First and foremost, I’m sorry about this being the only blog post for two weeks. I was going to justify it as a late post on early Monday, but then a work obligation appeared and I had to prioritize my real life. As I’ve mentioned, sometimes that’s not my favorite thing to do.
Also in the realm of ‘late and/or absent,’ I never ended up releasing a piece in September. the reason behind this is because the piece I’ve been primarily working on, Only If You Want, has defied my expectations. Originally I thought it would be a piece that ran at around ten thousand words. Without spoiling too much, it most certainly won’t be. In a weird way, this means you’ll all still get the same amount of words (hopefully) as you would if I produced two 10k pieces in two months, so hopefully this isn’t too much of a setback.
I definitely could have made Only If You Want a chaptered story if I wanted to, but I found a few problems with this. Number one, if it were a play, it would have one act, one arc. It seemed disohnest to release it in chapters as opposed to, say, Being More Social, which dealt with different themes and characters in each chapter. Things evolved. Things don’t evolve in the same way in this piece.
Number two, I’d feel scummy asking my patrons to pay twice or more for this piece. It’s decidedly experimental, and plus, I’d rather be known for my works being quality and people being impressed with what they’re given for their patronage, rather than being known for spewing an impressive amount of mediocre writing. If I could have it both ways and write a masterpiece a week, but unfortunately it doesn’t appear to be the way I operate.
Quality has always been a difficult topic to me. I didn’t like Amy’s Fantasy when it was first released. I don’t like Pnopticon now. I find my style in Being More Social immature, and The Good the Bad and the Molly is too dark for me to properly enjoy. Not to say I’m not glad you all enjoy my work, but I can’t help but notice that… I don’t. I hope this isn’t a bad sign and that my bitterness means I don’t enjoy much writing. After all, if I loved my own work and was a hypercritical critic of other people’s erotica, I’d just come across as an asshole.
Largely, that’s where I am right now. Keep in mind that I’m also in school again, and knowing myself, that’s when I get a lot sadder and update my erotica less frequently. This year I’m trying hard to fight that tendency and keep it at bay, and I am legitimately 10,000 words into my most recent piece so I am actually doing a lot better so far. Here’s hoping I keep that streak up and finish this piece before November rolls around. I’ll talk to you all next week.