.
What the fuck else could I do? I just nodded.
“Austin…” Kelsea began slowly. “Do you…”
Fuck.
Fuck, I couldn’t lie.
This was it. The Question. She was going to answer it, I was damned if I said yes or no, and she knew it. Oh my God, I was ready to fucking die here and now. Honestly, if Kelsea had any respect for me, she would just not ask the question at all.
“…Do you… want to start playing Runescape?” she asked, her smile returning. “Even just looking at your face is making me feel bad for you, my guy. We’ve gone on a roller coaster here.”
I took a deep breath in. “Yeah, that would be nice,” I replied, and Kelsea gave me a nod of understanding and began to pull her laptop out of her bag.
I sat down at my computer, but immediately turned my chair around. I couldn’t resist following up. “Has anything… changed between us?”
“Nah,” Kelsea replied immediately and casually. It was both reassuring and heartbreaking.
Still, I needed to press on. I was deepthroating my foot as it was. “We’re doing Karamja today, right?”
“That’s why I called you cap’n, Cap’n,” Kelsea diligently replied. We didn’t say anything more and I turned back to my computer, ready to log on. Was it better or worse that Kelsea still wanted to hang out with me and play Runescape after I both totally insulted her then gave away my crush? I had no fucking clue. But what I did know was that me saying, ‘y’know, I don’t feel like playing with you today after all’ would have been the perfect way to conclude the Hat Trick of Cringe, so… press on.
And so, we pressed on, and eventually, Kelsea started yapping about why she thought the fishing skill sucked. And she was Kelsea, so our yapping continued for the next hour or two, which I figured needed to purely be about the game.
Of course, Kelsea had other plans. She and I got to talking with this stranger in-game – we even made it a little game of our own, pretending we weren’t in the same room together and pretending our characters just met. The stranger got to talking back to us and she was actually kind of cool, although Kelsea wasn’t crazy about the name.
“Cutie Pie1214,” she laughed. “You just know it’s a dude behind the screen. No self-respecting girl names her character that.”
“I have a funny feeling Cutie Pies 1 through 1213 have at least a fifty-fifty gender ratio,” I joked in reply, then added, “Plus, most people just pick girl characters because of Recruitment Drive.” I viewed my private messages. “Plus plus, I think she just added both of us.”
Kelsea checked her screen. “Wow, the favoritism,” she mused. “Nope, dude. Just you.”
“What?”
“You’re in. You don’t even need to buy a runescape GF; one just fell into your lap,” she laughed.
“Holy-”
“Even though it seems you prefer blondes,” she added deviously.
I whipped my head back to look at Kelsea in time to see her start cackling. “Ooh, if I could take a picture of your face right now,” she laughed, then looked at me when I didn’t reply. “What? I can’t joke about it?”
“Is it… Are you… offended?” I asked gingerly.
“You kidding, dude? It’s flattering. It’s neat. I, um, never really expected to be that kinda girl, to anyone. Like, you were going to say ‘school,’ right?”
My tongue felt very uncomfortable in my mouth. I blushed and looked down.
“Hey. I was honest about watching porn in class, dude. Don’t act like you’re the only one here that has to wade through the cringe,” Kelsea pointed out, fully seriously.
I sighed. She had a point. “Okay, yeah, I was gonna say school,” I conceded.
“Damn. Score,” she muttered. “Crush, or…?”
I moved my tongue between my teeth and bit hard. Inhaling sharply, I nodded.
“Woah. Insane,” she murmured. “Okay wait, was it because I’m cool with talking to you about sex and stuff?”
“What, are we playing twenty questions now?” I asked, swiveling my chair towards her.
“Are you refusing to answer?” she brattily retorted.
I gave her a playfully annoyed smile. She smiled back. I loved how often she smiled. She really was such a free spirit that loved life. And she was clever and quick-witted and-
“Taking that as a yes,” Kelsea said with a shrug.
“No,” I immediately countered. “Okay? No. Longer.”
“Longer?” she asked gently. I didn’t reply. Her eyes flickered back to her computer and she stifled a giggle. “Hey Austin,” she practically sang.
“This is going to be trouble, isn’t it?” I rhetorically asked.
She ignored me. “So, I was saving this for later, but given what happened today I don’t think I’ll find any smooth segue to this whatsoever, so… I maybe kinda sorta was watching something right before my shower, and I seem to recall we made a deal last week. If you’re honest with me, and fully honest with me, we can go straight to watching it.” She finished, then noted my silence. “If you want.”
“Actually?” I asked breathlessly.
She shrugged. “A deal’s a deal, bud. What do you say?”
“Is this what today has become? Are you bribing me with porn?” I asked incredulously.
“Hard to resist, ain’t it?” she asked jokingly. “I get to ask anything I want, and you have to answer honestly. As long as you do, I won’t judge or leave or anything, and at the end… we relax and watch one of the finest videos the Internet has to offer. Deal?”
I stared at her for a bit. She was literally inviting me to tell her everything, and she hadn’t walked away or shown any signs she was disgusted or secretly recording this or whatever. Hell, the one time I did cross a line, she was pretty open with me. I was.. comfortable around her. “Yeah, okay,” I quietly began.
“Nice,” she said with a toothy grin. “How long, my guy?”
I rolled my eyes, my tongue nestled firmly in my cheek. I looked away from her, towards the wall, as I answered. “I dunno exactly how long, but I know I was denying it to myself until, like… May.”
“So like, a few days ago?”
“Nope. Last year,” I admitted.
Kelsea’s jaw lowered. “A whole year?” she asked in surprise.
I felt adrenaline surge through me. “Look, if we’re doing this, can you just tell me right here and now if you feel the same way, or…?”
“Oh, right. Yeah, I guess that would be the protocol, huh?” Kelsea admitted. “Um, so, uh, this is… I’m blindsided here. I was fully expecting not to date before the end of high school, and… I’m not too spontaneous, Austin.”
“I would actually prefer a straight yes-or-no here,” I told her seriously.
It was clear this was new ground to her. “Yeah, of course,” she admitted sheepishly. “I mean, this is complex, but if those are my two options… yeah, I respect you too much to lie. Yeah, it’s a no.”
“Cool.” I nodded slowly.
“That’s not to say you’re not a cool guy, and I hope I’ve shown you that I still want to hang out and stuff,” she quickly added.
“Oh my God, Kelsea, I think I’ve given you a million reasons to walk out of here,” I told her. “Of course I know that. You’re all good. Plus, like, sure it hurts, but…” I shrugged. “What the fuck can I do about it? Change you?”
“You’d be about sixteen years too late for that anyway,” Kelsea replied in a serious voice, nodding.
“Wha-?”
“Changing, like, a bab- never mind,” she told me, waving the thought away with her hand. “That’s what we like to call ‘deadpan humor,’ liberal.”
“It’s what I’d like to call cringe,” I retorted.
“And you’d know all about cringe from what happened here today,” she fired back, smiling again.
“And here you are, offering to watch porn-”
“Ssh!!” Kelsea urged, giving me a cringing yet supportive smile.
“Right,” I admitted, lowering my voice. “And here you are, offering to watch porn with a cringe-”
“I got it, thanks,” she laughed. “Speaking of…” She shimmied over to the side of the bed facing the wall, and patted the other side.
“No more questions?” I asked, almost surprised.
“There may be some later,” she replied mischievously. “But in the meantime, I’m happy to provide my end of the deal while we’re here.”
That was good enough for me. I got up and sat down beside her, feeling slightly nervous again. “So, do you not remember again?”
“Nah, this one I remember,” she admitted, and pulled it up. This one was a video, and even before playing it, my eyebrows shot up. The title said very little and yet said it all: HE’S BEGGING FOR IT.
Damn, she was decidedly over DILFs. This one in particular was definitely leaning into femdom territory, with some kind of hot busty blonde taking control and riding a meeker-looking guy. The guy was moaning and whimpering, and the blonde woman was going back and forth between laughing at him and lightly slapping him to get him to shut up or something.
“Holy shit…” I breathed.
“Yup,” Kelsea replied, her voice a little caught in her throat too. “So, first of all, the choice of the girl’s hair color was not intentional,” she added as a joke. “I’m not, like conceited or anything, I swear.”
I was too transfixed on what was on the screen to laugh. Femdom wasn’t even normally my thing, but not even because I was repelled or grossed out; I just didn’t naturally search for it. Trouble was, Kelsea was just that hot to me – anything she did, was, or watched, I became more intrigued by it. And now, I’d just seen clear evidence she was into… this. And now, I was hard as steel watching it.
“So,” I admitted after a bit. “You like when the girl’s in charge, huh?”
She turned to me and blushed a little, biting her lip nervously. “A bit,” she admitted. “I dunno, there’s something so interesting about it, you know? Guys are always rushing into things and taking charge just because. No offense. It’s nice to kinda flip the script on it. Plus…” We both looked back at the screen together, just in time to see a close-up shot of her slipping the guy’s dick inside herself and slowly sinking down, moaning authoritatively, beginning to ride him cowgirl style. “It’s hot,” Kelsea finished quietly.
We watched in silence for the next minute or so, even as we could tell both of our breaths were beginning to quicken. Eventually, Kelsea made some kind of noise in her throat, and coughed suddenly to catch it. “What about you, do you like it?” she asked.
“I do,” I admitted, both to her and myself. “Like, I wouldn’t search it out myself, but… I’m kinda into it.”
“Yeah?” Kelsea asked in slight surprise, with a smile on her face. “Well, look at you go, bud! Trying new things.” She rubbed my shoulder as some kind of show of joking support.
Trouble was, I wasn’t expecting to feel any kind of touch right then and there. When her hand made contact with my shoulder, my throat made the only kind of sound it could have made in that moment. Sadly, I didn’t even have the good grace to cough and cover it up. I just made what sounded clearly like a moan, and immediately blushed and looked down after.
Kelsea, for her part, laughed. “Wow, my dude,” she told me. “I’ve heard of sensitive ears and feet, but I didn’t know you had them sexual shoulders. Guess I should have asked first, huh?”
I looked at her – she showed zero judgment or shame. Her words told me she was happy to keep joking at my expense, but her face… it kept telling me, ‘hey, I’m joking with you, not at you.’ Something in me was screaming, ‘keep the joke going.’
“And that’s just the shoulders. You should see what happens with the rest of me!” I joked meekly, looking at the screen and blushing. It sounded less stupid in my head.
“Haha, yeah? What happens when I press on your stomach, do you cum?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she sharply inhaled. “Um, okay actually, that might have been – was that weird?”
I was blinking slowly. Holy fucking shit. Sure, it was in her own joking way, but I could not fucking believe what my crush was joking with me about. “Uh, if that’s your goal, I think you might need a map if you try going for the stomach first.”
Kelsea laughed. “You know what? That was a good one,” she admitted, and we watched the woman authoritatively bouncing on the held-down boy, crazy style. “Let me tell ya though, that would be really nice right now. Like, if all I needed was to push on my stomach and I was good to go…”
Maybe in a bit I wouldn’t need to. Her chest was rising and falling with her breath. Sure she may have been joking, but we knew what we were actually talking about…
…I had a thought. An idea. A what-if.
“Yeah, no kidding. I dunno how much longer I can watch this video before I need to go to the bathroom or something,” I told her seriously.
“Damn, keep it in your pants, bud,” she joked, but I didn’t reply. Strategically. She paused for a few seconds before adding, “But… same though.”
“First one to the bathroom gets to claim it?”
“No fair, I have the laptop on-” She stopped herself and grinned deviously. “Actually, you know what, yeah, go nuts. I’ll just be in this room, with the laptop. What’ll you need, like, five minutes? I’ll time myself.”
“I bet I could do it in three,” I joked back.
“I don’t wanna give myself rug burn down there, dude.”
My heart started beating faster. “Are you actually suggesting we-”
“Naaaah,” Kelsea chuckled. “Like, this is really fun, but believe it or not, I’m not just gonna lose control and rip my pants off here and now. I don’t wanna traumatize ya.”
“Yeah, because when girls threaten to rip their pants off in front of dudes crushing on them, they see it as traumatizing.”
“Good point,” Kelsea conceded. “In that case, I can’t give you the satisfaction, can I?”
“Are you asking me? Because if I get a vote-”
Kelsea hit me with one of my pillows, laughing. “Maybe you need to go to the bathroom and splash some cold water on your face, you horndog,” she chuckled. On the screen, the video ended. “Welp, tada! I fulfilled my end of the deal.”
“Mm,” I acknowledged, leaning back on the bed. “Do you have any more questions for me?”
“Uh, is it weird watching this stuff with me if I’m not, like, crushing on you back? I don’t want this to be weird or anything.”
“Nope,” I lied. I didn’t lie often, and virtually never lied in my own house, but it felt like being around Kelsea was new territory. I then truthfully added, “I never expected you to want to do aaaany of this with me. I didn’t even expect you to want to hang out with me, so this whole thing is just, like… aaaaa.”
“Is that a good ‘aaaaa’ or a bad ‘aaaaa’?”
“I dun-”
“Pleasure ‘aaaaa’ or pain ‘aaaaaa’?”
I gave her a sarcastic smile that then turned sheepish. “Well, for starters I’m worried about standing up and, uh, something looking obvious, if I’m being honest, so-”
“Yeahhhh, I can’t say I’m upset I have a vagina right now,” Kelsea admitted. “They’re stealthier. I’ll just, um – I’ll have to change when I get home.”
“Like a baby, or-?” I joked.
She hit me with the pillow again. “Not when we’re talking about sex, you cringelord!” Kelsea shouted, laughing. She cleared her throat and added, “But tell ya what – I’m just gonna look over here at the wall so you can get back to your desk.” She moved her head in a comically over-exaggerated motion towards the wall, which effectively swung her golden ponytail in my face.
“Fwah!” I replied on instinct, with all of her hairs tickling my face. I took it as extra incentive to get up, feeling like I was going to sneeze.
“Oh whoops, sorry,” Kelsea replied, turning back to look at me as I got up. “I keep forgetting this baby is a weapon when I want it to be.” Because of the coincidence, she saw me just as I got up off the bed and turned to her. Her eyes were locked on mine, and then, for a second – they flickered south.
She saw it. I knew it when her eyes flew back to mine. She saw it. There was no way she didn’t.
“Y’know, I, uh,” she said immediately, clearly determining her reason for speaking as she went, “I hit people with the ponytail more often than I expect. I just look around and, like a maceball on a chain, whack, it just hits people.”
“Morning star,” I told her, walking back to my desk. She could only see my back now, and with my gaze out of hers, I looked down to my crotch. It was… extremely noticeable how hard I was. “It’s called a morning star.”
“Is that right? Neat. You learn something new every day,” she commented lightly, before logging back in.
***
hey bud. do me a huge favor and let me know after you read this:
we’ve got to lay low for a while. turns out your sister heard me going all “not when we’re talking about sex” (#whoops) so you and me are going to need to talk about other stuff whenever we’re hanging out for the next lil bit. I pretended like you asked me about the whole ‘saw you jacking off’ thing and thats why I said it. I think she dropped it. 100% a me thing, don’t blame yourself because I know you will, lol. we’re as good as ever 🙂 and I have fun with it too. but yeah. ok now message me “hey :)” so i know you read this pls so I can delete this message, lmao
I had to admit, I was actually kind of annoyed at Kelsea for this one, because as soon as I saw the message, one thing became clear to me that apparently Kelsea didn’t think of at all. One thing that was going to become annoyingly apparent the very next time I went to dinner. And sure enough, when I sat down at the table, I was met with Jess’ furious, disapproving gaze.
Just when we were kind of getting along too. I did my best to give her a weirded out look and left it at that. If she wanted to open her mouth and complain, she could have fun as far as I was concerned.
I wasn’t counting on her being as bold as she was.
“I was thinking that maybe you should take a break from hanging out with Kelsea for the next few weeks,” she cold-opened out of nowhere.
Mom, myself, and Will all hesitated. “Um, why?” I asked.
“I think the things you talk about with her are kind of weird, and I would like that to stop,” she simply replied, folding her arms and leaning back.
Mom was never one not to take the bait. “Wait, what kinds of things?” she asked Jess.
“Um, things that I talk about with my friends are private between us,” I cut in forcefully. “Did Kelsea tell you she was uncomfortable or something?”
I asked to force Jess to say no, but unfortunately, someone else got the wrong idea from my question. “Oh yeah, I’m with you there,” Will chipped in. “Whenever a female tells me to cancel one of my friends just because he ‘made her uncomfortable,’ I’m always thinking, well, did he actually do something bad or did he just-”
“Woooow,” Jess replied simply, shaking her head at… both of us, before looking squarely at me. “So now you’re saying my best friend is a liar.”
“Wh- no!” I protested. “I was literally asking, Will was-”
“No man, I’m on your side,” Will insisted.
“What did Austin say to Kelsea?” mom inquired.
I looked with urgency at Jess. No. Absolutely not.
Jess stared back at me for a bit. She let a thick pause hang in the air for a few seconds. Her eyes narrowed. “A few weeks ago, me and Kelsea caught Austin doing something he shouldn’t do in the living room,” she finally said.
“I mean are you… fucking… kidding me,” I practically seethed in disbelief, my hands balling into fists on the table.
“Like what?” mom asked with urgency. Will was just looking back into the living room, as if the answer still lied there, like if I was building a nuclear weapon in there or something.
Jess was still staring at me, clearly gauging whether to just sell me up the river like this. “He was… masturbating in the living room. Me and Kelsea caught him.”
My breath coursed through my lungs. My head became heavy, my consciousness feeling like it was fading back and forth into my body. I practically felt time slow down as something raged inside me. Something snapped. Jess had never made an escalation like this, and she never betrayed me this hard before. Well, not today, Jess. Not fucking today.
“You are literally lying. That never happened. What the fuck.”
I said it perfectly. It was the perfect tone, the perfect cadence, the perfect fucking delivery. I may have been a lot of things in our household, but there was one thing that was always established: I never lied to my mother, and Jess sometimes did. And something inside me told me Jess knew that too, because her jaw actually went slack when the words left my lips.
Mom slowly turned to Jess. “Jess…” she warned her in a quietly ominous voice. “Lying about that is too far.”
“Wait, no, no!! I am not lying, mom, I promise, I swear on my life-”
“Austin doesn’t lie,” Will felt the need to point out.
“Shut up, Will! You are not a fucking part of this!” Jess bellowed. “Let me get Kelsea on the phone right now, and I will prove it!!”
I froze. Luckily, no one noticed. “Jess, that’s not necessary,” mom replied as my blood began to cool to dangerous levels.
“No, this is important, because I can prove it right now, and if I don’t, you’re just going to believe-” She stopped speaking in frustration as she looked up Kelsea’s number and called. She hit ‘speakerphone’ and held the phone above the table in determination as it rang.
And rang.
And rang.
“You have reached the voice mailbox of-” “Keeeeelsea Faber!” “Please leave a message after the-”
Jess hit the ‘hang up’ button and grunted in rage. “I’m not hungry, I’m going to bed,” she seethed, stomping away from the table. Mom, Will and I just looked at each other as she slammed the door to her room.
None of us said anything for a while, and didn’t even dare to pick up our utensils and eat again. No one wanted to be the first.
“She’s at that age,” Will eventually murmured, his reason why obvious as he picked up his fork.
“I can’t believe it,” mom added, shaking her head at fate, then turning to me. “I knew you were telling the truth – I mean, you always do, but just by the way you sat there and waited for Jess to call Kelsea. I just can not believe your sister would stoop so low!”
I paused. There was no way I could possibly have communicated this, but I absolutely hated the corner I painted Jess into. “I think she’s just mad I’m hanging out with her best friend more,” I suggested.
“Sure, but to pretend she and Kelsea caught you? And using an example so disgusting and- and weird, I just…” She gestured to nothing with her hand. “I just can’t. I can not with her. We will certainly be having a talk tomorrow, that’s for sure.”
I cleared my throat. “Honestly mom, maybe go easy on her. I think she feels weird about it too. I mean… I bet this is the kind of thing anyone will just deny until the end of time and insist they were telling the truth the whole time. Once it’s out, it’s hard to admit you were lying about something that serious, right?” God, I sucked more than I thought. I began to eat, and eat quickly.
Mom, to my inner disgust, nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I see what you mean,” she murmured. “Well, she can insist that all she wants, but especially since we’ll have someone refuting it directly, it’s not exactly going to do us any good, is it?”
“No kidding,” I practically mooed with my mouth full of food. I took a long drink from my water cup and set it down. “Sorry, this whole thing has made me… I’m gonna go lie down.”
“Uhh, yeah. Yeah, of course,” mom awkwardly replied. “I’ll clean up.”
“Thanks,” I replied, quickly getting out of my chair and powerwalking to my room. I shut the door very quietly and opened my laptop. Jess was definitely actively trying to get a hold of Kelsea. I had no idea what the protocol was on securing a lie, but…
I stared at my DMs with Kelsea. My simple “hey :)” laid there greeting me – ironically, unanswered by Kelsea. Welp, if ever there was a time to double-text someone, it was now.
Ya so your plan backfired. Big time. Jess is now angry at me. She thinks Im being a creep. She tried banning me from hanging out with you in front of mom, AND she actually said OUT LOUD at the dinner table you 2 caught me jacking it. I was screwed. I said she was lying. Now Jess wants you to tell my mom you caught me. But sure Im just as bad as Jess. Im not sorry you have to deal with this, because its your fault tbh
Sent. The last few sentences felt strong, but I didn’t want to give myself enough time to think about it. I shut the laptop and whirled around in my chair, leaning back and sighing. Was this my fault? Jess’s? Kelsea’s?! We all played a role in this, but how did things go so haywire so quickly? I raked my fingers over my face and heard a knock at my bedroom door – definitely Jess’s style of knocking. I didn’t ask for any of this, I wasn’t involved in literally any of this. Kelsea chose to talk to me about this stuff. Kelsea shouted that we were talking about sex. Jess chose to get weird about it and blab to mom. None of this was fair, and I had a funny feeling that when I opened my door, that fact wasn’t going to matter in the slightest when I faced Jess’s wrath.
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