When to Apologize

Firstly, I’m very sorry for missing last week’s blog post. I appreciate the few of you that made good on my request and hounded me for it. I had to help a friend move and other end-of-spring stuff, and I ended up stressing myself out a lot and forgot. Again, I’m sorry.

It’s interesting that such a response is given, to the extent where it’s considered rude if a creator doesn’t do it. If a creator has set up a reputation of making a blog post every week or writing a piece every month, them just saying “that’s how it goes, you’ll have to wait until next month/week/etc” would look arrogant. And yet, these pieces are usually offered to their audiences for free, without any obligation of the audience except to check in to see what new stuff they got. It’s like having a machine in your house that makes food out of nothing for free – after a while, if the machine stops, the person it belongs to doesn’t shrug and walk away, they’re upset at the machine because it stopped doing what it’s ‘supposed to do.’

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that the situation is different for a number of reasons. Chiefly, there are people who pay actual money for my stuff through Patreon (though as outlined in previous blogs, that has become increasingly difficult for erotica specifically in the last year or so). As well, I don’t want to liken myself to something that makes across-the-board consistently valuable stuff. I also don’t want to suggest, “Whatever, people should be GRATEFUL for me doing this in the first place!” I understand how this game works. Relevance has a cost. If I want to make an impact, I must make a schedule and stick to it – no one owes me, or anyone else, their time.

I’m sure everyone reading this, at some point, has come across a celebrity or e-celebrity that has rendered them confused. “How did that person become successful?” Some of it, I’m sure, is scandal or negative attention turning into publicity, but I imagine a big part of it is schedule and plan. If you hear John Lennon’s name every day over the course of a month, you’re going to know who he is by the end of that month. If you plan an instance where your name is seen (in the erotica world, this is measured in pieces published as well as comments, forum posts, even voting on certain sites) then over time, that time investment will come back. Part of the reason I’ve accepted being small potatoes is because I’m terrible at that kind of planning. I’m a spontaneous type, through and through.

So when I do try to make claims of plans, such as weekly blog posts or monthly pieces, and my spontaneous nature makes me unable to follow through with what essentially was a promise to my audience, I owe them an apology. An apology is warranted if that promise was made. If you’re a budding erotica writer and you submitted a piece, then in the author’s note indicated that you ‘don’t know when the next one is coming out,’ breathe easy – you do not owe an apology, for you have not made a promise. For people like me who want to fight their nature and make promises but just can’t seem to always deliver… well, I get what I deserve, but that doesn’t mean that I should ever stop trying.

So let me be as purposefully vague as possible here – I’m working on a new piece and it will be out soonish. No clue specifically when – I don’t want to leave you all waiting, and I don’t mind apologizing, but I hate making situations where an apology is necessary. IT isn’t fair to you all.

Cheers, everyone, I’ll talk to you all in a week (hey look, another promise).

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